The Kenna winner will take home a whopping £152 if they’re top of the league in May.
As a record-breaking 19 managers attended the auction the total prize pot stands at £380.
Second place will scoop £57, third place £19 and the Cannestan Combi Cup winner £38.
Each month the top-scoring manager will win £11.40.
There are rumours of a potential discount to next entry fee for managers attending transfer windows.
The Chairman said: “We’re glad to announce the record-breaking prize pot on the eve of the season, and we wish every manager the best of luck in their campaign. The Kenna is fast becoming recognised as the best fantasy football experience around.
“However, we’re just as suseptible to inflation as any other organisation and as a result there will be a slight increase in entry fees for the 2012-13 season for managers not attending transfer windows.”
A record number of managers took part in last night’s Kenna auction.
A staggering eighteen turned up to pit their wits at fantasy football’s highest table.
With almost £2bn spent on players, some city analysts are linking the auction with today’s global market crisis.
The Kenna Chairman said: “Our seventh auction was by far the best attended in the league’s history, and I’d like to thank managers for making it such an enjoyable evening”
Early indications of which team will become favourites are unforthcoming, but Dynamo Charlton’s strike force of Gyan and Drogba is being tipped as a formidable one.
Bookies are already offering odds on Vasco De Beauvoir’s defence of Shittu, Hutton, Boyce and Luke Young being the most disappointing.
“Disappointing? This is an outrage!” said the Vasco manager. “My defenders all have international pedigree. Emerson Boyce is the lynchpin of the Barbados side and Alan Hutton’s the Scottish Cafu.”
The success of auction night was slightly marred by reports of the Chairman allegedly embezzling league funds.
“It was a chicken kebab and a taxi fare. I’ll pay it back,” he stormed.
The auction: all the fun of dressing in a rubber suit
Approaching the auction night is like going to a fetish party for the first time. You prepare yourself beforehand with a mental checklist of exactly what you’d like to do, but the next day you wake up with a heavy feeling of remorse and eleven men to whom you wouldn’t normally give the time of day.
Managers have come up with many formulas for avoiding just this scenario over the years, with varying degrees of success. With the big night due tomorrow, here are some manager profiles you’re likely to spot:
The Shrewd One – outlay a fairly reasonable bit of cash on three or four solid players who’ll be certain to get points. Wait patiently for everyone else to blow their wad before scooping up proven creative talents from unfashionable teams unchallenged. Demands research.
The Blasé One – do no homework, warm up with a couple of beers, then turn on the war face and bid for every player going until snagged by the Titus Bramble ruling. Results can be haphazard and have never attained league or cup success.
The Frustrated One – be absolutely certain of targets pre-auction, but gradually miss out on more and more of them due to lack of funds after ill-advised, early-evening purchases. Become increasingly irked at lack of progress. Finish the night livid.
The Confused One – get a list of players to buy from a guy at the desk next to you earlier in the day and watch them disappear under the hammer while trying to work out what the hell’s going on. Repeatedly say to managers next to you ‘Is this guy any good?’ while mispronouncing foreign names.
The Tentative One – keep holding back the budget for those big signings, but get outbid each time when the price gets high. End the evening with a mid-table mentality that derails league campaign.
The Lucky One – pick a few good players who hit form for the season and sit back while you scoop the Kenna.
Tevez, hairplugs, malaria, molester, out of form, dobber: in that order
Carlos Tevez has put quality time with his daughters on hold to become the most expensive signing in the DT player list, issued today.
The ‘wantaway’ striker, who spurned free plastic surgery on a childhood accident that left his neck scarred for life, shares the top spot with a man who had hairplugs fitted and announced it on the internet.
Frank Lampard takes the wig in midfield, despite his truly awful season for bottom-placed PSV last season. Watch Gareth Bale’s auction value plummet as he no longer picks up clean sheet points.
Vidic is the new JT/Ian Harte as the priciest defender. Joe Hart’s club form makes him first choice ‘keeper.
Managers are reminded that the position in which a player is included on this list, is the position they will play in their Kenna 4-4-2 formation.
View the player list by clicking on the PDF icon on the right, and remember: a Kenna manager is better than the information contained in the green box at the top.
Just one calendar month to go until the start of the new season. Salty.
We’re sorry to hear about you losing your job this week.
As the saying goes, when one door closes another one opens, and that’s why we’d like to offer you the fantastic opportunity to manage your own team next season in the Jeff Kenna League.
The format is simple. We meet in a bar before the Premiership season to hold an auction of players and afterwards we all go to a discotheque. We officially meet in a bar another two times in the season for transfer nights, and once business is concluded we proceed to a discotheque.
Other than that managers are free to visit as many bars and discotheques as they like. As you’ll know from your Chelsea days, there’s rather a lot of them in London.
We think your credentials make you an ideal manager for ‘the Kenna’. Provided, of course, you can pay the £20 entry fee.
We can even give your team an amusing name like ‘Terek-ball Perm’.
Eagerly awaiting your response,
The Chairman
PS – to allay any apprehensions you may have, I do not own a gold gun nor am I alleged to have been involved in violent political crimes. Neither, to the best of my knowledge, have any managers in the Kenna.
The YB manager: champion of the Kenna, and alternative fashion
Thank you to managers who attended last night’s end-of-season debrief on the pavement outside an exclusive central London venue.
The Chairman would say it was memorable, but frankly details at the end are as blurred as the purpose of the FIFA ethics committee.
Those not present missed a remarkable story about sneaking out of a wedding in France to watch the Champions League final, drinking a bottle of Beaujolais and causing a scene when they wouldn’t let him bring two local peons into the reception after the match.
If this sounds like you then you’re just the calibre of manager the Kenna is looking for. We need more of you to offest the smug-as-hell-even-though-their-shirt-is-tucked-into-their-pants brigade.
It’s here you can find out the latest news and updates of an intrepid band of managers and their own unique brand of fantasy football.
We look forward to the 2011/12 season, and especially the summer auction, where managers will spend five hours in a pub buying their first XI before the start of the Premiership.
Stats, teams and weekly updates will appear here soon. In the meantime, find out about our history, prizes, scoring and Titus Bramble by clicking on the links above.
Alternatively, you can look at last season’s results by clicking on the Excel icon on right.
The Kenna winner will take home a whopping £152 if they’re top of the league in May.
