Best midfield – 10/11

The Thriller
The foulest stench is in the air: Nani finally responded to the hairdryer treatment

Midfield mediocrity is the trademark of the trophyless Kenna manager.

Bit-part, maybe men midfielders are as popular with managers at auction as Alex McLeish wearing a Wolves shirt on a night out in Digbeth.

Relying mainly of their creativity, these wingers, number 10s and false nines are more susceptible to the vagaries of form than any other Kenna player.

So it comes as little surprise that Dynamo Temple scoop the best midfield award because of a player who in previous seasons has frustrated managers with his unpredictability.

Now out of the shadow of his fellow countryman, Nani put in some of his best performances since the Thriller video and charged to 171 points this season. What a snip at £8m!

Perhaps more important an accolade is the ‘Mid-table Midfield Award’, which is awarded to a team who started the season with Joe Cole, Petrov, Milner and Hitzlsperger. Must be something to do with the altitude in Nepal.

1 Dynamo Temple 475
2 Vasco De Beauvoir 473
3 Lokomotiv Tooting 408
4 Thieving Magpies 407
5 Polonia Forsyth 398
6 Young Boys 390
7 Athletico Temple 389
8 Deportivo Kensington 384
9 CSKA Bashers 370
10 Spartak Mogadishu 367
11 Legia Forsyth 348
12 The Dan Terry Ultimatum 337
13 Barking Nepal 334
14 PSV Mornington 321
15 FC Gun Show 257
16 Walthamstow Network Solutions 203
17 Spare Parts 192
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Best defence – 10/11

Spartak Mogadishu coaching staff
The Spartak Mogadishu coaching staff: marauding tactics left them plundered at the back

To stand any chance of winning the Kenna it’s imperative to have a back five as solid as Sepp Blatter’s gold toilet.

The 2010/11 award for best defence goes to champions Young Boys. The indomitable Cech, Vidic and Bale were ably supported by PFA Young Player of the Year Award-nominated Seamus Coleman and 38-games-this-season Roger Johnson.

At the tail end, Spartak Mogadishu’s Green, Warnock, Ryan Taylor, Kyrgiakos and Figueroa left a lot to be desired.

1 Young Boys 584
2 Legia Forsyth 555
3 FC Gun Show 534
4 Lokomotiv Tooting 497
5 CSKA Bashers 451
6 Barking Nepal 439
7 Vasco De Beauvoir 418
8 Polonia Forsyth 392
9 Dynamo Temple 387
10 Deportivo Kensington 382
11 Thieving Magpies 362
12 Spare Parts 347
13 Walthamstow Network Solutions 291
14 Athletico Temple 259
15 The Dan Terry Ultimatum 252
16 PSV Mornington 205
17 Spartak Mogadishu 167
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10-pint Thursday

The Young Boys manager
The YB manager: champion of the Kenna, and alternative fashion

Thank you to managers who attended last night’s end-of-season debrief on the pavement outside an exclusive central London venue.

The Chairman would say it was memorable, but frankly details at the end are as blurred as the purpose of the FIFA ethics committee.

Those not present missed a remarkable story about sneaking out of a wedding in France to watch the Champions League final, drinking a bottle of Beaujolais and causing a scene when they wouldn’t let him bring two local peons into the reception after the match.

If this sounds like you then you’re just the calibre of manager the Kenna is looking for. We need more of you to offest the smug-as-hell-even-though-their-shirt-is-tucked-into-their-pants brigade.

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A better fantasy

Welcome to Jeff’s new home on the internet.

It’s here you can find out the latest news and updates of an intrepid band of managers and their own unique brand of fantasy football.

We look forward to the 2011/12 season, and especially the summer auction, where managers will spend five hours in a pub buying their first XI before the start of the Premiership.

Stats, teams and weekly updates will appear here soon. In the meantime, find out about our history, prizes, scoring and Titus Bramble by clicking on the links above.

Alternatively, you can look at last season’s results by clicking on the Excel icon on right.

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