Brambled pink

Pink Gin
Pink Gin: tastes like neat gin, only worse. Financial penalties for Brambling also loom

PINK GIN is to be deployed in the war on tactical Brambling.

Managers found to be deliberately making illegal bids at next month’s Kenna auction will have to order, buy and drink the cocktail before taking any further part in proceedings.

The rule was changed after a manager was discovered knowingly buying a second French player in order to induce a forfeit and free up funds late on in May’s Olisadebe Euro 2012 auction.

New regulations also mean that all managers convoking the Titus Bramble ruling, whether tactical, incidental or accidental, will have half the value of the player forfeit confiscated.

In a press conference arranged in the lounge bar of the King’s Arms in Waterloo, the Chairman said: “Pink Gin is the perfect drink to deter tactical Bramblers. While the addition of Angostura Bitters turns the drink the colour of a Frank Schlek urine sample, it does absolutely nothing to detract from the taste of warm, neat gin.

“We have acted decisively to stamp out the pernicious threat of tactical Brambling. It will mean tougher penalties for all Brambling, but the spirit of the Kenna is at stake.”

It must be proved beyond reasonable doubt that tactical Brambling has taken place for the rule to take effect.

Steaua Apples

The league has announced more lenient rules for managers accidentally introducing an illegal player to auction. If no other bids are made, and the manager immediately recognises their blunder, the Titus Bramble ruling will not be triggered.

“If no other managers make any bids for a player recognised to be illegal, the offending manager will not receive a forfeit, but may take no further part in the auction until they have bought and downed an Apple Sourz. That’s the kind of spirit the league has for members, and I’m sure managers can reciprocate that gesture,” said the Chairman in his munificence.

Those taking proceedings too seriously and throwing their toys out of the pram will be subject to ‘Mogadishu Rules’ – and openly mocked by the whole group.

More details about the ‘Spirit of the Kenna’ can be found on the Titus Bramble page.

Full rules and regulations will be shared with managers prior to the auction.

Share Button