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The lower echelons of the table have never been a bad place to be, so long as there’s the good chance to get on a bit of cup run.
Sadly, this is not the case for any managers in this season’s Kenna, where two of teams in the relegation zone have also scored nil points in the Cannestan Combi Cup.
Heads may be nearing the block at Thieving Magpies and Spartak Mogadishu.
Kenna HQ announced this week that they’ve sold the Cannestan Combi Cup TV rights to Channel 5.
A glamorous unveiling of the new deal, worth £50 and a 1995 Panini sticker of John Solako playing for Crystal Palace, was made in an exclusive central London venue.
The Chairman said: “Being positive about equal rights, we made sure there was a BME guy on stage when we announced the deal. It’s also good for business in the subcontinent.
“We tried to get John Barnes, but he was booked raising awareness for some cause or other.”
Kenna critics have pointed out that the cup is nothing more than a moneyspinner for the administration, and claim that the publication of last week’s table today shows a lack of committment to the competition.
A press release from Kenna HQ said: “The Chairman’s been so busy flying to Ukraine for the Euro 2012 draw that there simply hasn’t been time to post the results.
“The good news, however, is that the Chairman has successfully met with the president of the Polish FA in Kiev to get some advice on securing new premisis for Kenna HQ.
“In the cup last week some stuff happened. We’re pretty sure no one reads this far down anyway, and there are loads of group games left too, so who cares at this stage?”
cup second round
Teams have been drawn for the group stages of this season’s Cannestan Combi Cup, the oldest and most prestigious tournament contest in Kenna history.
With 19 entrants, this season’s group stage sees group D teams only having to play three matches. In all the other groups teams will play four.
The top two teams from each group will progress to a two-leg, knock-out stage, to be drawn at the Feburary window.
League points difference over the group fixtures will decide who progresses in the event of being level on cup points in the group.
Simple.
Cup dates will be announced soon.
Group AThieving Magpies Lokomotiv Leeds Young Boys of Kilburn Hairy Fadjeetas Vasco De Beauvoir |
Group BJust Put Carles Polonia Forsyth Bala Rinas Headless Chickens Newington Reds |
Group CSuperfuzz PSV Mornington Dynamo Charlton Spartak Mogadishu The Dan Terry Seduction |
Group DJudean Peoples’ Front FC Testiculadew Pikey Scum Lurliners |
Over the next three months teams will be will be pitched against each other in pre-selected weeks.
Whoever picks up the most points in that week will earn three cup points. Teams scoring an equal amount will get one a piece.
There are no points for a loss.
Teams equal on cup points at the end of the group stages will be decided on league points difference.
More Kenna records were left as smashed as the managers last night as the transfer window attracted 14 bidders.
In a pressure-cooker atmosphere behind some thick curtains in the upstairs of a Piccadilly pub, 13 managers packed in for business.
The Thieving Magpies manager offered some applied phone bidding. Kevin Doyle and Gabriel Obertan were his reward.
Colonel Gaddafi and Vincent Tabak sadly couldn’t make it.
League leaders FC Testiculadew (pronounced ‘Test-ick-you-lah-joo’, didn’t you know?) picked up in form attacker Juan Mata for £31m, much to the concern of those present.
Emmanuel Adebayor attracted the biggest price tag as the Pikey Scum boss recovered from his night inside to stump up £43m.
“An excellent evening and well attended,” said the Chairman. “Managers should remember that their new players will only start to score points from next weekend.
“Those not present who needed players can be assured there was an open and transparent process to fill the gaps in their teams.”
Full details, and the results of the Cannestan Combi Cup draw, will be published soon.