Outlook: With the exception of £8m Stewart Downing, the Pikey manager seems to have assembled a side capable of making a first successful assault on the title. Will have a tough decision come the first transfer window, when he’ll have to jettison either Bale or Adebayor
THE CHAMPIONSHIP title may have wanted to padlock itself into a bag because current managers are so inept, it emerged today at the Kenna-in-the-bag inquiry.
The panel heard chilling evidence from the 2006 Claudio Caniggia World Cup, which attempted to padlock itself into a bag in the aftermath of the controversial tournament.
“The group stages went well, but then the newspaper stopped printing the scores. The administration tried to deal with it by waiting until after the final and getting all the player totals from some random Yank sports website. I felt completely devalued. It was an utter clusterf*ck,” said the Caniggia after the inquiry had watched video evidence of the tournament trying to lock itself in a holdall in 2007.
The panel heard that the Kenna title could have resorted similar actions.
“The mediocre managers in the league today? Their naive auction tactics? I wouldn’t be surprised if this season’s championship had wanted to be in the bag,” stated the Caniggia, fighting back the tears.
Experts maintain that it’s unlikely the Kenna could have got into the bag itself, and that it must have been forced in by a third party.