By the Still Don’t Know Yet manager
A FLEET of Royal Navy ships has been deployed off the north east coast in an attempt to ward off the possibility of further pirate attacks following the brief abduction of a Middlesbrough football player.
Danny Graham had only just transferred to Boro from Kenna League team Still Don’t Know Yet when the incident happened on Friday night.
A pirate raiding party sailed up the River Tees to the club’s Riverside Stadium, where a landing party disembarked, captured the striker, and took him back on board.
However, after realising that Graham was ineligible to play for anyone but Middlesbrough (and useless at football so of little use for ransom), he was swiftly released almost as suddenly as he was captured.
“Yaaarrrrr, t’was an administrative error,” said a pirate spokesman as their ship sailed back towards Somalia.