PSV boss rues ‘mean’ Clásico

Catalan flag donkey
Donkey punch: Barcelona suffered title hopes blow

JOSE Mourinho is facing fierce criticism over his tactics in Real Madrid’s victory over Barcelona last night.

The Portuguese is sure to be unsettled by comments made in the wake of the away win by the PSV Mornington manager.

The Catalan put aside recent hostilities with his fellow countryman and gave a resigned press conference at the club’s Crescent stadium

“Yesterday evening it happened that Real Madrid played with 11 players behind the ball – something that should not honour a team with nine European cups – and were lucky enough to get two goals from three shots on target.

“I know, Barcelona did not have that many yesterday, but they had the ball just in front of their [Real Madrid’s] box for 80 per cent of the match, so normally this would mean a Barcelona win,” said the Catalan with a comical look on his face after Total Football’s insides had been kicked out for the second time in four days.

“Anyway, this happens in football, they have played us this way, very mean, for the last 10 matches and just got one win yesterday, one win in the extra time and eight losses – including 2-6, 5-0 and 1-3.”

Usually confident ahead of such fixtures, the PSV boss will endure a nailbiting 48 hours ahead of Barcelona’s ill-fated Champions League second leg with Chelsea.

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El Gran Cat-fight

  • Just Put Carles sink below PSV for first time

  • War of words erupts between Catalan managers

    Catalan donkey
    Donkey derby: the battle for 12th refuses to be a peaceful one

HOSTILITIES have been declared between the Kenna’s Barcelona contingent.

The knives were out in ‘La Liga Latina’ after early-season front runners Just Put Carles dipped to thirteenth in the table, one place below fierce Catalan rivals PSV Mornington.

Comments made by the JPC manager at a post-match interview on Wednesday evening ignited the row.

“N’hi ha per llogar-hi cadires!” fumed the JPC boss, in a language only a handful of people understand, when asked what it was like to be below PSV for the first time in the season.

Yesterday morning’s front cover of Sport, Catalonia’s best-selling sports daily, featured a cartoon depicting the PSV boss trying to lure passers by into an empty stadium.

“Tallo el bacallà!”

The PSV manager’s response was unequivocal. Interviewed through the window of his Continental city car arriving at work yesterday he said: “Sabràs dos i dos quants fan. Està tocat del bolet. Tallo el bacallà!”

By Thursday lunchtime, the quote was all over the news. Photoshopped pictures of the JPC boss eating cod and mushrooms went viral.

“Ets un somiatruites i un tap de bassa!,” said the JPC manager emerging from his afternoon siesta when quizzed by reporters about his rival Catalan’s comments.

Mexican stand-off

Late Thursday evening, the PSV boss was forced to abandon his customary, midnight, family paella to address the rabble of hacks assembled outside his house.

“No sabeu el pa que s’hi dóna,” is all he would explain to Sky Sports News while eating a suspiciously-large piece of nougat and making a flicking gesture with his thumb and front teeth.

Even though just five points separate the two teams, both managers repeatedly refuse to acknowledge they are in a ‘Mexican stand-off’ for 12th place.

They outrageously claim the British media are ‘portraying negative stereotypes of Hispanic culture’.

As the Kenna moves into the final month of the season, the spat appears far from over.

Catalan donkey on balconyQuick guide to Catalan idioms

    • N’hi ha per llogar-hi cadires! > You could even rent chairs with this!
      (I can’t believe it / this is incredible – in a negative context)
    • Sabràs dos i dos quants fan > you know what two and two make
      (There will be consequences if I do not get my way)
    • Està tocat del bolet > He is touched by the mushroom
      (He is crazy)
    • Tallo el bacallà > I cut the cod
      (I’m in a position of power)
    • Ets un somiatruites > He is an omelette dreamer
      (He is a daydreamer)
    • No sabeu el pa que s’hi dóna > You do not know the bread that is given
      (You do not really know what is this about)

For more information about Catalan idioms and the region itself visit All about Catalonia.

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