Dropping the N-bomb

Luis Suarez and Patrice Evra
"Where's your caravan?"

The Kenna was rocked this week by allegations of derogatory remarks made during a match to Pikey Scum defender Patrice Evra.

Superfuzz striker Luis Suarez, who stands accused of using the ‘N’ word, denies any wrongdoing and has the full backing of his manager.

“Like all my players, Luis epitomises the civility, taste and style of Superfuzz FC and I can’t imagine him ever coming out with this type of remark during a match,” said the manager, after putting in a discreet telephone call to Ebony Entertainments Ltd to cancel down the surprise stripper for the club’s Halloween party.

The Pikey Scum manager defended claims that his defender fabricated the incident to draw attention away from another lacklustre performance.

“Being the Pikey Scum of the Kenna it’s a sad fact that we’ve grown used to these sort of comments and this type of negative stereotyping,” he said, while loading scrap metal into an untaxed van under the cover of darkness. “But, to call Patrice a ‘nomad’ during league play, that’s just unacceptable.”

Weekly scores 18 October 2011
Weekly scores 18 October 2011
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Polonia Forsyth

Manager: Miss Claire Forsyth (SCO)

Since: 2008

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Aberdeen, Spurs

Fabianski, L ARS £0.5m
Vidic, N MUN £27m
Coloccini, F NEW £5m
Dunne, R AVL £5m
Corluka, V TOT £2m
Essien, M CHE £0.5m
Arteta, M ARS £12m
Petrov, M BOL £6m
Delap, R STO £10m
Balotelli, M MCY £25m
Rodallega, H WIG £5m
    £98m
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