Le Horn d’Afrique

Manager: Abdi

Nationality: Le Pirate Arab

International honours: none

Formation: 4-4-2

Fabianski, L POL £2m
Stones, J ENG £9m
Olsson, M SWE £0.5m
Fuchs, C AUT £4m
Skrtel, M SVK £7m
Payet, D FRA £14m
Ramsey, A WAL £5m
Koke ESP £3m
Rosicky, T CZE £7m
Ronaldo, C POT £39m
Long, S IRL £5m
£95.5m
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Real Brexit

Manager: Pete

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: none

Formation: 3-4-3

Tatarusanu, C RMN £2m
Shevchuk, V UKR £5m
Rodriguez, R SUI £8m
Danilo POT £3m
Busquets, S ESP £9m
Sigurdsson, G ICE £10m
Inan, S TUR £0.5m
Fellaini, M BEL £13m
Dzyuba, A RUS £12m
Lafferty, K NIR £1m
Rashford, M ENG £0.5m
£64m
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Sporting Lesbian

Manager: Ben M

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: none

Formation: 3-4-3

Almer, R AUT £1m
Williams, A WAL £5m
Chiriches, V RMN £0.5m
Evans, J NIR £0.5m
Hazard, E BEL £29m
Weiss, V SVK £0.5m
Kovacic, M CRO £1m
Zielinski, P POL £0.5m
Insigne, L ITA £1m
Muller, T GER £40m
Sigthorsson, K ICE £0.5m
£79.5m
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Two Goals One Cup

Manager: Spencer

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: none

Formation: 3-5-2

Lloris, H FRA £2m
Chiellini, G ITA £17m
Khacheridi, Y UKR £4m
Vermaelen, T BEL £9m
Bale, G WAL £19m
Shaqiri, X SUI £13m
Perisic, I CRO £15m
Alli, D ENG £12m
Khedira, S GER £5m
Keane, R IRL £0.5m
Berg, M SWE £0.5m
£97m
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Jimmy De Gea’s U16s

Manager: Sholto

Nationality: Le Moutons Baiseur

International honours: none

Formation: 4-3-3

Pyatov, A UKR £0.5m
Hector, J GER £14m
Rose, D ENG £9m
Alderweireld, T BEL £13m
Granqvist, A SWE £2m
Matuidi, B FRA £4m
Fabregas, C ESP £9m
Silva, R POT £4m
El Shaarawy, S ITA £7m
Lewandowski, R POL £24m
Kokorin, A RUS £0.5m
£87m
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Barco FC

Manager: Jorge

Nationality: L’Espingouin

International honours: none

Formation: 3-4-3

Courtois, T BEL £14m
Hummels, M GER £14m
Pekarik, P SVK £4m
Schar, F SUI £2m
Modric, L CRO £13m
Sterling, R ENG £11m
Quaresma, R POT £6m
Krychowiak, G POL £2m
Pelle, G ITA £10m
Ibrahimovic, Z SWE £18m
Aduriz, A ESP £6m
£100m
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Dulwich Red Sox

Manager: Luke

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: none

Formation: 3-4-3

Mignolet, S BEL £0.5m
Barzagli, A ITA £0.5m
Dragovic, A AUT £0.5m
Mangala, E FRA £0.5m
Johnson, A* HMP Leeds £10m
Sanches, R POT £0.5m
Shirokov, R RUS £0.5m
Silva, D ESP £22m
Sturridge, D ENG £13m
Stancu, B RMN £3m
Podolski, L GER £0.5m
£51.5m

*Given the opportunity to pay for a lucky dip of Zlatan, Ronaldo and Adam Johnson, the manager paid £10 of his budget only to draw the latter.

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Wandsworth Window Lickers

Manager: Will

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: none

Formation: 4-4-2

de Gea, D ESP £3m
Chester, J WAL £10m
Kaderabek, P CZE £1m
Boateng, J GER £14m
Prodl, S AUT £1m
Coman, K FRA £11m
Moutinho, J POT £9m
Florenzi, A ITA £2m
Nainggolan, R BEL £0.5m
Vardy, J ENG £17m
Mandzukic, M CRO £11m
£79.5m
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Napoleon Dynorod

Manager: Stix (the chairman)

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: 2010 Dr Khumalo World Cup champions

Formation: 5-4-1

Hart, J ENG £9m
Limbersky, D CZE £5m
Sagna, B FRA £9m
Pepe POT £5m
Djourou, J SUI £3m
Juanfran ESP £15m
Kroos, T GER £15m
Larsson, S SWE £0.5m
Calhanoglu, H TUR £10m
Klein, F AUT £0.5m
Kalinic, N CRO £0.5m
£72.5m
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Blame Canada

Manager: Dudley

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: none

Formation: 4-3-3

Buffon, G ITA £12m
Alba, J ESP £17m
Walker, K ENG £10m
Evra, P FRA £11m
Alves, B POT £0.5m
Alaba, D AUT £11m
Ozil, M GER £25m
Konoplyanka, Y UKR £1m
Yilmaz, B TUR £1m
Milik, A POL £11m
Mehmedi, A SUI £0.5m
£100m
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