Easy targets

Tirowka
Gone in a flash: unsigned, in-form players are expected to be snapped up at Friday’s transfer window

NOWHERE is the enterprise and work ethic of the Polish nation in more evidence than this lay-by 100 miles south of the Baltic coast.

Among the lakes and woodlands of Europe’s Great Northern Plain, this blurry lady patiently plies her trade for just, local knowledge maintains, 35 zlotys a time (£7).

While this roadside boudoir, which consists of a green, plastic garden chair for waiting and a forest for everything else, gives both the lonely and the lasivious a secluded liaison, it also offers the more unconventional, shovel-carrying punter plenty of options.

Kenna managers will be hoping that this Friday’s transfer window is just as open a hunting ground, but with up to £10m in bonuses for submitting players to be released by Wednesday’s 12pm deadline and just a handful of desirable footballers available, competition will be fierce.

With the unsigned, in-form talent likely to attract large sums of money, managers may be forced, like the lay-by lady, to focus their efforts mainly on journeymen.

Top-scoring unsigned players

Strikers: Kone, Wigan (39 points), Shane Long, West Brom (36 points), Petric, Fulham (28 points), Di Santo, Wigan (27 points), Ricardo Vaz Te, West Ham (27 points)

Midfielders: Damian Duff, Fulham (35 points), Kightly, Stoke (24 points), McAnuff, Reading (23 points), Kacaniklic, Fulham (23 points), Raheem Sterling, Liverpool (22 points)

Defenders: Reid, West Ham (38 points), Jenkinson, Arsenal (27 points), Mertesacker, Arsenal (25 points), Chris Baird, Fulham (24 points), Kolorov, Man City (22 points)

Goalkeepers: Begovic, Stoke (23 points), Mannone, Arsenal (19 points)

League table

Week 8 - 23 October 2012
Week 8 – 23 October 2012

Weekly scores

Manager Points Goals
1 PSV Mornington El Pons 34 4
2 Hairy Fadjeetas Aiden 31 1
3 Just put Carles Carles 28 2
4 Spartak Mogadishu Abdi 28 2
5 Greendale Rockets Stu 26 3
6 Northern Monkeys Hugo 26 2
7 Still Don’t Know Yet Pete 22 1
8 Sporting Lesbian Ben M 22 1
9 Woking Mike 22 1
10 Lokomotiv Leeds Ben S 20 0
11 Bala Rinas Lewis 19 1
12 Piedmonte Phil 19 0
13 Dynamo Charlton Alex 18 0
14 FC Testicluadew James N 18 0
15 Newington Reds Dudley 17 0
16 Pikey Scum Jack 16 2
17 Judean Peoples’ Front Sholto 16 0
18 Wandsworth Window Lickers Will 12 0
19 Headless Chickens John N 11 0
20 Vasco De Beauvoir Stix 6 0
Points Player
Player of the week 15 Mata, J – CHE – MID
Club PSV Mornington

 

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