Swann: I witnessed Kenna alcohol abuse

FORMER England cricketer Graeme Swann has said he saw alcohol being abused by Kenna League managers just two months ago.

The revelation comes three weeks after alcoholic drinks broke legal anonymity to make allegations in the media of historic alcohol abuse at Kenna auctions and transfer nights over the last decade.

Swann, who took 255 test wickets, believes he witnessed three league managers abusing drinks at a free bar on the Strand, including two high-ranking officials from Kenna HQ.

“Everyone was having a quiet drink but these three were planted at the bar ordering round after round, and on a Monday night too. At the time you think ‘is this normal?'” said Swann.

“It’s pretty disgusting. What went on is not normal behaviour. When you hear the stories of all-day drinking sessions without eating and bottles of absinthe trafficked from Eastern Europe… you look back at it now and think ‘hang on, what was going on?’.

The incident followed ‘Graeme Swann’s Great British Spin Off with Henry Blofeld’ at the Duchess Theatre in Covent Garden in October.

Three Kenna managers and their entourage attended a VIP event with Swann and Blofeld after the show (pictured, above), where they are reported to have consumed more than the recommended daily allowance.

Challenged by the media at a press conference outside Kenna HQ this morning, the chairman tried to deflect the scandal.

“That was Graeme Swann?” he shrugged. “Oh…this is going to be awkward. I thought it was Peter Such.”

Kenna League week 16

Islington Sports Islam & Leisure‘s steady decline continued this week as they sunk to third place.

Waiting in the wings while twirling his moustache, the manager of FC Testiculadew leapt into second place ably assisted by a 21-point haul from striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

For full scores and results visit The Rub.

Kenna table week 16 - 20 December 2016
Kenna table week 16 – 20 December 2016

Roque Santa Claus Christmas Cup

1. (was 1) Testicureds 259 (FC Testiculadew 143 / Walthamstow Reds 116)

2. (was 2=) So Good They Ate Pies Twice 235 (Thieving Magpies 130 / So Good They Named Him Twice 105)

3. (was 5) Lesbian Panda 221 (Sporting Lesbian 145 / Team Panda 76)

4. (was 2=) Leeds Burqini 219 (Lokomotiv Leeds 86 / Burqini Pool Party 133)

5. (was 6) Vauxhall Chinese Takeaway 214 (Young Boys of Vauxhall 145 / Adam Johnson Fan Club 69)

6. (was 9) Charlton Towers 184 (Sleptember XI 107 / Dynamo Charlton 77)

7. (was 4) Pikey Network Failure 181 (Pikey Scum 98 / Wandsworth Network Solutions 83)

8. (was 7) Just Piss Poor 178 (Piss Poor 111 / Just Put Carles 67)

9. (was 8) Bala Monkeys 169 (Bala Rinas 91 / Northern Monkeys 78)

10. (was 10) The Peoples’ Front of Cowley 160 (Cowley Casuals 103 / Judean Peoples’ Front 57)

11. (was 11) Two Pegs One Hook 129 (ISIL 74 / Two Goals One Cup 55)

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