FC Testiculadew

Manager: James N (Yorkshire)

Since: 2011

Last season: Champions

Trophy cabinet: League and cup double (last season)

Sympathies: Everton

Darts music: Big Balls – ACDC

Outlook: Ever the pantomime villain after his indiscretions ahead of the Olisadebe Euro 2012, a ripple of boos accompanied the FCT manager’s late arrival to last week’s auction. Unperturbed he went on to assemble a capable side, but how long will fans’ patience last if he fails to defend the title without a big-money signing?

No Brambles

Ruddy, J NOR £1.5m
Debuchy, M NEW £0.5m
Davies, B SWA £0.5m
Luiz, D CHE £3m
Evans, J MUN £7.5m
Akpan, H REA £0.5m
Toure, Y MCY £21m
Pienaar, S EVE £12m
Wilshere, J ARS £0.5m
Remy, L QPR £35m
Berbatov, D FUL £37m
 Total £119m

Second transfer window – 1 February 2013

Out     In
Simpson, D NEW £6.5m Debuchy, M NEW £0.5m
Vertonghen, J TOT £13m Davies, B SWA £0.5m
Bannan, B AVL £0.5m Akpan, H REA £0.5m
Crouch, P STO £2m Remy, L QPR £35m

First transfer window – 26 October 2012

Out     In
Vidic, N MUN £13m Evans, J MUN £7m
Sinclair, S SWA £11m Bannan, B AVL £0.5m
Frei, K FUL £5.5m Wilshere, J ARS £0.5m
Podolski, L ARS £11m Berbatov, D FUL £37m
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Judean Peoples’ Front (second window)

Manager: Mr Sholto Gilbertson (WAL)

Since: 2008

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Manchester United

Ruddy, J (B) NOR £0.5m
Heitinga, J EVE £8m
Gallas, W TOT £10m
Toure, K MCY £7m
Upson, M STO £4m
Scholes, P MUN £0.5m
Duff, D FUL £8m
N’Zogbia, C AVL £0.5m
Ramires CHE £9.5m
van Persie, R ARS £38.5m
Bellamy, C LIV £0.5m
£87m
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