Oscar’s night

Browning 9mm Pistol
Shooter: Sporting Lesbian have scored 11 more goals than the next highest club this season

THE CASUAL Kenna manager must be hoping for some kind of Oscar Pistorius turn of fortune to beset Messrs Suarez and Aguero.

The Sporting Lesbian duo are fast leaving the rest of league behind. Chasing managers are wondering why their midnight trip to the John is being interrupted by the sound of a strange padding noise outside their bathroom door.

Chipping in with a paltry two appearance points, Maynor Figueroa was the only other Sporting man to contribute this week, but still the side outperformed all but one other.

No stranger to automatic weapons himself, Anders Breivik lookalike the Judean Peoples’ Front manager made his team’s case for a place in Europe as Jose Enrique and Ashley Cole both put in strong showings.

At the bottom Woking slipped even further away from safety. The manager’s competence has already been doubted by the highest authorities. How long until the club has their very own Night of the Short Blades?

Canesten Combi Cup second leg of the last 16 this weekend. Away goals count. Download the free wallchart.

League table

Week 25 - 19 February 2013
Week 25 – 19 February 2013

Weekly scores

Manager Points Goals
1 Still Don’t Know Yet Pete 36 5
2 Sporting Lesbian Ben M 30 3
3 Judean Peoples’ Front Sholto 30 1
4 Dynamo Charlton Alex 22 2
5 Newington Reds Dudley 21 1
6 Piedmonte Phil 20 1
7 Just put Carles Carles 19 0
8 Pikey Scum Jack 17 1
9 Greendale Rockets Stu 15 1
10 Headless Chickens John N 14 1
11 FC Testicluadew James N 13 1
12 PSV Mornington El Pons 12 1
13 Hairy Fadjeetas Aiden 12 0
14 Bala Rinas Lewis 11 0
15 Lokomotiv Leeds Ben S 10 0
16 Woking Mike 8 0
17 Northern Monkeys Hugo 7 0
18 Spartak Mogadishu Abdi 6 0
19 Vasco De Beauvoir Stix 6 0
20 Wandsworth Window Lickers Will 6 0
Points Player
Player of the week 15 Aguero, S – MCY – STR
Club Sporting Lesbian
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Lurliners (second window)

Lurliners made no transfers in the second window

Manager: Mr Luke Jones (ENG)

Since: 2011

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Liverpool

Howard, T EVE £9m
Gibbs, K ARS £6m
Enrique, J LIV £5m
Taylor, S NEW £9m
Collins, J AVL £8m
Young, A MUN £17.5m
Modric, L TOT £13m
Muamba, F BOL £0.5m
Johnson, B NOR £2.5m
Di Santo, F WIG £11m
Fletcher, S WLV £0.5m
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