Spurs 3 – 1 Bolton

QUIBBLES about value for money at top-flight English football matches were set aside for 10 days in north London.

For as little as £34 a ticket, the spectator was treated not just to a competitive 40 minutes of football abruptly ended by an ‘I was there’ life-time pub story, but a further match last night of great goalkeeping in the face of wave after wave of Spurs attack.

The first half belonged to ‘magic Magyar’ Adam Bogdan, whose acrobatic feats between the sticks were enough to keep out a dominant, yet leggy, Tottenham onslaught.

Bolton had little of the ball, but remained compact enough. It’s not just the journalist band wagon, without Lennon on the right and Bale hugging the left, Spurs looked out of sorts.

The second half began in much the same fashion. Modric and Bale dominated possession in midfield, but clear chances for Adebayor and van der Vaart were swatted away by the impressive, ginger Hungarian.

It was only after Jermaine Defoe replaced the jaded Scott Parker that pressure turned into goals.

An excellent van der Vaart free kick that hit the crossbar aside, Tottenham’s set pieces were distinctly underwhelming. Ironically, it was from a corner that the Lillywhites went ahead in the 74th minute. Kiwi veteran Ryan Nelsen nodded in his first for his new club.

Having not registered a victory in all competitions since a replay win against Stevenage, the atmosphere at White Hart Lane palpably relaxed when Bale found himself clear to notch the second.

The Spurs faithful were rolling out the Wembley chants when Kevin Davies netted a surprise comeback goal for Bolton in 90th minute.

Their nerves were calmed when Louis Saha bent one around Bogdan in the last minute of stoppage time. By his substitution choices and overall game plan, Owen Coyle gave the impression he’d rather concentrate on staying the Premier League anyway.

Of course, we all clapped before the match to recognise the efforts of the medical staff who attended Fabrice Muamba. Thankfully, the game didn’t turn into a reverential procession it could have done.

Harry Redknapp does need to pull his team’s finger out. They played a lot better when his dog was up at Southwark Crown for tax evasion…

King Louis and the Bent pauper

King Louis XIII — King Louis: magnificent week for Saha

Thieving Magpies catapulted out of the drop zone as new signing Louis Saha racked up 18 points.

The struggling club are now basking in the relative sunshine of mid-table mediocrity.

Costing just half a million pounds in the last transfer window, King Louis’ contribution in just one week equates to almost a fifth of £32m Darren Bent’s total score this season.

“Darren’s doing a job for us,” said the Theiving Magpies manager, handing his striker a shopping list.

Some pundits have suggested Pies’ springboard into mid table only shows how many teams are in danger of relegation.

‘Sub-human scum’

Luis Suarez’s latest antics ended with his manager issuing an apology for comments made in a post-match interview.

The Superfuzz striker refused to shake hands with Pikey Scum defender Patrice Evra before Saturday’s game.

Asked afterwards what he made of the incident, the Superfuzz manager called Sky Sports reporter Geoff Shreeves ‘bang out of order’.

“Handshake? What handshake?” said a confused-looking Fuzz manager. “I didn’t see anything like that. I don’t understand what you’re talking about.

“Why would he shake Evra’s hand? He’s Scum. Sub-human Scum. You’re bang out of order, pal.”

Open to ridicule

The Vasco De Beauvoir manager has been criticised for his reaction to Steven N’Zonzi’s first goal of the season.

Visibly ecstatic when the midfielder scored at the weekend, the Vasco boss hastily arranged an open-top bus tour of De Beauvoir to celebrate.

Hackney Council received three official complaints after the bus held up traffic in the area around Southgate Road on Tuesday morning.

One onlooker said: “This guy smoking a cigar and swigging a bottle of champagne had his arm around N’Zonzi on the top deck and was cheering at some young mum’s with pushchairs. To be honest there weren’t many people around.”

A local shopkeeper said: “All the players looked really awkward, especially N’Zonzi. They seemed a bit embarrassed that London bus drivers were shouting at them to get out of the way.”

Thieving Magpies (second window)

Manager: Mr Phil Davis (ENG)

Since: 2005 (founder member)

Trohpy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Notts County

Robinson, P	BLR	£4m
Terry, J	CHE	£28m
Lescott, J	MCY	£10m
Agger, D	LIV	£10m
Olsson, J	WBA	£0.5m
Sidwell, S	FUL	£0.5m
Gibson, D	EVE	£1m
Pennant, J	STO	£0.5m
Park, Ji-Sung	MUN	£0.5m
Bent, D	AVL	£32m
Saha, L	TOT	£0.5m
		£99m

Transfer deadline day – just four hours left!

Jermaine Defoe and Louis Saha playing paper, scissors, stone to see who’ll stay at PSV Mornington.

Vedran Corluka’s personal belongings being thrown out of a first-floor, terraced-house window by a teary-eyed Polonia Forsyth boss.

Andrey Asharvin in a cravat and smoking jacket telling the Hairy Fadjeetas gaffer “I go Mother Russia where make small tax and cheap car insurance”.

Just some of the footage we’d like to bring you today ahead of 12pm’s transfer submission deadline.

Instead, it’s the picture of the half-dressed girl with the developed quad again.

And Jim White making a rac1st slip of the tongue on live television.

“If you want to do business on Friday night send in your unwanted players by 12pm, otherwise you won’t be doing any business on Friday night,” said the Chairman while mixing cement in a disused warehouse.