ODDS on FC Testiculadew claiming their second Kenna League title dropped faster than a Malaysia Airlines flight this weekend as the club extended their lead at the top of the table.
Even though as they hurtled towards earth at terminal velocity passengers of MH370 would have seen FCT striker Edin Dzeko’s fluffed goalmouth effort going the other way, a masterful display from Mesut Ozil and assists from Kevin Mirallas and Juan Mata saw the chasing pack drop even further off the radar.
What everyone hoped would remain the most open Kenna season in recent times has veered dramatically off course. Managers can only pray it doesn’t turn into a repeat of this time two years ago, when FCT’s dominance left the rest of league bobbing around helpless in the dark ocean, watching the wreckage of their title challenge sink into the depths and wondering whether the pathetic light given off by their life jackets can be seen by Vietnamese search and rescue pilots in fake Ray Bans.
Down in Davey Jones’ locker, Somali-managed Spartak Mogadishu climbed one place simply because their performance was only slightly less dismal than Dulwich Red Sox.
His ongoing silent protest over changes to league rules spelt no comment from the DRS manager on his team’s steady decline from mid-table to the relegation zone. Analysts believe a sponsored silence would have been a sure fire way for the manager to raise much-needed transfer funds.
Looking ahead to the weekend’s Canesten Combi Cup last 16 fixtures, four goals shipped at home in the first leg for both Judean Peoples’ Front and Team Panda Rules OK mean it’ll take a lot more than a pair of fake passports for them to get into the quarter finals.
Kenna table
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | Rapids De Cullons CF | Jorge | 31 | 3 |
| 2 | Team Panda Rules OK | George | 30 | 3 |
| 3 | FC Testiculadew | James N | 29 | 1 |
| 4 | KS West Green | Stix | 29 | 1 |
| 5 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 25 | 2 |
| 6 | Just put Carles | Carles | 23 | 1 |
| 7 | Young Boys | Denney | 23 | 1 |
| 8 | Northern Monkeys | Hugo | 21 | 1 |
| 9 | St. Reatham FC | Mike | 19 | 1 |
| 10 | Judean Peoples Front | Sholto | 18 | 1 |
| 11 | This is Sparta…Prague | Rich | 18 | 1 |
| 12 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 17 | 0 |
| 13 | Sporting Lesbian | Ben M | 16 | 0 |
| 14 | Piedmonte | Phil | 15 | 1 |
| 15 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 14 | 0 |
| 16 | Newington Reds | Dudley | 12 | 0 |
| 17 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 11 | 0 |
| 18 | Spartak Mogadishu | Abdi | 11 | 0 |
| 19 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 9 | 1 |
| 20 | Still Don’t Know Yet | Pete | 9 | 0 |
| 21 | Headless Chickens | John N | 7 | 0 |
| 22 | Dulwich Red Sox | Luke | 6 | 0 |
| 23 | PSV Mornington | El Pons | 5 | 0 |
| Points | Player | |||
| Player of the week | 12 | Caulker, S – CAR – DEF | ||
| Club | Rapids De Cullons CF |
