‘Matthew Falder blackmailed me into a Bramble’

A former Kenna League manager has claimed the notorious ‘dark web paedophile’ Matthew Falder forced him to sign the footballers who went on to derail his season.

Cambridge graduate Falder (pictured) was sentenced yesterday to 32 years in prison for manipulating dozens of victims online into performing humiliating and unspeakable acts.

The ex-Sleptember XI manager says Falder blackmailed him into signing the likes of Joe Hart, Marcus Rojo and Diego Costa at the Kenna League August auction.

He also claims Falder made him buy an illegal player to trigger the Titus Bramble forfeit ruling and start the campaign with Stan Collymore in attack.

Falder gained blackmail material after approaching the manager on the dark web under false pretences on the dark web.

According to the manager, he was duped into thinking Falder was a representative of Kenna HQ collecting information for the league’s private medical insurance scheme, and emailed nude photographs of himself as evidence of his hardihood.

“It was a living nightmare, and now I’ve seen all these other victims he’s abused I know it must have been him who was behind it. It explains so much,” said the ex-Sleptember manager in a press conference at his local Wetherspoon’s.

“I was at the summer auction watching rivals sign Harry Kane and Roberto Firmino, and Falder was messaging me saying ‘sign Fernando Llorente for at least £10m or I’ll post *those* photos on your club’s fan forum’.”

The manager bought Llorente for £14m and blames Falder for the huge loss he went on to make at the October transfer window when Sporting Lesbian snapped up the Spaniard for £0.5m.

Sleptember XI, 21st in the league at the time, sacked the manager shortly afterwards, installing Stan Collymore as interim.

The club is still 21st in the league.

In response to the claims, a statement from Kenna HQ read: “Opting in to the Kenna League private medical insurance scheme has never been easier. Just email your documents and supporting evidence to the manager experiences department.”

Krakow Cup – knockout fixtures

Draw to be broadcast live this weekend. Probably from a snooker club.

Last 16
First leg – 6 March
Second leg – 12 March

Quarter finals
First leg – 2 April
Second leg – 10 April

Semi finals
First leg – 24 April
Second leg – 1 May

Final
15 May

Kenna table – week 24

Full scores available from The Rub.

Kenna week 24 - 13 February 2018
Kenna week 24 – 13 February 2018

Kenna table – week 25

Kenna week 25 - 20 February 2018
Kenna week 25 – 20 February 2018
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