Lokomotiv steam into 2012

AK-47
Assault weapon: Titus Bramble

The momentum at Lokomotiv Leeds showed no sign of easing over the festive period.

The side’s midfield engine room came up trumps as Victor Moses, Rafael van der Vaart and Yaya Toure all netted, while Elliot Bennett picked up two assists.

However, it’s thought that Touré’s impending African duty could threaten the balance of the side.

“I do not know how it is going to work. I always said we could have a problem in January. Yaya is an important player for us,” platituded the Lokomotiv boss.

Meanwhile, Judean Peoples’ Front defender Titus Bramble faces a third $exual assault charge.

“This is ridiculous. You should never go out with a loaded weapon,” said an almost-too-relaxed looking JPF manager. “Why can’t the guy just whack off at home before hitting town?”

Weekly scores - 5 January 2012
Weekly scores - 5 January 2012
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Lokomotiv Leeds (first window)

Manager: Mr Ben Silver (ENG)

Since: 2011

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Leeds United

Foster, B WBA £4m
Skrtel, M LIV £18m
Samba, C BLR £9m
Simpson, D NEW £0.5m
Taylor, N SWA £0.5m
Bennett, E NOR £0.5m
Toure, Y MCY £16.5m
van der Vaart, R TOT £5m
Moses, V WIG £3m
Hernandez, J MUN £21m
Sturridge, D CHE £0.5m
£78.5m
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