Manager: Mr Ben Dudley (ENG)
Since: 2005 (founder member)
Trophy cabinet: empty
Polonia Forsyth has always been a team associated with grinding, but this week they finally ground into action.
Overwhelmed by the flair of Mario Balotelli, the Polonia manager was figuratively lit up like a Christmas tree in Sunday’s post-match interview.
“There’s always fireworks when Mario’s around,” she sighed. “He’s got a short fuse but really rose to the occasion. He can set fire to my towels any day.”
There was further welcome news for the Polonia boss this week, who decision to rest her star defender Vidic after his comeback from injury spared him a six-goal drubbing.
The club jettisoned deadwood Fabianski and Essien in the transfer window.
Rodallega also left the club, but was snapped up by third-placed Newington Reds.
Kenna HQ will publish updated transfer window team sheets this week.
Jim White being filmed arriving at the Sky Sports studios to take us to the big moment.
Footage of the Spartak Mogadishu manager making Carlos Tevez walk the plank while jabbing him in the back with a rocket-propelled grenade launcher.
A clip of the Polonia Forsyth manager in a chintz dressing gown waving off Hugo Rodallega at her front door.
These are just some of the images we’d like to bring you as the close of submissions for the first transfer window approaches at midday today.
Instead, because of copyright restrictions, all we can provide you with on this momentous occasion is an abstract photo representing what opportunities await as we peep through the window.
For some, transfer night will bring goals, assists, clean sheets and most importantly points to managers looking to press on over the winter period.
For most, Thursday night will end in despair, desparation and the big-money signing of a player you’d never heard of at the pre-season auction.
Find below a list of the top five players in each position not to be part of the Kenna yet this season.
Agbonlahor – 39 points
Adebayor – 35 points
Di Santo – 33 points
A Johnson – 31 points
Long – 31 points
Mata – 30 points
Pilkington – 27 points
Eagles – 25 points
B Johnson – 25 points
Diame – 23 points
P Jones – 37 points
A Williams – 29 points
S Taylor – 26 points
J Evans – 25 points
Vorm – 29 points
Begovic – 28 points
Krul – 26 points
Rudd – 7 points
Lindegaard – 6 points
Once all transfer submissions have been made, a full list of available players will be shared in the next two days.