Kenna club guide – Midlands and West

Immediately identify Kenna players in Midlands and West clubs: Aston Villa, Stoke, Swansea and West Brom.

Aston Villa

Given, S GK Dynamo Charlton £13m
Dunne, R DEF Greendale Rockets £3.5m
Hutton, A DEF Judean Peoples’ Front £0.5m
Warnock, S DEF Hairy Fadjeetas £2m
Holman, B MID Lokomotiv Leeds £0.5m
N’Zogbia, C MID Sporting Lesbian £6.5m
El Ahmadi, K MID Pikey Scum £3m
Ireland, S MID Woking £7m
Delph, F MID Northern Monkeys £7.5m
Agbonlahor, G STR PSV Mornington £7m
Bent, D STR Piedmonte £16m

Stoke

Sorensen, T GK Woking £4m
Wilson, M DEF Sporting Lesbian £2m
Huth, R DEF Pikey Scum £5m
Shawcross, R DEF Spartak Mogadishu £11m
Upson, M DEF Dynamo Charlton £2.5m
Delap, R MID PSV Mornington £0.5m
Pennant, J MID Vasco De Beauvoir £1m
Kightly, M MID Greendale Rockets £5m
Etherington, M MID Newington Reds £6m
Walters, J STR Lokomotiv Leeds £7m
Crouch, P STR FC Testicluadew £2m

Swansea

Taylor, N DEF Greendale Rockets £0.5m
Rangel, A DEF Newington Reds £3m
Williams, A DEF Hairy Fadjeetas £3.5m
Michu MID Sporting Lesbian £2.5m
Routledge, W MID Headless Chickens £1m
Britton, L MID Judean Peoples’ Front £0.5m
Sinclair, S MID FC Testicluadew £11m
Dyer, N MID Piedmonte £10m
Lita, L STR Vasco De Beauvoir £20m
Graham, D STR Dynamo Charlton £10m

West Brom

Foster, B GK Sporting Lesbian £6.5m
McAuley, G DEF Vasco De Beauvoir £0.5m
Olsson, J DEF Just put Carles £0.5m
Tamas, G DEF Woking £5.5m
Morrison, J MID Still Don’t Know Yet £2.5m
Brunt, C MID Pikey Scum £4m
Mulumbu, Y MID Newington Reds £1.5m
Lukaku, R STR Spartak Mogadishu £14m
Odemwingie, P STR Wandsworth Window Lickers £6m

London club guide

North west club guide

North east club guide

East and South club guide

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‘Incompetent and thoughtless’ JPF boss in leaked memo row

Cut loose
Cut loose: Ashley Williams is a free agent

Wales defender Ashley Williams has hit out at the Judean Peoples’ Front manager after details of an internal club memo were leaked to the media.

Williams, who was released by JPF ahead of this Friday’s transfer window, has taken exception to the heave ho and the contents of the memo written by the manager himself.

“I also have someone from Swansea – get rid of him.”

In the leaked communique the JPF boss says: “Could you remove the bloke that I have from QPR and Cleverly. I also have someone from Swansea – get rid of him.”

The £2.5m-rated defender, who has played every minute of the campaign so far this season, said: “If he can’t see that I’m giving my all week in week out, then he’s just incompetent and thoughtless.

“His man management skills are a shambles, that’s why the only person who’s playing well for him this season is Robin van Persie, and even he wants to leave.”

In his defence the JPF manager said: “It’s a case of sour grapes. The axe has swung and he needs to deal with it.”

Early indications are that suitors will be queuing up to sign Williams, with eight managers needing to fill holes in defence.

A full list of available players will be released by Friday morning.

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