Swedish dismay at Olisadebe visit

SWEDISH doormen were made to earn their crust last night as the Chairman’s party descended on their capital city.

Despite their impeccable manners, the prospect of two Englishmen wearing faux football shirts and pub crawl faces was too much for Stockholm: the delegation was ejected from three establishments and refused entry to many more.

In one particularly farcical incident, the pair were asked to leave a premises after a random Finn drained his glass, smashed it on the floor and went out for a cigarette.

“Sweden has a very liberal reputation, but in this case it was ill deserved. We faced discrimination at its basest level and were forced to watch each of the five goals in different bars,” said the Chairman this morning, while fighting a bitter war of attrition with a headache.

It was points o’clock in the Olisadebe as seven different players found the net yesterday, including Horn of Africa’s Andy Carroll.

“Yarrrr! He be a fine purchase,” said the Somali manager.

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Euro 2012 country guides – Group D

Immediately identify which Olisadebe players are taking part in Poland and Ukraine, with these useful country guides.

The guides do not include players not travelling to the tournament.

‘TB’ denotes forfeit player awarded under the Titus Bramble Ruling.

England

Hart, J GK Hoodyanika Bolokov £14m
Jones, P DF Just Put Warsaw £5m
Johnson, G DF Everybody Gdansk Now £7m
Cole, A DF Bwing on the Euwos £14m
Terry, J DF The Eurosceptics £11m
Young, A MF Utoya Island XI £26m
Downing, S (TB) MF Make Party £0.5m
Gerard, S MF Every Pole’s a Goal £20m
Walcott, T MF Chernobyl Forlov £5m
The Ox MF Testsiculadewland £0.5m
Carroll, A ST The Horn of Africa £12m

France

Lloris, H GK Every Pole’s a Goal £12m
Reveillere, A DF Make Party £0.5m
Rami, A DF Chernobyl Forlov £7m
Mexes, P DF Just Put Warsaw £8.5m
Evra, P DF Just FEMEN £9m
Ribery, F MF Bunga Bunga Euro Tour £21m
Debuchy, M MF Everybody Gdansk Now £0.5m
Nasri, S MF Utoya Island XI £16m
Malouda, F MF Don’t Know Yet £5m
Cabeye, Y MF The Eurosceptics £0.5m
Remy, L ST Hoodyanika Bolokov £0.5m
Ben Arfa, H ST Bwing on the Euwos £0.5m
Benzema, K ST Testsiculadewland £17m

Sweden

Safari, B DF Chernobyl Forlov £0.5m
Mellberg, O DF Everybody Gdansk Now £12m
Olsson, M DF The Horn of Africa £7.5m
Antonsson, M DF Utoya Island XI £0.5m
Larsson, S MF Bunga Bunga Euro Tour £8.5m
Elm , R MF Bwing on the Euwos £0.5m
I, Zlatan ST Testsiculadewland £20m
Elmander, J ST Just FEMEN £7m

Ukraine

Pyatov, A GK Don’t Know Yet £1m
Kucher, O DF Every Pole’s a Goal £0.5m
Husyev, O MF Hoodyanika Bolokov £0.5m
Konoplyanka, Y MF Testsiculadewland £0.5m
Shevchenko, A ST Make Party £5m

Group A

Group B

Group C

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