Tag: Vladimir Putin

The nerve

British security services have been placed on high alert after military-grade nerve agent was found in preparations for the Dmitri Kharine Russia World Cup auction.

The incident happened at the Fiddlers Harris training facility of Kenna League outfit Young Boys of Vauxhall. The club manager, and Kenna vice chairman, is ‘organising’ the June auction.

Several people in and around Fiddlers Harris were treated by paramedics. Emergency services are yet to confirm which of those was affected by the nerve agent and which were people thrown out of Vauxhall clubs with a barbiturates overdose.

The Young Boys manager was taken to hospital as a precaution. Initially doctors thought exposure to the toxic substance had left the manager with curious psychological side effects, but club officials confirmed he’d always been like that.

The attack has sparked a diplomatic row between the UK and Russia with diplomats expelled from both countries. Nevertheless, Number 10 and the Kremlin released a joint statement expressing relief the Dmitri Kharine auction is still set to go ahead.

Said to be planned for Tuesday 12 June, the Kharine auction will be the earliest in the working week since the Emmanuel Olisadebe Euros auction six years ago.

On that occasion in 2012 the Pirate resigned, tactical Brambling was born and managers almost came to blows.

 

Krakow Cup last 16 – second leg (last week)

AJFC 35 (74) – 44 (101) Walthamstow Reds
Bala Rinas 28 (32) – 24 (48) Young Boys
Lokomotiv Leeds 16 (55) – 25 (57) Thieving Magpies
Sleptember XI 18 (39) – 41 (76) Pikey Scum

Piss Poor 24 (54) – 18 (46) JPF
Dynamo Charlton 35 (62) – 37 (65) Wandsworth Network Solutions
Don’t Know Yet 35 (52) – 30 (64) The Pirate
No Fiesta without Iniesta 20 (59) – 34 (63) Burqini Pool Party

Quarter final fixtures – first leg on 2 April

Walthamstow Reds v Young Boys
Thieving Magpies v Pikey Scum
Piss Poor v Wandsworth Network Solutions
The Pirate v Don’t Know Yet

Kenna table – week 29

Kenna week 29 - 20 March 2018
Kenna week 29 – 20 March 2018

Kenna table – week 28

Kenna week 28 - 13 March 2018
Kenna week 28 – 13 March 2018

 

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FCT Putin the boot in

Vladimir Putin
On target: The Russian leader and the FC Testiculadew manager are wiping the floor with the opposition.

IMPERIAL aggression, hasty plebiscites in obscure lands and a Christian Benteke goal mean history looks to be repeating itself both in European geopolitics and the Kenna League.

Just as it turns out that inside every Ukrainian there’s an armed Russian wearing a balaclava just waiting to get out, so FC Testiculadew have emerged from the pack as favourites to lift the title.

Cup results - 25 March 2014
Canesten Combi Cup quarter final first leg results

Despite plenty of goals for Piedmonte (Long and Odemwingie) and Judean Peoples’ Front (Eriksen x2 and Rodriguez), the second and third place teams are being made to look like squabbling Western appeasers as ‘the villain of the Kenna‘ marches towards domination.

With just eight competitive weeks left, FCT’s impressive form and 28-point buffer means nothing short of World War Three will stop the manager claiming his second Kenna championship in three years.

Pikey Scum climbed into the top four, in no small part down to Newington Reds defender Kieran Gibbs being wrongfully dismissed on Saturday.

Whether the red card is rescinded remains to be seen, but Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain’s lucky escape has put KS West Green above Headless Chickens and Hairy Fadjeetas – both early front runners of the campaign whose managers now seem to have run out of ideas in the league.

The Chickens boss is left to focus his attention on the Canesten Combi Cup, where his side took a three-goal lead in the quarter final first leg at West Green.

FCT look set to annex a badly-organised and ill-equipped PSV Mornington in their tie, although unlike Vlad they’ll need two weekends rather than one.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DksSPZTZES0]

Kenna table

Kenna table week 29 - 25Mar14
Kenna table week 29 – 25Mar14

Weekly scores

Manager Points Goals
1 Just put Carles Carles 48 4
2 Judean Peoples Front Sholto 39 3
3 Headless Chickens John N 37 5
4 KS West Green Stix 37 2
5 Spartak Mogadishu Abdi 34 2
6 FC Testiculadew James N 33 1
7 Lokomotiv Leeds Ben S 32 2
8 Sporting Lesbian Ben M 31 1
9 Piedmonte Phil 30 2
10 Dulwich Red Sox Luke 29 4
11 This is Sparta…Prague Rich 26 3
12 Northern Monkeys Hugo 26 1
13 Pikey Scum Jack 26 1
14 Rapids De Cullons CF Jorge 24 1
15 Young Boys Denney 23 1
16 St. Reatham FC Mike 21 2
17 Team Panda Rules OK George 21 1
18 Dynamo Charlton Alex 20 0
19 Bala Rinas Lewis 15 1
20 Newington Reds Dudley 15 0
21 PSV Mornington El Pons 15 0
22 Hairy Fadjeetas Aiden 12 1
23 Still Don’t Know Yet Pete 4 0
Points Player
Player of the week 20 Suarez, L – LIV – STR
Club This is Sparta…Prague
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