Black Country ‘f-yow-ry’

FOUR football managers from Wolverhampton have filed a class action lawsuit against the Kenna League for alleged discrimination at last week’s transfer window.

Running the window auction on video conferencing for the first time in the history of the Kenna, the chairman kept mistaking which Black Country manager was bidding for players because ‘they all sound the same to me’.

‘Usually we’re in the pub and I can tell who’s who because of where they’re sitting and where the low sort-of-growly noise is coming from. Last Friday it was a wall of tiles on the screen,’ said the chairman this week.

The Wulfrunian managers were outraged, and have not accepted the chairman’s explanation, instead choosing to pursue legal action.

The Wolverhampton-born manager of Walthamstow Reds detailed exactly why they were taking this issue so seriously: ‘Yam yam yam. Yam yam yam. Yam yam just laayzy stereotoiping.

‘Yam yam yam. Yam yam yam. Yam yam hyowman roights infringement.’

The Thieving Magpies manager, another plaintiff, was clearly furious: ‘Yam yam yam. Yam yam yam. Yam yam don’t all sound the soime. It’s a disgroice.’

The Cowley Casuals boss told the Express and Star: ‘Yam yam yam. Yam yam yam. Yam yam soigned Benrahma not Royan Bertrand.’

The fourth Black Country manager to file the class action suit, the Bunch of Kuntz gaffer, is in his debut season in the Kenna. He added a touch of metaphor to his comment on the situation: ‘Yam yam yam. Yam yam yam. Yam yam Ebangks-Blaayke in Roileys on Broad Street.’

Covid Cup draw

Group A – Bala Rinas, The Dark Lord, Dynamo Charlton, Reds, Vice chairman

Group B – Pikey Scum, Pies, Casuals, Bunch of Kuntz, Daggers

Group C – Chairman’s XI, Clotted Cream, Test Team, Fadges, The Pirate

Group D – Piss Poor, TNS, Barry Town, Lokomotiv, Breivik

This weekend

Bala v Dark Lord
Dynamo v Reds
Scum v Pies
Casuals v Kuntz
Chairman v Cream
TT v Fadges
PP v TNS
Barry v Lokomotiv

Kenna League week 20

Full scores available from The Rub.

Kenna week 20 - 11 February 2021
Kenna week 20 – 11 February 2021
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Newington Reds

Manager: Dudley (Wolverhampton)

Twitter name: @dudleyben

Since: 2005 (co-founder and committee member – charts and graphs)

Trophy cabinet: Empty (best finish – second in 2005/06)

Last season: 3rd

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts music: Forever Young – Alphaville

Outlook: Fans of the club were resigned to the manager’s lack of silverware at this level, but after some competent signings at auction expectation is growing in N5. Light in midfield, but with the potential for goals from defence and up front, could this finally be their year?

No Brambles.

Howard, T EVE £8m
Samba, C QPR £17m
Vermaelen, T ARS £17m
Kolorov, A MCY £0.5m
Smalling, C MUN £0.5m
Sessegnon, S SUN £6.5m
Jarvis, M WHM £7.5m
Sissoko, M NEW £14m
Adam, C STO £0.5m
Sturridge, D LIV £43m
Long, S WBA £1.5m
 Total £116m

Second transfer window – 1 February 2013

Out     In
Skrtel, M LIV £17m Samba, C QPR £17m
Rangel, A SWA £3m Kolorov, A MCY £0.5m
Mulumbu, Y WBA £1.5m Sissoko, M NEW £14m
Torres, F CHE £37m Sturridge, D LIV £43m
Adebayor, E TOT £1m Long, S WBA £1.5m

First transfer window – 26 October 2012

Out     In
Nelsen, R QPR £0.5m Smalling, C MUN £0.5m
Etherington, M STO £6m Sessegnon, S SUN £6.5m
Miyaichi, R WIG £5.5m Jarvis, M WHM £7.5m
Milner, J MCY £0.5m Adam, C STO £0.5m
Dembele, M TOT £2.5m Adebayor, E TOT £1m
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