NOWHERE is the enterprise and work ethic of the Polish nation in more evidence than this lay-by 100 miles south of the Baltic coast.
Among the lakes and woodlands of Europe’s Great Northern Plain, this blurry lady patiently plies her trade for just, local knowledge maintains, 35 zlotys a time (£7).
While this roadside boudoir, which consists of a green, plastic garden chair for waiting and a forest for everything else, gives both the lonely and the lasivious a secluded liaison, it also offers the more unconventional, shovel-carrying punter plenty of options.
Kenna managers will be hoping that this Friday’s transfer window is just as open a hunting ground, but with up to £10m in bonuses for submitting players to be released by Wednesday’s 12pm deadline and just a handful of desirable footballers available, competition will be fierce.
With the unsigned, in-form talent likely to attract large sums of money, managers may be forced, like the lay-by lady, to focus their efforts mainly on journeymen.
Top-scoring unsigned players
Strikers: Kone, Wigan (39 points), Shane Long, West Brom (36 points), Petric, Fulham (28 points), Di Santo, Wigan (27 points), Ricardo Vaz Te, West Ham (27 points)
Midfielders: Damian Duff, Fulham (35 points), Kightly, Stoke (24 points), McAnuff, Reading (23 points), Kacaniklic, Fulham (23 points), Raheem Sterling, Liverpool (22 points)
Defenders: Reid, West Ham (38 points), Jenkinson, Arsenal (27 points), Mertesacker, Arsenal (25 points), Chris Baird, Fulham (24 points), Kolorov, Man City (22 points)
Goalkeepers: Begovic, Stoke (23 points), Mannone, Arsenal (19 points)
League table
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | PSV Mornington | El Pons | 34 | 4 |
| 2 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 31 | 1 |
| 3 | Just put Carles | Carles | 28 | 2 |
| 4 | Spartak Mogadishu | Abdi | 28 | 2 |
| 5 | Greendale Rockets | Stu | 26 | 3 |
| 6 | Northern Monkeys | Hugo | 26 | 2 |
| 7 | Still Don’t Know Yet | Pete | 22 | 1 |
| 8 | Sporting Lesbian | Ben M | 22 | 1 |
| 9 | Woking | Mike | 22 | 1 |
| 10 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 20 | 0 |
| 11 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 19 | 1 |
| 12 | Piedmonte | Phil | 19 | 0 |
| 13 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 18 | 0 |
| 14 | FC Testicluadew | James N | 18 | 0 |
| 15 | Newington Reds | Dudley | 17 | 0 |
| 16 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 16 | 2 |
| 17 | Judean Peoples’ Front | Sholto | 16 | 0 |
| 18 | Wandsworth Window Lickers | Will | 12 | 0 |
| 19 | Headless Chickens | John N | 11 | 0 |
| 20 | Vasco De Beauvoir | Stix | 6 | 0 |
| Points | Player | |||
| Player of the week | 15 | Mata, J – CHE – MID | ||
| Club | PSV Mornington |
