Young Boys of Vauxhall 2013/14

Denney
Don’t mention the war: The Young Boys manager

Manager: Denney (Wales)

Twitter name: @andenney

Since: 2006

Last season: Did not enter

Trohpy cabinet: Champions 2010/11, Canesten Combi Cup winners 2008/09

Sympathies: Spurs

Darts music: Gentle Ben theme

Outlook (on 26 August 2013): Returning after a season-long layoff to focus on defending the club’s ambiguous name to the probings of Operation Yewtree , the Young Boys manager has lost a lot of the luck that made him one of the successful ever entrants in the Kenna.

In a near-copycat predicament to the Spartak Mogadishu Luka Modric fiasco last summer, £25m signing Gareth Bale is all but set to move to sunnier climes, while dark clouds have gathered over £17m Nicolas Anelka, whose future even as a player hangs in the balance. There’s no more joy in the rest of team, where Vincent Kompany and Nathan Baker both face lengthy periods on the treatment table.

Known as ‘Gentle Den’ at the club for his patented arm-round-the-shoulder approach to teasing the best out of his team of Young Boys, the manager will have get to work quickly on the remaining members if he wants to put together a credible challenge this season:  Jonathan Walters has already started his campaign with a trademark missed penalty.

However, it’s common knowledge that behind the avuncular exterior lies a rigid disciplinarian, and come previous transfer windows those otherwise performing well have been culled for not meeting the manager’s unique demands, often to the detriment of the club’s title chances (this was sadly before the Kenna was so extensively chronicled on these pages).

For legal reasons, former players have always declined to speak of their experiences breaching the club’s strict code of conduct. Scotland Yard may have cleared him for now, but the Young Boys manager has never been able to shake the stories of cold showers, plastic cable ties and a scoutmaster’s uniform.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsaFjefpjJM&w=420&h=315]

Cech, P CHE £16m
Demichelis, M MCY £0.5m
Santon, D NEW £5m
Evra, P MUN £11m
Flanagan, J LIV £0.5m
Holtby, L FUL £0.5m
Brady, R HUL £1m
Ireland, S STO £0.5m
Delph, F AVL £0.5m
Adebayor, E TOT £14m
Traore, L EVE £0.5m
£50m

First transfer window – 5 October 2013

Starting budget: £11m, remaining budget: £14.5m, net profit: £2.5m

(Hyperlink denotes to which club players were sold)

Out In      
Pos Player Team Sold Pos Player Team Paid
DEF Kompany, V MCY £5m DEF De Michaelis, M MCY £0.5m
MID Bale, G RMA Free MID Redmond, N NOR £0.5m
MID Rosicky, T ARS Free MID Harris, R YEW £1.0m
MID Ramirez, G SOT £0.5m MID Townsend, A TOT £0.5m
STR Walters, J STO £0.5m STR Aluko, S HUL £0.5m

Second transfer window

Out In      
Pos Player Team Sold Pos Player Team Paid
DEF Baker, N AVL Free DEF Flanagan, J LIV £0.5m
MID Harris, R YEW Free MID Holtby, L FUL £0.5m
MID Townsend, A TOT £1.5m MID Brady, R HUL £1.0m
MID Kim CAR Free MID Ireland, S STO £0.5m
MID Redmond, N NOR £0.5m STR Delph, F AVL £0.5m
STR Anelka, N WBA Free STR Adebayor, E TOT £14m
STR Aluko, S HUL Free STR Traore, L EVE £0.5m
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London, United Kingdom

Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.