IT HAS never been remarked upon that any team won a top-level football league because they ‘transfer windowed well’.
In the brief hiatus between the end of the season in May and the start of the World Cup in June, whoever the winners are will be noted for their long-term strategy, the conviction instilled into the team by the manager and most of all their luck.
They may have signed a useful player in January who immediately gels with his teammates, but that will only be a footnote in the side’s chronicle of success.
The Kenna League takes pride in reflecting this particular nuance of modern football. In every Kenna season to date, the winning manager’s preparations in the summer, his approach to the auction, the core of team purchased therein and good fortune, has decided the campaign.
That’s not to say that transfer windows are obsolete, despite the Pikey Scum manager’s claim today that his Senderos/Jenkinson swap in the last window was like ‘rearranging the deckchairs the Titanic’. To remain competitive Kenna managers must ensure their peripheral players are making appearances – it’s little surprise that three of the bottom four managers didn’t attend the October window.
Transfer windows are as integral to the Kenna League manager as they are to the Premier League manager, but for the most part of the season they must both rely on the finite resources at their disposal.
Which is why other, much less exclusive fantasy football competitions have got it wrong.
If any manager wants to remind himself of the superiority of the Kenna all he needs to do is enter the ‘official’ Fantasy Premier League.
At this point it would easy to list the many faults of this contest, that everyone ends up with pretty much the same players in their team, the ridiculousness of picking a captain and vice captain each week, the folly and oversight of not giving prominence to manager darts entrance music, but the argument will be kept to one strain – transfers.
The season is one long transfer window. The manager is essentially picking his team from one squad of every player in the Premier League. No player is off limits. How does that mirror the game?
Of course, the banner advertising on each page hints at why the FPL wants ‘managers’ to keeping checking back on their selections for the upcoming week. The Kenna suffers from no such obstacle to improving manager experience, as the trifling amount of visits to these pages testify.
But satisfying sponsors at the expense of sophistication is nothing compared to FPL’s single biggest foible.
The crucial period of the FPL manager’s week is time between Friday morning and Saturday lunchtime, between squads being announced for the weekend’s fixtures and the cut off point for making changes to your team.
So why does the chairman kick himself every week five minutes into the Saturday early game on the Kenna HQ kitchen radio? Because for any self-respecting Kenna manager this 36-hour ‘transfer window’ is dedicated to planning, executing and recovering from a Friday evening’s entertainment after the working week.
Almost exactly a third of the way through the season it’s a welcome reminder of why the Kenna was founded, and why the preferred time for the next Kenna transfer window is a Friday night.
It’s also the best way to explain why the chairman is bottom of every FPL league he’s entered.
Canesten Combi Cup – group stage standings after two match weeks
Kenna table
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 37 | 2 |
| 2 | KS West Green | Stix | 37 | 2 |
| 3 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 31 | 1 |
| 4 | Young Boys | Denney | 30 | 2 |
| 5 | Newington Reds | Dudley | 30 | 1 |
| 6 | Team Panda Rules OK | George | 28 | 3 |
| 7 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 28 | 1 |
| 8 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 26 | 2 |
| 9 | This is Sparta…Prague | Rich | 26 | 3 |
| 10 | Dulwich Red Sox | Luke | 20 | 1 |
| 11 | Rapids De Cullons CF | Jorge | 20 | 1 |
| 12 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 19 | 0 |
| 13 | Northern Monkeys | Hugo | 19 | 0 |
| 14 | FC Testiculadew | James N | 18 | 2 |
| 15 | St. Reatham FC | Mike | 17 | 1 |
| 16 | Just put Carles | Carles | 16 | 0 |
| 17 | Headless Chickens | John N | 15 | 0 |
| 18 | Judean Peoples Front | Sholto | 15 | 0 |
| 19 | Piedmonte | Phil | 15 | 0 |
| 20 | PSV Mornington | El Pons | 13 | 1 |
| 21 | Sporting Lesbian | Ben M | 13 | 1 |
| 22 | Still Don’t Know Yet | Pete | 13 | 1 |
| 23 | Spartak Mogadishu | Abdi | 7 | 0 |
| Points | Player | |||
| Player of the week | 15 | Lampard, F – CHE – MID | ||
| Club | Dynamo Charlton |
