THE Kenna league chairman stands accused of totalitarianism over changes to cup regulations.
The incident started when the first round results of last week’s Canesten Combi Cup sparked angry complaints from the Young Boys of Vauxhall manager, who thought the cup ties were still decided on points scored in a competitive week.
Cup rules were amended by Kenna HQ at the beginning of last season so that goals scored rather than points would decide the result between two opposing teams.
The new arrangements made it easier for managers to follow their team’s progress over the weekend. At the time the move was widely praised in the media as a masterstroke of the chairman’s administrative acumen.
The Young Boys manager, who didn’t enter last term’s Kenna for suspicious reasons thought to be counter-revolutionary, said: “This is ridiculous. When did this rule change? What a joke changing it to goals. What’s next? Why don’t we have a cup based on assists or clean sheets or yellow cards?
“This is symptomatic of a Kenna leadership which becomes more and more authoritarian with every season. He treats the league like his own personal fiefdom, making up rules to suit his team whenever it suits and punishing managers on a whim. Why do you think he founded the manager experiences department? It’s just a pseudo secret police unit to use as a means to control the docile management in the league.”
Reacting to the defamatory and provocative comments made by the Young Boys manager, the chairman retained the munificence and wisdom that has so often been characteristic of his time in office.
He said: “The Young Boys manager is free to air his views about cup regulations and I would be very keen to hear his thoughts face to face. I’ve arranged for representatives from our manager experiences department to collect the manager from his home and bring him here for questioni….further dialogue.”
League table
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | Piedmonte | Phil | 49 | 2 |
| 2 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 33 | 2 |
| 3 | Dulwich Red Sox | Luke | 32 | 1 |
| 4 | Still Don’t Know Yet | Pete | 30 | 3 |
| 5 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 29 | 1 |
| 6 | Sporting Lesbian | Ben M | 29 | 1 |
| 7 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 28 | 1 |
| 8 | Judean Peoples Front | Sholto | 28 | 1 |
| 9 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 26 | 1 |
| 10 | Team Panda Rules OK | George | 26 | 0 |
| 11 | Young Boys | Denney | 24 | 0 |
| 12 | Headless Chickens | John N | 23 | 1 |
| 13 | Just put Carles | Carles | 21 | 0 |
| 14 | FC Testiculadew | James N | 19 | 0 |
| 15 | KS West Green | Stix | 18 | 0 |
| 16 | Newington Reds | Dudley | 17 | 1 |
| 17 | St. Reatham FC | Mike | 17 | 1 |
| 18 | This is Sparta…Prague | Rich | 15 | 2 |
| 19 | Spartak Mogadishu | Abdi | 15 | 1 |
| 20 | Northern Monkeys | Hugo | 13 | 1 |
| 21 | Rapids De Cullons CF | Jorge | 12 | 0 |
| 22 | PSV Mornington | El Pons | 10 | 1 |
| 23 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 8 | 0 |
| Points | Player | |||
| Player of the week | 15 | Suarez, L – LIV – STR | ||
| Club | This is Sparta…Prague |
