DURING the final stage of the Tour de France it’s customary for the cyclist wearing the yellow jersey to toast his journey into Paris with a glass of champagne.
Even though there are still 100 or so kilometres to go at the start of the day, a challenge for the top spot in cycling on such a flat leg is considered over after a month of punishing mountains, gruelling time trials and simple French country folk. It’s also considered ungentlemanly.
Ironic then that the man who killed the chivalrous spirit of the Kenna by discovering the sharp practice of tactical Brambling finds himself in a similar champagne finish in the league this week as his team march inexorably towards the elysian fields of an unprecedented second Kenna double.
A goal from Juan Mata and two from the irrepressible Edin Dzeko saw FC Testiculadew beat Northern Monkeys 3-2 in the Canesten Combi Cup final this week. FCT now only have one more match to negotiate until adding the league title to a groaning club trophy cabinet.
Barring an unlikely 12 goals on Saturday from second-placed Piedmonte‘s Shane Long, the FCT manager will pick up two Kenna doubles in three seasons, potentially making him the most successful Kenna boss of all time.
Agonisingly for the Piedmonte manager, the fact remains that getting rid of Samir Nasri at the February transfer window cost him the league.
In the battle for third, the league treasurer’s team Bala Rinas are putting in a sprint finish to stake a claim over rival Welshman the Judean Peoples’ Front manager.
JPF were in the top three for 13 weeks until now, but are in danger of dropping even further down the table if Team Panda Rules OK striker Olivier Giroud can continue his streak this weekend, or in the remote chance Ahmed Elmohamady and Laurent Koscielny have the game of their lives for Pikey Scum.
In the jostle of the peloton no amount of substance abuse will make the season anything but an exercise in mediocrity.
Bringing up the rear in Bramble Jerseys, the bottom three found themselves aching and tangled in a barbed wire fence on a rural roadside in the Auvergne sometime ago. P45s await, or in one case was an early Christmas present.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vym3HNLDkIc]
Kenna table
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | Still Don’t Know Yet | Pete | 55 | 6 |
| 2 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 47 | 3 |
| 3 | FC Testiculadew | James N | 37 | 3 |
| 4 | St. Reatham FC | Mike | 36 | 2 |
| 5 | Newington Reds | Dudley | 36 | 0 |
| 6 | Sporting Lesbian | Ben M | 33 | 0 |
| 7 | Team Panda Rules OK | George | 32 | 0 |
| 8 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 31 | 2 |
| 9 | Just put Carles | Carles | 31 | 1 |
| 10 | Piedmonte | Phil | 31 | 0 |
| 11 | Headless Chickens | John N | 29 | 1 |
| 12 | Northern Monkeys | Hugo | 28 | 2 |
| 13 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 28 | 1 |
| 14 | Young Boys | Denney | 28 | 1 |
| 15 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 26 | 0 |
| 16 | Spartak Mogadishu | Abdi | 24 | 0 |
| 17 | KS West Green | Stix | 20 | 1 |
| 18 | Rapids De Cullons CF | Jorge | 18 | 0 |
| 19 | Judean Peoples Front | Sholto | 17 | 0 |
| 20 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 16 | 1 |
| 21 | PSV Mornington | El Pons | 14 | 1 |
| 22 | Dulwich Red Sox | Luke | 10 | 0 |
| 23 | This is Sparta…Prague | Rich | 6 | 0 |
| Points | Player | |||
| Player of the week | 18 | Zabaleta, P – MCY – DEF | ||
| Club | Dynamo Charlton |
Situation among separatists in Ukraine right now very similar to Judean People’s Front / People’s Front of Judea joke from Life of Brian…