CASTING around for a pub for Saturday’s Kenna transfer window, league blazers found a previous auction venue had rebranded.
It was worthy of note only because The Golden Fleece in the City of London, which now belongs to the Metropolitan Pub Company, hosted the August 2012 auction scene of the infamous ‘Bramble Hour’. More of that later.
The Metropolitan Pub Company also runs the Kings Stores, a back street boozer in Spitalfields where managers congregated for Saturday’s second and final window of the Kenna League season.
The pub proved to be an excellent venue, but it wasn’t the interesting range of beers or smart decor that most remarkable. The table service available to the 10 managers gathered was superb.
The man on duty Tumi was attentive and friendly, always on hand to take a drinks order and keeping up with everyone’s individual tabs, all while rendering the same care to other patrons.
Service of this sort was thought to have died with the Victorian era, but the gaggles of passing Jack The Ripper tourists could well have marvelled that like beery conversations between Londoners in narrow thoroughfares outside buzzing pubs, this heritage survives into the 21st Century.
A Kenna tradition in no danger of being scotched is the transfer window turning into a farce after a couple of hours. The steady flow of craft lager did not disappoint.
Just as the summer 2012 auction saw 60 treacherous minutes of managers falling over the Titus Bramble forfeit ruling after a few drinks, Saturday saw two relegation-embroiled sides suffer from all sorts of recklessness.
Going into the window to make a record 10 changes to his side, the Fat Ladies manager even contrived to lose his one remaining player – and only decent one at that – Daniel Sturridge.
After watching the north London derby followed by three hours of transfer activity, the exact events are hazy. Nevertheless, a clear memory remains of the Fat Ladies labouring under the assumption Jonathan Walters was a midfielder, buying one striker too many and ending with a forfeit player.
So called ‘Bramble players’ are chosen as much for their current affairs status as for their inability to add any value to a club. For this window the outgoing members of Rotherham Council and convicted deviant Paul Gadd were being doled out to errant managers.
At the foot of the table, the Hoxton Pirates manager’s last chance of salvation was beached when he ended the night with two northern councillors and the former rock star numbered among his ranks.
Like the quality of the pub itself, the Pirates manager’s protest and the debate to follow therein will live long in the memory of all managers present. Gary Glitter: midfielder or defender?
All new signings will begin scoring from tonight. For a full roundup of the weekend’s scores download The Rub.
Kenna table – week 23 of 37
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | Sporting Lesbian | Ben M | 35 | 1 |
| 2 | Cowley Casuals | Stu | 35 | 1 |
| 3 | St Reatham FC | Mike | 34 | 1 |
| 4 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 31 | 2 |
| 5 | Walthamstow Reds | Dudley | 29 | 1 |
| 6 | FC Tescticuladew | James N | 27 | 1 |
| 7 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 26 | 1 |
| 8 | Judean People’s Front | Sholto | 23 | 0 |
| 9 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 22 | 1 |
| 10 | Team Panda Rules OK | George | 21 | 0 |
| 11 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 20 | 1 |
| 12 | Piedmonte | Phil | 20 | 0 |
| 13 | Hoxton Pirates | Abdi | 19 | 0 |
| 14 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 17 | 0 |
| 15 | Fat Ladies | Ted | 17 | 0 |
| 16 | KS West Green | Stix | 15 | 1 |
| 17 | Still Don’t Know Yet | Pete | 14 | 0 |
| 18 | Just Put Carles | Carles | 13 | 0 |
| 19 | Headless Chickens | John N | 12 | 0 |
| 20 | Young Boys | Denney | 7 | 0 |
| Points | Player | |||
| Player of the week | 13 | Blind, D – MUN – DEF | ||
| Club | FC Tescticuladew |
