SILVERWARE has always been the preferred method of measuring glory in football.
Fantasy football is no different. Cups, trophies, titles, vases and manager of the month awards are the traditional currency of success, but in leagues where managers come and go is the amount of butler’s elbow grease required the best yardstick of achievement?
Managers who have kicked around a league for years may have won spoils early in their career when the league was more intimate before fading in the face of newer, more dynamic competition and greater numbers of challengers.
As entrants gather for tomorrow’s 11th annual Kenna League auction in a pub on Farringdon Road, they may well wonder if there’s a scientific mechanism for deciding who is most likely to finish where come May.
Luckily, there now is! The Kenna Index.
By turning each manager’s final league position into a fraction, adding those fractions together and dividing the total by the number of campaigns in which they’ve competed, Kenna HQ can accurately predict a manager’s most likely finishing place.
It’s not surprise to see the Tactical Brambler (James N) topping the stats. He’s won the league twice, and ended 10th and 7th in another two seasons.
Two titles in three years puts the Sporting Lesbian manager (Ben M) close second. In a league of 20, both managers would be expected – on form – to finish in the top two spots.
The Lokomotiv Leeds boss (Ben S) is the highest ranked manager to have not won any silverware. The Walthamstow Reds boss (Dudley) is the most consistent of everyone to compete in all 10 seasons, and the best Wulfrunian.
The Young Boys manager (Denney) is the highest ranked Welshman. The Just Put Carles manager (Carles) the highest Catalan.
At the other end, the former Still Don’t Know Yet manager (Pete) is the least successful of those competing tomorrow. In three campaigns he’s never finished higher than 14th and in May the club was finally put out of its misery and relegated.
Most importantly, the Kenna Index provides evidence of the most mid-table manager. Dynamo Temple may not have competed in the league for five years, but in those first six seasons the manager (Yellboy) has put down a marker of mediocrity that will be hard to beat for some time.
The Kenna Index
|
Kenna Index |
|
|
James N (4) |
0.137 |
|
Ben M (3) |
0.149 |
|
Ben S (3) |
0.294 |
|
Denney (7) |
0.3 |
|
Dudley (10) |
0.4 |
|
Sholto (6) |
0.411 |
|
Lewis (5) |
0.47 |
|
Stix (10) |
0.48 |
|
Higgin (4) |
0.487 |
|
Yellboy (6) |
0.501 |
|
Phil (10) |
0.519 |
|
Jack (9) |
0.564 |
|
Aiden (4) |
0.576 |
|
Will Y (3) |
0.583 |
|
Helen (4) |
0.583 |
|
Carles (5) |
0.604 |
|
Ted (6) |
0.614 |
|
Seares (4) |
0.616 |
|
Alex (4) |
0.627 |
|
John N (4) |
0.641 |
|
Mike (3) |
0.643 |
|
Abdi (5) |
0.68 |
|
El Pons (5) |
0.755 |
|
Pete (3) |
0.78 |
|
Clare (3) |
0.784 |
