Year: 2015

Bala Rinas made a clear statement in the early Kenna stakes with a brace from Graziano Pelle this week.

They were Pelle’s third and fourth goals this season. Not bad for someone who had all the hallmarks of a one-season wonder last year.

The lanky Italian and his lank hair were part of the phenomenon on the south coast which took everyone by surprise. Surely, no one thought it could continue, but either the Bala Rinas manager or his auction second had other ideas and the £15m investment is already paying dividends.

The Sporting Lesbian manager paid just £3m for the striker last summer when he was an unknown import. Quite whether Pelle will go on to replicate the form that saw him pick up 169 points and help Sporting Lesbian win the league is anyone’s guess and the treasurer’s hope.

It’s not the first time Sporting Lesbian have plucked a star from obscurity. In summer 2012, the manager snaffled Michu for just £2.5m.

Like Pelle last season, the Spaniard picked up 169 points and helped Sporting to the title. Spooky.

Michu could not keep it up. The following season he picked up just two goals and a handful of appearance points before disappearing from these shores altogether. It all made the Headless Chickens manager’s £27m auction transaction look a little foolish.

To find another such example of one-season wonder one must go back to the 2007-08 Kenna campaign.

Vasco De Beauvoir, the Kenna chairman‘s team, signed Roque Santa Cruz for £12m in the first transfer window, back then held in mid November.

It was a welcome change for the manager, who through some error of judgement at the auction fell foul of the Titus Bramble ruling. Vasco played the first three months of the campaign with Lee Dong Gook in attack.

The Korean striker’s contribution was more than eclipsed by the Paraguayan’s. Roque went on to score 145 points for Vasco and was instrumental in the chairman picking up December’s manager of the month award.

Vasco finished seventh that May, which three months later was enough evidence for manager of Matty Taylor’s Titans (now in charge of Young Boys) to fork out £10m for Santa Cruz.

Partnered alongside Afonso Alves in attack, Roque didn’t last beyond the November window where he was released in favour of a £35m Robinho. Titans won the Canestan Combi Cup and finished third in the league.

So what’s the moral of the story?

When you release your Dong make sure it’s into the jaws of obscurity, rather than those of dead pig.

Kenna table – week 6

Weekly scores

THE Bala Rinas manager has been arrested on suspicion of sabotaging the David De Gea deal.

Wearing black balaclava, action jacket, combat trousers and toy night vision goggles, the Bala Rinas manager, who is also Kenna League treasurer, was stopped by security trying to sneak out of Fifa’s Zurich HQ with a pair of wire cutters.

Twenty minutes of interrogation and fondue in a Swiss police station were enough to break down the Bala manager, who admitted to subverting the deal in an attempt to keep the Spanish goalkeeper in with a chance of Kenna appearances.

The treasurer remains in cantonal police custody, where he was informed of his rights and his defender Jolean Lescott’s move from West Brom to Aston Villa.

The Walthamstow Reds boss was left light up top as a transfer failed to materialise for speculative auction signing Charlie Austin.

Reds must scrape through to the October window with just Bojan in attack, who is yet to enter the field of play this season. It’s unlikely the manager will recuperate the £13m paid for Austin. Or indeed the £2m for Bojan.

Elsewhere, Just Put Carles are now without the services of American midfielder Bradley Johnson.

The only winners this August were the Young Boys manager, whose canny snaffling of Pedro helped the side to second in the table, and the Dynamo Charlton manager who collects the campaign’s first Manager of the Month award.

Kenna table – week 4

Weekly scores