ENTRANTS to a fantasy football Euro 2016 auction should turn up in replica football shirts celebrating the competition, it was announced today.
At a press conference this morning, organisers of the Jean-Alain Boumsong Euros auction said managers should wear shirts ‘recognising players and teams who have enhanced our experience of the European Cup’.
“As for my shirt, for me, when I think of Germany winning the Euros in England 20 years ago, I think Kuntz,” the chairman told stunned journalists.
The comment was part explained when the chairman unveiled the shirt he would be wearing to the auction in early June: the number 11 Stefan Kuntz Germany shirt from Euro 96.
“Everyone has a Kuntz,” he went on oblivious. “A player, a team, a moment which has shaped their memories of the competition.
“You say to me: van Basten’s volley, Poborsky’s scoop, Zidane’s control, Gazza’s magic, Villa’s hat trick, Zlatan’s flick, Pirlo’s pinpoint accuracy, Figo’s comeback and Suker’s lob.
“And I say to you: Dutch Kuntz, Czech Kuntz, French Kuntz, English, Kuntz, Spanish Kuntz, Swedish Kuntz, Italian Kuntz, Portuguese Kuntz and Croatian Kuntz.”
When one reporter asked if managers at the auction – decked out in all these different football shirts – would end up looking like ‘a bunch of Kuntz’, the chairman looked slightly bemused.
“Well, that’s a pretty crude way of putting it, but yes, I suppose in that sense they will,” he replied, warming to the analogy. “But not a bunch of Kuntz, I’d say it’ll be more like a festival or carnival of Kuntz.”
Taking place on the evening of Friday 10 June at the Hoop and Grapes on Farringdon Road, the Boumsong auction will see up to 20 managers battling it out to sign their eleven players for the tournament.
Managers can only sign one player of each nationality. They will have the added challenge of the opening match of the tournament France v Romania being played on television at the same.
In the domestic league this week, Andros Townsend and Jermaine Defoe both found the net to help Walthamstow Reds cut Young Boys‘ lead by another eight points to 38.
Kenna table – week 35
Full scores available from The Rub.
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | Cowley Casuals | Stu | 39 | 3 |
| 2 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 39 | 0 |
| 3 | Northern Monkeys | Hugo | 36 | 4 |
| 4 | Newington Reds | Ben D | 31 | 2 |
| 5 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 29 | 2 |
| 6 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 27 | 2 |
| 7 | Uncertain | Pete B | 24 | 3 |
| 8 | Headless Chickens | John N | 24 | 1 |
| 9 | FC Tescticuladew | James N | 24 | 1 |
| 10 | Young Boys | Andrew D | 23 | 1 |
| 11 | Thieving Magpies | Phil | 22 | 2 |
| 12 | Wandsworth Network Solutions | Will | 21 | 1 |
| 13 | Carles | Carles | 18 | 1 |
| 14 | ISIL | Abdi | 17 | 2 |
| 15 | KS West Green | Stix | 17 | 1 |
| 16 | Judean People’s Front | Sholto | 15 | 0 |
| 17 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 13 | 0 |
| 18 | Team Panda | George | 13 | 0 |
| 19 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 7 | 0 |
| Points | Player | |||
| Player of the week | 17 | Mane, S – SOT – MID | ||
| Club | Cowley Casuals | |||
