Barco FC

Manager: Jorge

Nationality: L’Espingouin

International honours: none

Formation: 3-4-3

Courtois, T BEL £14m
Hummels, M GER £14m
Pekarik, P SVK £4m
Schar, F SUI £2m
Modric, L CRO £13m
Sterling, R ENG £11m
Quaresma, R POT £6m
Krychowiak, G POL £2m
Pelle, G ITA £10m
Ibrahimovic, Z SWE £18m
Aduriz, A ESP £6m
£100m
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Dulwich Red Sox

Manager: Luke

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: none

Formation: 3-4-3

Mignolet, S BEL £0.5m
Barzagli, A ITA £0.5m
Dragovic, A AUT £0.5m
Mangala, E FRA £0.5m
Johnson, A* HMP Leeds £10m
Sanches, R POT £0.5m
Shirokov, R RUS £0.5m
Silva, D ESP £22m
Sturridge, D ENG £13m
Stancu, B RMN £3m
Podolski, L GER £0.5m
£51.5m

*Given the opportunity to pay for a lucky dip of Zlatan, Ronaldo and Adam Johnson, the manager paid £10 of his budget only to draw the latter.

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Wandsworth Window Lickers

Manager: Will

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: none

Formation: 4-4-2

de Gea, D ESP £3m
Chester, J WAL £10m
Kaderabek, P CZE £1m
Boateng, J GER £14m
Prodl, S AUT £1m
Coman, K FRA £11m
Moutinho, J POT £9m
Florenzi, A ITA £2m
Nainggolan, R BEL £0.5m
Vardy, J ENG £17m
Mandzukic, M CRO £11m
£79.5m
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Napoleon Dynorod

Manager: Stix (the chairman)

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: 2010 Dr Khumalo World Cup champions

Formation: 5-4-1

Hart, J ENG £9m
Limbersky, D CZE £5m
Sagna, B FRA £9m
Pepe POT £5m
Djourou, J SUI £3m
Juanfran ESP £15m
Kroos, T GER £15m
Larsson, S SWE £0.5m
Calhanoglu, H TUR £10m
Klein, F AUT £0.5m
Kalinic, N CRO £0.5m
£72.5m
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Blame Canada

Manager: Dudley

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: none

Formation: 4-3-3

Buffon, G ITA £12m
Alba, J ESP £17m
Walker, K ENG £10m
Evra, P FRA £11m
Alves, B POT £0.5m
Alaba, D AUT £11m
Ozil, M GER £25m
Konoplyanka, Y UKR £1m
Yilmaz, B TUR £1m
Milik, A POL £11m
Mehmedi, A SUI £0.5m
£100m
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Former Yugoslav Republic of Leeds

Manager: Ben S

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: none

Formation: 4-5-1

Akinfeev, I RUS £5m
Srna, D CRO £7m
Darmian, M ITA £11m
Ramos, S ESP £16m
Guerreiro, R POT £0.5m
Arnautovic, M AUT £12m
Pogba, P FRA £23m
Mertens, D BEL £12m
Draxler, J GER £7m
Xhaka, G SUI £0.5m
Ward, J NIR £0.5m
£94.5m
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Democratic Republic of Young Boys

Manager: Denney

Nationality: Le Moutons Baiseur

International honours: none

Formation: 3-4-3

Casillas, I ESP £10m
Bonucci, L ITA £15m
Denayer, J BEL £1m
Rat, R RMN £0.5m
Blaszczykowski, J POL £3m
Schweinsteiger, B GER £0.5m
Mario, J POT £0.5m
Harnik, M AUT £0.5m
Rooney, W ENG £29m
Giroud, O FRA £34m
Nemec, A SVK £0.5m
£94.5m
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Asturias FC

Manager: Kike

Nationality: L’Espingouin

International honours: none

Formation: 3-5-2

Patricio, R POT £11m
Koscielny, L FRA £17m
De Sciglio, M ITA £10m
Sivok, T CZE £0.5m
Rakitic, I CRO £16m
Gotze, M GER £16m
Dier, E ENG £0.5m
Okotie, R AUT £0.5m
McCarthy, J IRL £5m
Origi, D BEL £1m
Nolito ESP £20m
£97.5m
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FC TesticuladewLand

Manager: James N

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: 2014 Emerson World Cup champions

Formation: 3-4-3

Neuer, M GER £16m
Cahill, G ENG £5m
Corluka, V CRO £0.5m
Piszczek, L POL £0.5m
Turan, A TUR £8m
Alcantara, T ESP £13m
Dzsudzsak, B HUN £0.5m
Kucka, J SVK £0.5m
Lukaku, R BEL £25m
Yarmolenko, A UKR £5m
Griezmann, A FRA £19m
£93m
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Up Yours Delors

Manager: Jack

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: 2006 Claudio Canniggia World Champions

Formation: 4-4-2

Cech, P CZE £9m
Pique, G ESP £18m
Vertonghen, J BEL £10m
Glik, K POL £5m
Rami, A FRA £20m
Nani POT £13m
De Rossi, D ITA £1m
Lallana, A ENG £10m
Edwards, D WAL £10m
Walters, J IRL £0.5m
Seferovic, H SUI £3m
£99.5m

 

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