The Kenna League has warned against football talent being drawn to Chinese wealth after the chairman bumped into a manager travelling to the Far East end of the Jubilee Line.
The encounter happened in the Friday morning rush hour when a furtive Lokomotiv Leeds manager was spotted by the chairman at Canary Wharf.
The Lokomotiv boss was forced to make a shifty admission he was ‘going all the way to Stratford’.
By lunchtime Kenna HQ had issued a explosive press release entitled ‘Lured to the Riches of The Orient’, and packed with provocative, xenophobic, racially-aggravated jingoism such as ‘The Yellow Terror’, ‘The legacy of Fu Manchu’ and ‘Brexit means Brexit’.
“The enormous wealth of China is leading to a ‘Sino-The Dotted Line Mentality’ and is the biggest challenge to London pub-based fantasy football since the 2006 smoking ban,” read the release, which claimed Kenna HQ is now on ‘Yellow Alert’.
Astronomical wages in the Chinese Super League has thrown preparations for the second Kenna transfer window next month into disarray
This weekend saw Islington Sports Islam & Leisure striker Diego Costa compound his manager’s problems by being unavailable for selection until interest from Asia is resolved.
The chairman’s own team, Adam Johnson Fan Club, has been left with a hole in midfield since Oscar moved to China in an audacious £60m deal.
It is widely believed this move has got the league apparatus in a particular paddy over the Lokomotiv manager’s oriental tube ride.
But Lokomotiv Leeds supporters have welcomed a move abroad for their manager, and questioned the Kenna’s description of him as ‘football talent’.
The editor of fan blog BellendRurdFurrever.com tweeted: “Lokomotiv Leeds? More like Special Leeds! 14th last season, 16th today. Couldn’t give a Peking duck where he goes #SackTheJew”.
Kenna League table week 20
Full scores available from The Rub.
