NEIL Diamond is set to sue the Kenna League after footage emerged of Kenna managers allegedly murdering one of his songs.
The grainy video is believed to have been shot outside the Hoop & Grapes on Farringdon Road after last Friday’s first Kenna transfer window.
Diamond is understood to have instructed his lawyers, less than impressed with a group of inebriated, tone-deaf men trying to remember the words to Sweet Caroline.
‘They’re putting in a sack with some rocks and dead kittens and throwing it in a canal,’ said Diamond in a statement. ‘I didn’t create this music for it to be treated with such barbarism.’
Kenna HQ denies any wrongdoing in the incident, claiming the tuneless ditty was started by a passer by.
‘We emerged from the window to find a strange man on the street cajoling us into some Diamond,’ the Kenna chairman told police.
‘At the risk of appearing impolite, or of this weirdo kicking off, managers – who may have been drinking alcohol, although I did not witness it personally – joined in the song.’
It was not the first stranger of the night to approach Kenna managers.
Earlier in the evening a man interrupted the transfer window with what he believed to be sage advice.
‘Don’t ever care about the pigs you’re not allowed to talk about something might burn yourself,’ he oracled before wondering off in the direction of the bar.
In spite of these encounters with London’s underbelly, the transfer window was completed in record time.
Moneybags club Dynamo Charlton made the most expensive signing of the window, £32m on midfielder Richarlison.
Piss Poor met the extraordinary buyout clause to poach Alexis Sanchez from Islington Sports Islam & Leisure for £22m.
The Pirate used the additional booty to sign defender Stephen Ward for £22m and striker Tomer Hemed for £19m.
