THE only Somali manager in a London-pub based fantasy football league says he ‘reserves the right’ to share the spoils of pillage from the high seas after the Kenna League questioned the arrangement.
The Islington Sports Islam & Leisure manager said he gives the team ‘some booty or the like’ if they win, otherwise they’ve got to plunder their own loot.
The Kenna League has ‘demanded an explanation’ from The Pirates manager since the package isn’t part of the standard player contract.
“Sometimes when we win I’ll give the lads a bottle o’ rum and some gold doubloons. If they lose they’ve got to buy their own rocket-propelled grenades, get on a skiff and put to sea,” said the ISIL manager outside the club’s Spyglass Hill training facility.
“Now I’ve received a letter from Kenna League blazers asking why I don’t share treasure with the crew when we lose.
“We’ve just been knocked out the Krakow Cup and instead of turning my attentions to keeping us out of the relegation zone I’ve now got to kidnap eleven tourists for my players to ransom.”
Krakow Cup – quarter final second leg results
Walthamstow Reds 40 (69) – 15 (35) Young Boys
Thieving Magpies 16 (40) – 19 (43) Pikey Scum
Piss Poor 23 (57) – 27 (65) Wandsworth Network Solutions
The Pirate 16 (39) – 22 (51) Don’t Know Yet
Semi finals first leg – 24 April
Walthamstow Reds v Pikey Scum
WNS v Don’t Know Yet
Kenna League – week 31
Full scores available from The Rub.
