DYNAMO Charlton have given up hope of winning a second consecutive Kenna League title after police found remains in a Kent woodland.
Police chief Desdemona Johnson said it will take time for formal identification and added this was “every Kenna manager’s worst nightmare.”
The Dynamo manager reported his championship defence as missing last week, but many claim it was gone the moment he signed Sebastian Haller at the pre-season auction in September last year.
Dynamo dropped to 10th place in the league this week, but there is a glimmer of silverware as they sit second in the Covid Cup group A with a game to play.
However, their final group-stage tie is against Bala Rinas who presently sit 200 points above Dynamo at the top of the Kenna League table.
KENNA League managers have all been assigned lookalikes after a gang turned up at Kenna HQ and assaulted the chairman with soggy marine life.
The incident happened following a press conference in which Sean Dyche – although it could have been Mick Hucknall – said any footballing body who does not fully embrace lookalikes should be ‘slapped with a wet fish’.
The Kenna chairman admitted while there were already pockets of managers identified as lookalikes, adopting this as policy across the league was long overdue.
‘We’ve long recognised the Judean Peoples’ Front manager as our very own Anders Breivik, and the vice chairman is regularly reminding everyone I look like Jamie O’Hara, but to date there has been no concerted effort to find lookalikes for every Kenna manager,’ said Jamie O….the chairman.
‘Now every manager, for better or for worse, has a lookalike on their team profile page.
‘We understand some managers may be unhappy with their lookalike choice, and there is a process to challenge it.’
Any manager who wishes to appeal to get their own or another manager’s lookalike changed must present a better alternative to Kenna HQ for consideration.
‘We’re looking forward to hearing the appeals,’ said the chairman.
