PAVEL Pogrebnyak continued his emergence as one of the surprise packages of the season after adding a perfect hat-trick to his goal tally.
The striker’s heroics have Headless Chickens, whose ability to score was once in doubt, knocking on the door of the top four.
Theo Walcott’s return to form has also been welcome, while recent-signing Ashley Williams is having the last laugh after his unceremonious January exit from Judean Peoples’ Front.
The Chickens manager is now enjoying a similar fortunes to his sibling’s team FC Testiculadew.
Clint Dempsey chalked up two more goals, Rooney one and Szczesny made a penalty save, as FCT extended their lead at the top to 131 points.
The FCT and Chickens managers are fast becoming known as ‘The Mitchell Brothers of the Kenna’.
“If we catch any other managers giving it the Barry after a few in the Queen Vic, they’ll find themselves tied up in the Arches with a shooter in their Chevy and claret on their whistle,” said the Chickens and FCT gaffers in a joint statement.
Mario me!
Mario Balotelli has been urged to get married after being docked two weeks’ wages for visiting a strip joint two days before a match.
The manager of crisis-club Polonia Forsyth made the plea to improve the striker’s form on the pitch.
“Marry me, Mario,” she said before the Italian revealed he was wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with the words ‘Why always me?‘
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Someone looked at this site today after searching for ‘hairy see through bikini’.
Imagine their disappointment.