Red Arrows snub the Kenna

Red Arrows colours
‘Aerobatic joyriders’: The chairman was heavily critical of the Red Arrows today when they turned down a Kenna flypast request (photo courtesy of Crustyfur)

THE Kenna League chairman launched an astonishing attack on the Red Arrows today after they turned down a flypast request for this summer’s 10th anniversary auction.

The Kenna announced on Tuesday the Royal Air Force Aerobatic Team would be part of the league’s landmark celebrations on Saturday 9 August this year, when they would perform a flypast over the City of London pub where the auction is to be held.

The chairman was forced into an embarrassing u-turn today when a leaked email from the Ministry of Defence revealed 25 blokes on an all-dayer did not meet the strict event criteria demanded for Red Arrows flypasts.

“Red Arrows? Don’t talk to me about the Red f***ing Arrows!” roared the chairman at a press conference called to discuss next Wednesday’s Kenna transfer window deadline.

“Football and pubs. That’s what British society is and that’s exactly what the Kenna stands for: football and pubs. Those aerobatic joyriders wouldn’t know a cornerstone of the British institution if it pinched one off in their cockpit.

“They say flypasts over London by military aircraft are restricted to Royal, state or exceptionally high-profile events. What do those showboaters think the Kenna is? We’ve got nearly 200 followers on Twitter.”

With flypast plans scrapped, the chairman admitted the league was thin on the ground for ideas of how best to mark the 10th anniversary of London’s leading pub-based fantasy football league.

“If Sepp Blatter turns down his invite, it’s squeaky bum time,” he said.

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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.