JAKE Livermore may be suspended but it didn’t stop the heart palpitations at Lokomotiv Leeds.
A lightening hat-trick and two assists from Sadio Mane saw the club moved into the top four of the Kenna League in the penultimate week of the season.
Lokomotiv move ahead of an increasingly weary Judean Peoples’ Front. The latter side has failed to register more than 16 points in a week for the last month.
Second-placed Cowley Casuals will be hoping Mane’s hat-trick madness is contagious as they head into the final week of the season challenging for the title.
A goal and assist apiece from James Milner and Romelu Lukaku, and a clean sheet and assist from Jolean Lescott, move Casuals to within 17 points of league leaders Sporting Lesbian.
Those wondering what the highest score amassed by a side on the last day of the season need look no further than two years ago.
Spartak Mogadishu chalked up 42 points in May 2013 after hat-tricks from two players: Kevin Nolan and – whaddayaknow – Lukaku.
Those heroics led the Spartak manager to his first ever Kenna silverware as his side smashed Just Put Carles 7-1 in the Canesten Combi Cup final.
Today those managers are a far cry from glory. Just Put Carles hover just above the relegation zone, probably safe from a toothless Still Don’t Know Yet who seem destined for the drop.
The Spartak manager is now in charge of Hoxton Pirates, but it won’t be long before a P45 is pinned to the captain’s table with a dagger. The Somali manager’s team is so far adrift not even Ross Kemp is trying to milk a new season of Sky’s In Search of Pirates out of it.
Fresh humiliation was poured on the weekend as Hoxton Pirates won the Go For Broke Cup having lost 1-0 to Judean Peoples’ Front, and therefore won the season’s mark of knockout infamy.
Looking ahead Cowley Casuals face Dynamo Charlton in the Canesten Combi Cup final this weekend.
The double is still on.
Kenna table – week 36 of 37
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 49 | 3 |
| 2 | Cowley Casuals | Stu | 41 | 2 |
| 3 | FC Tescticuladew | James N | 38 | 4 |
| 4 | Sporting Lesbian | Ben M | 28 | 1 |
| 5 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 25 | 3 |
| 6 | Judean People’s Front | Sholto | 25 | 1 |
| 7 | Just Put Carles | Carles | 23 | 2 |
| 8 | Young Boys | Denney | 23 | 1 |
| 9 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 21 | 1 |
| 10 | Headless Chickens | John N | 20 | 1 |
| 11 | Walthamstow Reds | Dudley | 19 | 0 |
| 12 | Piedmonte | Phil | 19 | 0 |
| 13 | Fat Ladies | Ted | 17 | 1 |
| 14 | Still Don’t Know Yet | Pete | 15 | 1 |
| 15 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 14 | 0 |
| 16 | Team Panda Rules OK | George | 13 | 1 |
| 17 | KS West Green | Stix | 13 | 0 |
| 18 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 12 | 0 |
| 19 | St Reatham FC | Mike | 12 | 0 |
| 20 | Hoxton Pirates | Abdi | 9 | 0 |
| Points | Player | |||
| Player of the week | 23 | Mane, S – SOT – MID | ||
| Club | Lokomotiv Leeds |
