EVERY summer a select group of senior Kenna HQ blazers get together to pray for an interesting title race in the upcoming season.
The exact identity of the footballing deity whom they try to summon is unclear – and the Kenna HQ ethics committee has questioned whether the pointy masks, velvet drapes and naked girls are absolutely necessary – but whoever it or He is every season leaves those prayers unanswered.
For yet again the neutral spectator of the Kenna League is left with the dull plod of yet another title going to a club to dominate the table since autumn.
Should the inexorable march of Young Boys towards their second Kenna championship come to pass, they would join FC Testiculadew and Sporting Lesbian to become the third club to win two leagues in the last six seasons.
With credible challengers as sparse as pubic shrubbery on an Adam Johnson date, the phenomenon reached its nadir in April 2012 with the Kenna-in-the-bag inquiry.
There have been flickers of hope since. The Piedmonte manager came closest to breaking the cycle in 2013-14, but for a calamitous moment of transfer window business: swapping out a resurgent Samir Nasri for the lumbering Andros Townsend.
This season it’s another Kenna co-founding manager making a fist of it while the rest of the league gets fisted.
Philippe Coutinho, Jonathan Walters, Jermaine Defoe and Robbie Brady all scored this weekend to put Walthamstow Reds within 84 points of Young Boys.
But the chalkstripes in the Kenna HQ speculations department remain unconvinced of anything but a Young Boys triumph.
The Welshman’s side is enjoying sprightly form. Over the last seven weeks they’ve been popping along at more than 39 points a week, compared to Walthamstow Reds’ 29.
With just seven competitive weeks left of the season, it would take a Herculean effort from the Reds manager never before seen in the Kenna to overcome the deficit.
And he’s got Andros Townsend in midfield. No amount of virgins’ blood spilt at Kenna HQ can rectify that.
Kenna League – week 30
Weekly scores
