TUMULT is expected at next Friday’s Kenna transfer window when a new ‘sham slut’ rule will be imposed for the first time.
Rather than the evening disintegrating into a beery haze of meandering signings and unkept promises of all-night drinking in Bermondsey, transfer dealings are set to cease when an old alarm clock sounds at 10pm.
The new rule is likely to cause disarray with canny managers who prey on their competitors’ lack of moderation. And of course, the Pirate.
“Managers will have exactly three hours from 7pm to sign players through the traditional auction method. Once the alarm clock sounds there will be no more sales,” warned a Kenna HQ statement.
“Anyone who hasn’t made their signings before the window ‘shams slut’ will have their side auto-filled”, a tactic working quite well for the Pikey Scum manager, Kenna HQ failed to add.