THE Suez Canal was blocked for several days by a draft Kenna update about rumours of James Rodriguez’s gender reassignment.
So inappropriate it could be seen from space, the post attempted to make ironic observations about society’s attitudes to diversity, but only led to huge delays in maritime shipping.
‘It was obvious there was nothing in the Rodriguez rumours and they were ripe for the kind of biting satire for which the Kenna has come to be known,’ began the chairman brightly.
‘We started a list of potential headlines, but at some point we wrote down ‘J Rod-less’ and we began to suspect our insightful metaphor could be taken out of context.
‘We’re football administrators but we’re not completely out-of-touch blazers. We know a fantasy league won twice in the past by a side called Sporting Lesbian is not in the best place to make wry comment on gender and sexual orientation,’ he said, as two men with an excavator made a futile attempt to dig the chairman out of the hole he’d created.
Pressure from international shipping concerns eventually led to the Kenna abandoning the draft post.
Maritime routes reopened and the Craft Beer Wankers manager returned from his snap visit to the Red Sea.
Kenna HQ is now left with nothing to include in the latest league and cup updates.
‘There’s not much happening at in the world at the moment,’ said the chairman.
‘After all it’s not like the Pikey Scum manager’s brother in law has been arrested for grand theft auto and possession, or Frank Lampard’s sex tape has been published online.’
Covid Cup – group stage results
Kenna League week 27
Kenna League week 26
Full scores available from The Rub.
Kenna League week 25
