THE Kenna League chairman has vowed to crack down on managers who refuse to pay their subs after receiving ‘the lowest form of insult’ in the post.
Holding up a piece of chocolate money and a losing scratch card, the chairman said time is now up for managers failing to pay monies owed to the world’s leading London pub-based fantasy football league.
The Judean Peoples’ Front manager, who is more than two years behind in payments, is reported to have sent the items to Kenna HQ after being humiliated before Christmas when he was snapped in the pub with fellow debtor the Dulwich Red Sox manager.
‘This really is the lowest form of insult. I’d rather receive death threats than this guff. It’s the final straw,’ said the chairman.
Rumours at Kenna HQ are subs dodgers will receive any prize money payouts relative to how much they’ve paid in, which sounds a pecuniary alarm bell to debtors.
Fat Ladies‘ third place finish in 2019 and Pikey Scum‘s August 2019 Manager of the Month prize, and their fantastic form this season, will see the managers of both clubs most out of pocket unless they contact the treasurer immediately.
The Pirate and JPF manager are even further behind in their payments, but so unlikely to win anything in the Kenna their local health authorities sent them letters to say they’re ‘clinically extremely vulnerable’.
Transfer window details announced
The season’s only transfer window will take place remotely on Friday 5 February, it was announced today.
Managers must release unwanted players by the 12pm deadline on Tuesday 2 February.
The Cowley Casuals manager will have to decide (but probably not for long) on ditching either Ross Barkley or Jack Grealish, who are both Bramble tied.
Eight loan players will also be made available for the window:
Trent A-A (42 points) – Bala Rinas, 1st in the league
Sebastian Haller (41) – Dynamo Charlton, 5th
Joelinton (35) – Bunch of Kuntz, 13th
Oliver McBurnie (28) – Thame Network Solutions, 6th
Luke Shaw (23) – Cowley Casuals, 8th
Fred (19) – Piss Poor, 3rd
Gareth Bale (10) – Judean Peoples’ Front, 20th
Thiago (5) – Lokomotiv Leeds, 17th
Auction non-attendees the vice chairman and the Dagger’n’Redbridge manager are yet to discover the identity of their loan players.
A live head-to-head challenge between the two managers just before the transfer window begins has been tabled. The winner will decide the loser’s loan player.
Dennis Praet (33 points, vice chairman) and Bobby De Cordova-Reid (44 points, Daggers) are front runners.
Covid Cup
This season’s cup competition will see four groups of five in a seeded draw at the window, with the top two teams from each advancing straight into a quarter-final knockout stage.
| Week | Scores published | Notes | Transfer window | Cup |
| 16 | 12 January | |||
| 17 | 19 January | |||
| 18 | 26 January | Double GW | ||
| 19 | 2 February | Friday 5 February | Draw | |
| 20 | 9 February | |||
| 21 | 16 February | Group fixture 1 | ||
| 22 | 23 February | Group fixture 2 | ||
| 23 | 2 March | Group fixture 3 | ||
| 24 | 9 March | Group fixture 4 | ||
| 25 | 16 March | Group fixture 5 | ||
| 26 | 23 March | |||
| Internationals | ||||
| 27 | 6 April | |||
| 28 | 13 April | QF first leg | ||
| 29 | 20 April | QF second leg | ||
| 30 | 27 April | |||
| 31 | 4 May | SF first leg | ||
| 32 | 11 May | SF second leg | ||
| 33 | 18 May | 15 May – FA Cup Final | ||
| 34 | 25 May | Final |
Kenna table week 15
Kenna table week 14
Kenna table week 13
