Category: James N

FC Testiculadew 2021/22

Hugo Drax
The FC Testiculadew manager

Since: 2011

Trophy cabinet: 2013/14 and 2011/12 league and cup double, 2014 Emerson World Cup winner

Form
2011/12 – 1st
2012/13 – 2nd
2013/14 – 1st
2014/15 – 7th
2015/16 – 8th
2016/17 – 2nd
2017/18 – 14th
2018/19 – 17th
2019/20 – 10th
2020/21 – 4th

Sympathies: Everton

Auction XI

Auction attendance: in the pub / absent, silent bidder / absent, complete autofill

GKMartinezAVL5
DFMaguireMUN5
DFChilwellCHE9
DFRomeroTOT5
DFKonateLIV0.5
MFSterlingMCY13
MFZahaCRY7
MFBowenWHY0.5
MFJWPSOT10
STDCLEVE12
STAubaARS19
Total£86m
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Testiculadewland

Manager: The Dark Lord

International form
2006 Claudio Caniggia World Cup – n/a
2008 John Jensen Euros – n/a
2010 Dr Khumalo World Cup – n/a
2012 Emanuel Olisadebe Euros – 2/14
2014 Emerson World Cup – 1/18 *winner*
2016 Jean Alain Boumsong Euros – 1/18 *winner*
2018 Dimitri Kharine World Cup – 5/16

Sympathies: England/Slovakia

GKKrulNED0.5
DFRudigerGER5
DFCanceloPOR11
DFSkriniarSLO0.5
DFDigneFRA0.5
MFOlmoSPA0.5
MFSterlingENG1
MFModricCRO6
STLukakuBEL37
STYilmazTUR7
STImmobileITA7
Total76
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FC Testiculadew 2020/21

Hugo Drax
The FC Testiculadew manager

Since: 2011

Trophy cabinet: 2013/14 and 2011/12 league and cup double, 2014 Emerson World Cup winner

Form
2011/12 – 1st
2012/13 – 2nd
2013/14 – 1st
2014/15 – 7th
2015/16 – 8th
2016/17 – 2nd
2017/18 – 14th
2018/19 – 17th
2019/20 – 10th

Sympathies: Everton

First transfer window

AlissonLIV £                     0.50
Lucas DigneEVE £                     7.00
Eric DierTOT £                     5.00
Timothy CastagneLEI £                     7.00
GabrielARS £                     0.50
Ross BarkleyAVA £                     5.00
Hakim ZiyechCHE £                  10.00
Wilfried ZahaCRY £                  16.00
Dwight McNeilBUR £                     0.50
Anthony MartialMUN £                  25.00
Gabriel JesusMCI £                  14.00
   £                  90.50

Auction XI

AlissonLIV £                     0.50
Lucas DigneEVE £                     7.00
Eric DierTOT £                     5.00
Timothy CastagneLEI £                     7.00
GabrielARS £                     0.50
Matheus PereiraWBA £                    8.00
Hakim ZiyechCHE £                  10.00
Wilfried ZahaCRY £                  16.00
Dwight McNeilBUR £                     0.50
Anthony MartialMUN £                  25.00
Gabriel JesusMCI £                  14.00
   £                  93.50
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FC Testiculadew 2019/20

AlissonLIV £                  15.00
Cancelo, JMCY £                     0.50
Williams, BMUN £                     0.50
van Aanholt, PCRY £                     5.00
Lascelles, JNEW £                     0.50
Barnes, HLEI £                     0.50
RicharlisonEVE £                  23.00
Hudson-Odoi, CCHE £                     3.00
Bergwijn, STOT £                     0.50
Martinelli, GARS £                     0.50
Pukki, TNOR £                    2.00
   £                 60.00
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FC Testiculadew 2018/19

James N profile
‘Tache: The FC Testiculadew manager

Manager: James N (Yorkshire)

Since: 2011

Home ground: Scrotrot Street

Training facility: The Death Star

Trophy cabinet: 2013/14 and 2011/12 league and cup double, 2014 Emerson World Cup winner

Form
2011/12 – 1st
2012/13 – 2nd
2013/14 – 1st
2014/15 – 7th
2015/16 – 8th
2016/17 – 2nd
2017/18 – 14th

Sympathies: Everton

Darts music: The Imperial March (Family Guy elevator remix)

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £15.5m
Spend: £8m
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £7.5m

Arrizabalaga, K CHE  £14.00
Otto, J (TW1) WLV £8.00
Mina, Y EVE  £0.50
Zabaleta, P WHM  £0.50
Mee, B BUR  £4.00
Meyer, M CRY  £0.50
Ozil, M ARS  £21.00
Elyounoussi, M SOT  £0.50
Gundogan, I MCY  £3.00
Lukaku, R MUN  £41.00
Iheanacho, K LEI  £6.50
 £98.50

Auction XI

Arrizabalaga, K CHE  £14.00
Clyne, N LIV £3.00
Mina, Y EVE  £0.50
Zabaleta, P WHM  £0.50
Mee, B BUR  £4.00
Meyer, M CRY  £0.50
Ozil, M ARS  £21.00
Elyounoussi, M SOT  £0.50
Gundogan, I MCY  £3.00
Lukaku, R MUN  £41.00
Iheanacho, K LEI  £6.50
 £94.50
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FC Testiculadewland

Pickford, J ENG  £                     5.00
Rojo, M ARG  £                     0.50
Meunier, T BEL  £                     0.50
Kolarov, A SRB  £                     0.50
Reus, M GER  £                    8.00
Willian BRA  £                     5.00
Lemar, T FRA  £                    9.00
Dzagoev, A RUS  £                     3.00
Ronaldo, C POR  £                  41.00
Lewandowski, R POL  £                  23.00
Costa, D ESP  £                     0.50
 £                 96.00
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FC Testiculadew 2017/18

James N profile
‘Tache: The FC Testiculadew manager

Manager: James N (Yorkshire)

Since: 2011

Home ground: Scrotrot Street

Training facility: The Death Star

Trophy cabinet: 2013/14 and 2011/12 league and cup double, 2014 Emerson World Cup winner

Form
2011/12 – 1st
2012/13 – 2nd
2013/14 – 1st
2014/15 – 7th
2015/16 – 8th
2016/17 – 2nd

Sympathies: Everton

Darts music: The Imperial March (Family Guy elevator remix)

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: The Dark Lord of the Kenna could sign eleven Titus Brambles and still be in the title race mix come April – 12/1

Second transfer window – Friday 4 October 2018
Remaining budget: £4m

Cech, P ARS £ 7.00
Matip, J LIV £3.00
Fuchs, C LEI £0.50
Rose, D TOT £0.50
Coleman, S EVE £0.50
Tadic, D SOT £9.00
Arnautovic, M WHM £8.00
Gundogan, I MCY £6.00
Barkley, R (TW2 – from Piss Poor) CHE £0.50
Lukaku, R MUN £41.00
Benteke, C (TW2) CRY  £18.00
 £94m

First transfer window – Friday 6 October 2017
Remaining budget: £12.5m

Player sales: Sandro Ramirez to Judean Peoples’ Front for £0.5m

Cech, P ARS  £ 7.00
Matip, J LIV  £3.00
Fuchs, C LEI  £0.50
Rose, D TOT  £0.50
Coleman, S EVE  £0.50
Arnautovic, M WHM  £8.00
Chadli, N WBA  £4.00
Gundogan, I MCY  £6.00
Tadic, D SOT  £9.00
Batshuayi, M CHE  £0.50
Lukaku, R MUN  £41.00
     £80m

Auction XI (3-4-3)
Remaining budget: £3m

Cech, P ARS  £ 7.00
Matip, J LIV  £3.00
Fuchs, C LEI  £0.50
Rose, D TOT  £0.50
Tadic, D SOT  £9.00
Arnautovic, M WHM  £8.00
Chadli, N WBA  £4.00
Gundogan, I MCY  £6.00
Lukaku, R MUN  £41.00
Ramirez, S EVE  £15.00
Berahino, S STO  £3.00
     £97.00
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FC Testiculadew 2016/17

James N profile
‘Tache: The FC Testiculadew manager

Manager: James N (Yorkshire)

Since: 2011

Home ground: Scrotrot Street

Training facility: The Death Star

Trophy cabinet: 2013/14 and 2011/12 league and cup double, 2014 Emerson World Cup winner

Kenna Index rating: 0.137 – 1st
2011/12 – 1st
2012/13 – 2nd
2013/14 – 1st
2014/15 – 7th
2015/16 – 8th

Sympathies: Everton

Darts music: Space March – John Barry

Starting XI – August auction

Heaton, T BUR  £                   0.50
Cathcart, C (TW1) WAT  £                   5.00
Walker, K TOT  £                10.00
Fuchs, C LEI  £                  6.00
Silva, D MCY  £                14.00
Stuart Hall (TW1) HMP Kenna  £                12.50
Iwobi, A ARS  £                  2.00
Hojbjerg, P (TW1) SOT  £                   0.50
Hazard, E CHE  £                  2.00
Hernandez, A HUL  £                   3.00
Ibrahimovic, Z MUN  £                31.00
     £                86.50

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (3rd)

In
Adam Smith – Bournemouth defender – £5m
Sofiane Boufal – Southampton defender – £0.5m
Etienne Capoue – Watford midfielder – £9m

Out
Craig Cathcart – Watford defender – free
Stuart Hall – HMP Kenna midfielder – free
Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg – Southampton midfielder – free

Formation: 4-4-2
Remaining budget: £9m

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February 2017 (2nd)

In
Calum Chambers – Boro defender – £2m
Gini Wijnaldum – Liverpool midfielder – £16m (the ISIL manager had lost him under the Titus Bramble ruling)

Out
Sofiane Boufal – Southampton defender – free
Abel Hernandez – Hull striker – free

Formation: 4-5-1
Remaining budget: £1m

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FC TesticuladewLand

Manager: James N

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: 2014 Emerson World Cup champions

Formation: 3-4-3

Neuer, M GER £16m
Cahill, G ENG £5m
Corluka, V CRO £0.5m
Piszczek, L POL £0.5m
Turan, A TUR £8m
Alcantara, T ESP £13m
Dzsudzsak, B HUN £0.5m
Kucka, J SVK £0.5m
Lukaku, R BEL £25m
Yarmolenko, A UKR £5m
Griezmann, A FRA £19m
£93m
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FC Testiculadew 2015/16

James N profile
‘Tache: The FC Testiculadew manager

Manager: James N (Yorkshire)

Since: 2011

Home ground: Scrotrot Street

Training facility: The Death Star

Trophy cabinet: 2013/14 and 2011/12 league and cup double, 2014 Emerson World Cup winner

Kenna Index rating: 0.137 – 1st
2011/12 – 1st
2012/13 – 2nd
2013/14 – 1st
2014/15 – 7th

Sympathies: Everton

Darts music: Space March – John Barry

Season preview in one sentence (on 28 September): An uncharacteristically underwhelming side from the Dark Lord of the Kenna, who would appear to have his hands full with Aleksander Mitrovic’s anger management issues.

Courtois, T (TW1) CHE £0.5m
Otamendi, N (TW2) MCY £?m
Morgan, W (TW2) LEI £?m
Sakho, M LIV £0.5m
Ogbonna, A WHM £4m
Walcott, T ARS £19m
Tadic, D SOT £7m
Cabaye, Y CRY £17m
Deulofeu, G (TW2) EVE £?m
Naismith, S (TW2) NOR £?m
Krkic, B (TW1) STO £2m
£?m

First transfer window – Friday 2 October 2015

In 
Courtois, T – Chelsea goalkeeper – £0.5m (from Walthamstow Reds)
Krkic, B – Stoke striker – £2m (from Walthamstow Reds)

Out
Romero, S – Manchester United goalkeeper – free
Fletcher, S – Sunderland striker – free

Remaining budget: £11.5m

Second transfer window – Friday 5 February 2016

In
Otamendi, N – Manchester City defender – £?m
Morgan, W – Leicester defender – £?m
Deulofeu, G – Everton midfielder – £?m
Naismith, S – Norwich striker – £?m

Out
Clichy, G – Manchester City defender – free
Coleman, S – Everton defender – free
Sinclair, S – Aston Villa midfielder – free
Mitrovic, A – Newcastle striker – free

Remaining budget: £?m

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