Category: Managers

Cowley Casuals 2017/18

Stu manager pic
Buckets of potential: The Cowley Casuals manager

Manager: Stu (Wolverhampton)

Twitter name: @sfinch100

Since: 2012

Home ground: Ground Zero Hours

Training facility: The Agency

Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winners 2015

Form
2012/13 – 17th
2013/14 – did not enter
2014/15 – 2nd
2015/16 – 12th
2016/17 – 7th

Sympathies: Wolves

Darts music: Menergy – Patrick Cowley

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: His befuddled behavior had many wondering if the Cowley boss went for a drink with Bill Cosby before the auction, yet his woozy approach has thrown up some astute signings – 20/1

Second transfer window – Friday 4 October 2018
Remaining budget: £24.5m

No changes.

First transfer window – Friday 6 October 2017
Remaining budget: £24.5m

Schmeichel, K LEI  £0.50
Lowton, M (TW1) BUR  £0.50
Stones, J MCY  £0.50
Mustafi, S ARS  £3.00
Mane, S LIV  £29.00
Phillips, M WBA  £2.00
van La Parra, R HUD  £0.50
March, S BTN  £0.50
Hernandez, J WHM  £24.00
Gabbiadini, M SOT  £16.00
Crouch, P (TW1) STO  £0.50
 £77m

Auction XI (3-4-3)
Remaining budget: £15.5m

Schmeichel, K LEI  £0.50
Lindelhof, V MUN  £8.00
Stones, J MCY  £0.50
Mustafi, S ARS  £3.00
Mane, S LIV  £29.00
Phillips, M WBA  £2.00
van La Parra, R HUD  £0.50
March, S BTN  £0.50
Hernandez, J WHM  £24.00
Gabbiadini, M SOT  £16.00
Gayle, D NEW  £0.50
     £84.50
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No Hay Fiesta Sin Iniesta 2017/18

Carles
Showman: The No Fiesta Without Iniesta manager

Manager: Carles (Catalunya)

Twitter name: @cduzpalau

Since: 2010

Home ground: Camp de la Independencia

Training facility: The Farmhouse

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – 5th in 2012/13)

Form
2010/2011 – 9th
2011/12 – 14th
2012/13 – 5th
2012/13 – 15th
2013/14 – 17th
2015/16 – 17th
2016/17 – 22nd (last)

Sympathies: FC Barcelona

Darts music: Cant del Barca

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: Catalan tries to break his four-year slump with star signings in midfield and a shiny new goalkeeper, but looks light up top and has poor transfer window attendance record – 30/1

Second transfer window – Friday 4 February 2018
Remaining budget: £14.5m

Moraes, E MCY  £ 4.00
Davies, B TOT  £ 4.00
Holebas, J WAT  £3.00
Daniels, C BOU  £2.00
Manquillo, J (TW1) NEW  £0.50
Hazard, E CHE  £ 33.00
Ward-Prowse, J SOT  £0.5m
Ramsey, A ARS  £ 6.00
Matic, N (TW1) MUN  £11.00
Diouf, M (TW1) STO  £7.00
Niasse, O (TW1) EVE  £ 0.50
 £73m

First transfer window – Friday 6 October 2017
Remaining budget: £4.5m

Moraes, E MCY £ 4.00
Davies, B TOT £ 4.00
Holebas, J WAT £3.00
Daniels, C BOU  £2.00
Manquillo, J (TW1) NEW  £0.50
Hazard, E CHE £ 33.00
Coutinho, P LIV   £31.00
Ramsey, A ARS £ 6.00
Matic, N (TW1) MUN  £11.00
Diouf, M (TW1) STO  £7.00
Niasse, O (TW1) EVE  £ 0.50
 £102m

Auction XI (4-4-2)
Remaining budget: £13.5m

Moraes, E MCY  £ 4.00
Davies, B TOT  £4.00
Holebas, J WAT  £3.00
Daniels, C BOU  £2.00
Coleman, S EVE  £ 0.50
Hazard, E CHE  £ 33.00
Coutinho, P LIV  £31.00
Ramsey, A ARS  £ 6.00
Afellay, I STO  £ 0.50
Dembele CET  £0.50
Long, S SOT  £2.00
     £86.50
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Thieving Magpies 2017/18

Phil profile pic
England till he dies: ‘Pies manager

Manager: Phil (Wolverhampton)

Twitter name: @PhillyD55

Since: 2005 (co founder)

Home ground: Tinfoil Street

Training facility: The Wheelbarrow

Trophy cabinet: 2016/17 league winner

Form
2005/06 – 3rd
2006/07 – 2nd
2007/08 – 11th
2008/09 – 5th
2009/10 – 11th
2010/11 – 7th
2011/12 – 18th (relegated)
2012/13 – 4th
2013/14 – 2nd
2014/15 – 14th
2015/16 – 9th
2016/17 – 1st

Sympathies: Notts County

Darts music: The Great Escape – the England Band

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: If the ‘Pies boss is the first manager to successfully defend the Kenna he’ll be relying heavily on injury-free seasons from physio table regulars Vincent Kompany, Chris Smalling and Daniel Sturridge – 12/1

Second transfer window – Friday 4 February 2018
Remaining budget: £20.5m

No changes.

First transfer window – Friday 6 October 2017
Remaining budget: £10.5m

Gomes, H WAT  £1.00
Kompany, V MCY  £10.00
Smalling, C MUN  £0.50
Cresswell, A WHM  £0.50
Sigurdsson, G SWA  £18.00
Mahrez, R LEI  £16.00
Knockaert, A BTN  £9.00
Hayden, I (TW1) NEW  £0.50
Sturridge, D LIV  £21.00
Wilson, C BOU  £6.00
Giroud, O ARS  £15.00
     £97.5m

Auction XI – 3-4-3
Remaining budget: £1m

Gomes, H WAT  £1.00
Kompany, V MCY  £10.00
Smalling, C MUN  £0.50
Cresswell, A WHM  £0.50
Sigurdsson, G SWA  £18.00
Mahrez, R LEI  £16.00
Knockaert, A BTN  £9.00
Mirallas, K EVE  £2.00
Sturridge, D LIV  £21.00
Wilson, C BOU  £6.00
Giroud, O ARS  £15.00
     £99.00
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Young Boys of Vauxhall 2016/17

Denney
Don’t mention the war: The Young Boys manager

Manager: Denney (Wales)

Twitter name: @andenney

Since: 2007

Home ground: Yewtree Lane

Training facility: Fiddler’s Harris

Trophy cabinet: Champions 2010/11 and 2015/16, Canesten Combi Cup winners 2008/09

Kenna Index rating: 0.3 – 4th
2007/08 – 5th
2008/09 – 3rd (cup winners)
2009/10 – 2nd
2010/11 – 1st (champions)
2011/12 – 4th
2013/14 – 16th
2014/15 – 6th
2015/16 – 1st (champions)

Sympathies: Spurs

Darts music: We Don’t Talk Anymore – Sir Cliff Richard

Starting XI – August auction

Lloris, H TOT £ 15.00
Azpilicueta, C CHE £ 17.00
Baines, L (sold TW1) EVE £ 12.00
Valencia, A MUN £ 7.00
van Aanholt, P SUN £ 10.00
Kolarov, A MCY £ 0.50
Savile, J (sold TW1) HMP Kenna £ 12.50
Bolasie, Y (sold TW2) CRY £ 9.00
Routledge, W (sold TW1) SWA £ 0.50
Phillips, M WBA £ 2.00
Rhodes, J (sold TW1) MID £ 0.50
£ 86.00

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (8th)

In
Steven Defour – Burnley midfielder – £5m
Roberto Pereyra – Watford midfielder – £9m
Islam Slimani – Leicester City striker – £13m
Adama Diomande – Hull striker – £10m

Out
Leighton Baines – Everton defender – sold for £18m to Bala Rinas
Jimmy Savile – HMP Kenna midfielder – free
Wayne Routledge – Swansea midfielder -free
Jordan Rhodes – Middlesborough striker – free

Formation: 4-4-2
Remaining budget: none

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February 2017 (5th)

In
Robbie Brady – Burnley midfielder – £2m
Ibrahim Affelay – Stoke midfielder – £2m
Oumar Niasse – Hull midfielder – £0.5m
Ademola Lookman – Everton striker – £0.5m

Out
Steven Defour – Burnley midfielder – free
Roberto Pereyra – Watford midfielder – free
Yannick Bolasie – Everton midfielder – free
Adama Diomande – Hull striker – free

Formation: 4-4-2
Remaining budget: £5m

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Sleptember XI 2016/17

Paul pic
Chilling with my bitch: The Sleptember XI manager

Manager: Paul

Twitter name: @whitewashweb

Since: 2016

Home ground: Andre Gray’s Appeal

Training facility: Andre Gray’s Social Media Manager

Trophy cabinet: empty

Kenna Index rating: debut season

Sympathies: Manchester United

Darts music: September – Earth, Wind & Fire

Starting XI – August auction

Gomes, H WAT £ 2.00
Delaney, D CRY £ 3.00
Daniels, C BOU £ 5.00
Schlupp, J (sold TW1) LEI £ 0.50
Friend, G MID £ 4.00
Mata, J MUN £ 8.00
Fletcher, D WBA £ 2.00
Noble, M WHM £ 10.00
Sterling, R MCY £ 9.00
Defoe, J SUN £ 9.00
Gray, A BUR £ 15.00
£ 67.50

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (5th)

In
Jamie Milner – Liverpool midfielder – £20m

Out
Jeffrey Schlupp – Leicester City defender – free

Formation: 3-5-2
Remaining budget: £22.5m

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February (3rd)

 

No changes.

Formation: 3-5-2
Remaining budget: £32.5m

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Two Goals One Cup 2016/17

Spencer anon
Bald ambition: The Two Goals One Cup manager

Manager: Spencer (Lichfield)

Since: 2016

Home ground: Rimmer’s Way

Training facility: Fantasy Island

Trophy cabinet: Empty

Sympathies: Nuneaton Borough

Darts music: Ski-ba-bop-ba-dop-dop – Scatman John

Starting XI – August auction

Hart, J (TW1) MCY  £                10.00
Monreal, N ARS  £                15.00
Ivanovic, B CHE  £                11.00
Blind, D MUN  £                  4.00
Taylor, N (TW1) SWA  £                   0.50
Barkley, R EVE  £                18.00
Coutinho, P LIV  £                23.00
Shaqiri, X STO  £                12.00
Lanzini, M (TW1) WHM  £                   0.50
Wickham, C (TW1) CRY  £                   3.00
Janssen, V (TW1) TOT  £                   0.50
     £                97.50

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (9th)

In
Artur Boruc – Bournemouth goalkeeper – £5m
Vincent Kompany – Manchester City defender – £0.5m
Stewart Downing – Middlesborough midfielder – £12m (signed from So Good They Named Him Twice)
Steve Davis – Southampton midfielder – £0.5m
Duncan Watmore – Sunderland striker – £0.5m

Out
Joe Hart – Manchester City goalkeeper – free
Neil Taylor – Swansea defender – free
Manuel Lanzini – West Ham midfielder – sold for £8m to So Good They Named Him Twice
Connor Wickham – Crystal Palace striker – free
Vincent Janssen – Spurs striker – sold for £0.5m to Pikey Scum

Formation: 4-5-1
Remaining budget: £2.5m

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February 2017 (14th)

 

No changes.

Formation: 4-5-1
Remaining budget: £2.5m

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So Good They Named Him Twice 2016/17

Weatherall and Anderton
Sicknote: The So Good They Named Him Twice manager

Manager: Weatherall (Liverpool?)

Twitter name: @johnredknapp

Since: 2016

Home ground: The Jay-Jay Memorial Park

Training facility: Okocha

Trophy cabinet: empty

Kenna Index rating: debut season

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts music: Smooth Operator – Sade

Starting XI – August auction

Schmeichel, K LEI £ 10.00
Alderweireld, T TOT £ 18.00
Bertrand, R SOT £ 6.00
Moreno, A (sold TW1) LIV £ 0.50
Terry, J (sold TW2) CHE £ 0.50
Ozil, M ARS £ 30.00
Allen, J STO £ 2.00
Downing, S (sold TW1) MID £ 0.50
Martial, A MUN £ 20.00
Llorente, SWA £ 4.00
Success, I (sold TW2) WAT £ 0.50
£ 92.00

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (6th)

In
Pablo Zabaleta – Manchester City defender – £0.5m
Manuel Lanzini – West Ham midfielder – £8m (signed from Two Goals One Cup)

Out
Alberto Moreno – Liverpool defender – free
Stewart Downing – Middlesborough midfielder – sold to Two Goals One Cup for £12m

Formation: 4-3-3
Remaining budget: £21.5m

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February 2017 (12th)

In
Marcos Alonso – Chelsea defender – £20m
Mamadou Sakho – Crystal Palace defender – £4m
Lazar Markovic – Hull midfielder – £0.5m

Out
John Terry – Chelsea defender – free
Pablo Zabaleta – Man City defender – £4m (to Judean Peoples’ Front)
Isaac Success – Watford striker – free

Formation: 4-4-2
Remaining budget: £11.5m

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Adam Johnson Fan Club 2016/17

Chairman 69 problems
…but running the world’s best London pub-based fantasy football auction ain’t one: The AJ Fan Club manager and Kenna chairman

Manager: Stix

Twitter name: @jeffkennaleague

Since: 2005 (co-founder and chairman)

Home ground: Big Wong

Training facility: The Forbidden Garden

Trophy cabinet: Champions 2005/06, Canesten Combi Cup winner 2006, treble in 2009/2010 (league, cup, Dr Khumalo World Cup 2010)

Kenna Index rating: 0.48 – 8th
2005/06 – 1st
2006/07 – 3rd
2007/08 – 7th
2008/09 – 9th
2009/10 – 1st
2010/11 – 4th
2011/12 – 16th
2012/13 – 18th (relegated)
2013/14 – 10th
2014/15 – 11th
2015/16 – 11th

Sympathies: Kidderminster Harriers

Darts music: Let Me Be Your Fantasy – Baby D

Starting XI – August auction

Fabianski, L SWA £ 6.00
Fonte, J SOT £ 7.00
Simpson, D LEI £ 3.00
Funes Mori, R (sold TW1) EVE £ 3.00
Pieters, E STO £ 7.00
Zuniga, J WAT £ 0.50
Adomah, A (sold TW1) AVL £ 0.50
Rodwell, J (sold TW2) SUN £ 0.50
Oscar (sold TW2) CHE £ 15.00
Aguero, S MCY £ 45.00
Valencia, E (sold TW1) EVE £ 0.50
£ 88.00

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (12th)

In
Gareth Barry – Everton midfielder – £9m
Granit Xhaka – Arsenal midfielder – £0.5m
Victor Wanyama – Spurs midfielder – £0.5m

Out
Ramiro Funes Mori – Everton defender – free
Albert Adomah – Middlesborough midfielder – free
Enner Valencia – Everton striker – free

Formation: 4-5-1
Remaining budget: £12m

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February 2017 (18th)

In
Victor Moses – Chelsea midfielder – £6m
Ryan Fraser – Bournemouth striker – £8m

Out
Jack Rodwell – Sunderland midfielder – £0.5m (to Judean Peoples’ Front)
Oscar – Chelsea midfielder – free

Formation: 4-4-2
Remaining budget: £8.5m

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Wandsworth Network Solutions 2016/17

Will and Gunnersaurus Rex
Influences at the highest echelons of the game: The Wandsworth Network Solutions manager (left)

Manager: Will (Worcestershire)

Twitter name: @chainfir3

Since: 2010

Home ground: King George’s Park

Training facility: The Alma

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – 8th in 2010/11)

Kenna Index rating: N/A
2010/11 – 8th
2012/13 – 19th (relegated)
2013/14 – did not enter
2014/15 – did not enter
2015/16 – 7th

Sympathies: Kidderminster Harriers

Darts music: Mary Jane – Rick James

Remaining budget: £9.5m (did not attend auction, average remaining budget of manager who did)

Starting XI – August auction

de Gea, D MUN £ 18.00
Bellerin, H ARS £ 23.00
Davies, B TOT £ 0.50
Rahman, B (TW1) SCH £ 0.50
Wollscheid, P (TW1) WLF £ 0.50
Henderson, J LIV £ 0.50
Puncheon, J CRY £ 0.50
Mahrez, R LEI £ 22.00
Bony, W (TW2) STO £ 0.50
Sakho, D (TW1) WHM £ 0.50
Austin, C SOT £ 0.50
£ 67.00

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (14th)

In
Ben Gibson – Middlesborough defender – £2m
Nemanja Matic – Chelsea midfielder – £8m
Fernandinho – Manchester City midfielder – £6m

Out
Baba Rahman – Schalke 04 defender – free
Philipp Wollscheid – Stoke City defender – free
Diafra Sakho – West Ham striker – free

Formation: 3-5-2
Remaining budget: £3.5m

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February 2017 (11th)

In
Peter Crouch – Stoke striker – £5m

Out
Wilfred Bony – Stoke striker – free

Formation: 3-5-2
Remaining budget: £8.5m

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Walthamstow Reds 2016/17

Dudley profile pic
English food: The Newington Reds manager

Manager: Dudley (Wolverhampton)

Twitter name: @dudleyben

Since: 2005 (co founder and committee member)

Home ground: The Old Dog Track

Training facility: Banbury Reservoir

Trophy cabinet: empty

Kenna Index rating: 0.4 – 5th
2005/06 – 2nd
2006/07 – 7th
2007/08 – 4th
2008/09 – 4th
2009/10 – 3rd
2010/11 – 11th
2011/12 – 3rd
2012/13 – 11th
2013/14 – 7th
2014/15 – 8th
2015/16 – 2nd

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts music: House of Love – East 17

Remaining budget: £9.5m (did not attend auction, average remaining budget of manager who did)

Starting XI – August auction

Courtois, T CHE £ 0.50
Matip, J LIV £ 6.00
Chilwell, B (TW1) LEI £ 1.00
Ake, N (TW1) BOU £ 4.00
Shaw, L (TW2) MUN £ 16.00
Gabriel (TW1) ARS £ 0.50
Boyd, G BUR £ 0.50
Brunt, C (TW2) WBA £ 0.50
Nasri, S (TW2) MCY £ 0.50
Afellay, I (TW2) STO £ 0.50
Lukaku, R EVE £ 32.00
£ 62.00

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (19th)

In
Barragan – Boro defender –
Martins Indi – Stoke defender –
Sissoko, M – Spurs midfielder – £0.5m
McArthur, J – Palace midfielder – £0.5m

Out
Ben Chilwell – Leicester City defender – free
Nathan Ake – Chelsea defender – free
Gabriel – Arsenal defender – free

Formation: 5-4-1
Remaining budget: £14.5m

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February 2017 (12th)

In
Yoshida, M – Southampton defender – £0.5m
Evandro – Hull midfielder – £8m
King, J – Bournemouth striker – £13m (from ISIL)

Out
Jordi Amat – Swansea defender – free
Luke Shaw – Man Utd defender – free
Khazri
Chris Brunt – West Brom midfielder – free
Samir Nasri – Sevilla midfielder – free
Ibrahim Afellay – Stoke midfielder – £2m (to Young Boys)

Formation:
Remaining budget:

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