Managers – Page 16 – The Jeff Kenna League

Sporting Lesbian 2016/17

Sloth: The Sporting Lesbian manager

Manager: Ben M (Cumbria)

Twitter name: @BenMarcangelo

Since: 2012

Home ground: Todger Dodger Street

Training facility: The Dyke

Last season: 8th

Trophy cabinet: Champions 2012/13 and 2014/15

Kenna Index rating TBC
2012/13 – 1st
2013/14 – 8th
2014/15 – 1st
2015/16 – missed auction due to washing machine delivery

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts music: Lesbian Seagull – David van Driessen

Starting XI – August auction

Robles, J	EVE	£0.50
van Dijk, V	SOT	£7.00
Rose, D	TOT	£9.00
Reid, W	WHM	£5.00
Cahill, G	CHE	£10.00
Ramsey, A	ARS	£10.00
Sane, L	MCY	£12.00
Herrera, A	MUN	£0.50
Benteke, C	CRY	£12.00
Musa, A	LEI	£13.00
Afobe, B	BOU	£4.00
		£83.00

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (21st)

No changes.

Formation: 4-3-3
Remaining budget: £17m

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February 2017 (6th)

No changes.

Formation: 4-4-3
Remaining budget: £17m

Burqini Pool Party 2016/17

Manager: Aiden (Yorkshire)

Twitter name: @Br15land

Since: 2011

Home ground: Koran Koran

Training facility: Deep End

Trophy cabinet: Empty

Kenna Index rating: 0.576 – 15th
2011/12 – 15th
2012/13 – 9th
2013/14 – 13th
2014/15 – 10th
2015/16 – 17th (relegated)

Sympathies: Sheffield Wednesday

Darts music: Inner Circle – Sweat

Starting XI – August auction

Mandanda, S (TW1)	CRY	£ 2.00
Clyne, N	LIV	£ 11.00
Darmian, M (TW1)	MUN	£ 0.50
Clichy, G	MCY	£ 6.00
Pied, J (TW1)	SOT	£ 0.50
Antonio, M	WHM	£ 3.00
Sigurdsson, G	SWA	£ 10.00
Eriksen, C	TOT	£ 19.00
Mirallas, K	EVE	£ 8.00
Cook, L (TW1)	BOU	£ 0.50
Vardy, J	LEI	£ 23.00
		£ 83.50

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (11th)

In
Bill Cosby – HMP Kenna goalkeeper – ?
Martin Kelly – Crystal Palace defender – £0.5m
Harry Arter – Bournemouth midfielder – £0.5m
Lucas Perez – Arsenal striker – £6m

Out
Steve Mandanda – Crystal Palace goalkeeper – Bramble
Matteo Darmian – Manchester United defender – free
Jeremy Pied – Southampton defender – free
Lewis Cook – Bournemouth midfielder – free

Formation: 3-5-2
Remaining budget: £19.5m

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February 2017 (7th)

In
Lee Grant – Stoke goalkeeper – £0.5m
Sebastian Prodl – Watford defender – £2m
Jay Rodriguez – Southampton striker – £17m

Out
Bill Cosby – HMP Kenna goalkeeper – free
Martin Kelly – Crystal Palace defender – free
Lucas Perez – Arsenal striker – free

Formation: 3-5-2
Remaining budget: £10m

Zapisz

Dynamo Charlton 2016/17

Manager: Alex (Surrey)

Twitter name: @alexbass75

Since: 2011

Home ground: The Dynamic Valley

Training facility: Stone Lake

Trophy cabinet: Olisadebe Euro 2012 winner

Kenna Index rating: 0.627 – 19th
2011/12 – 6th
2012/13 – 6th
2013/14 – 12th
2014/15 – 15th
2015/16 – 4th

Sympathies: Charlton Athletic

Darts music: The Gladiators TV theme

Starting XI – August auction

Butland, J (TW2)	STO	£ 9.00
Masauku, A (TW1)	WHM	£ 0.50
Naughton, K	SWA	£ 2.00
Yoshida, M (TW1)	SOT	£ 0.50
Snodgrass, R	HUL	£ 7.00
Deulofeu, G (TW1)	EVE	£ 8.00
Walcott, T	ARS	£ 6.00
Gudmundsson, JB	BUR	£ 0.50
Negredo, A	MID	£ 16.00
Batshuayi, M	CHE	£ 21.00
Nolito (TW2)	MCY	£ 21.00
		£ 91.50

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (7th)

In
Tyrone Mings – Bournemouth defender – £0.5m
Mason Holgate – Everton defender – £0.5m
Nordin Amrabat – Watford midfielder – £0.5m

Out
Arthur Masauku – West Ham defender – free
Maya Yoshida – Southampton defender – free
Gerard Deulofeu – Everton midfielder – free

Formation: 3-4-3
Remaining budget: £17m

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February 2017 (13th)

In
Simon Mignolet – Liverpool goalkeeper – £0.5m
Gabriel Jesus – Man City striker – £23m

Out
Jack Butland – Stoke goalkeeper – free
Nolito – Man City striker – free

Formation: 3-4-3
Remaining budget: £3.5m

FC Testiculadew 2016/17

‘Tache: The FC Testiculadew manager

Manager: James N (Yorkshire)

Since: 2011

Home ground: Scrotrot Street

Training facility: The Death Star

Trophy cabinet: 2013/14 and 2011/12 league and cup double, 2014 Emerson World Cup winner

Kenna Index rating: 0.137 – 1st
2011/12 – 1st
2012/13 – 2nd
2013/14 – 1st
2014/15 – 7th
2015/16 – 8th

Sympathies: Everton

Darts music: Space March – John Barry

Starting XI – August auction

Heaton, T	BUR	£ 0.50
Cathcart, C (TW1)	WAT	£ 5.00
Walker, K	TOT	£ 10.00
Fuchs, C	LEI	£ 6.00
Silva, D	MCY	£ 14.00
Stuart Hall (TW1)	HMP Kenna	£ 12.50
Iwobi, A	ARS	£ 2.00
Hojbjerg, P (TW1)	SOT	£ 0.50
Hazard, E	CHE	£ 2.00
Hernandez, A	HUL	£ 3.00
Ibrahimovic, Z	MUN	£ 31.00
		£ 86.50

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (3rd)

In
Adam Smith – Bournemouth defender – £5m
Sofiane Boufal – Southampton defender – £0.5m
Etienne Capoue – Watford midfielder – £9m

Out
Craig Cathcart – Watford defender – free
Stuart Hall – HMP Kenna midfielder – free
Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg – Southampton midfielder – free

Formation: 4-4-2
Remaining budget: £9m

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February 2017 (2nd)

In
Calum Chambers – Boro defender – £2m
Gini Wijnaldum – Liverpool midfielder – £16m (the ISIL manager had lost him under the Titus Bramble ruling)

Out
Sofiane Boufal – Southampton defender – free
Abel Hernandez – Hull striker – free

Formation: 4-5-1
Remaining budget: £1m

Islington Sports Islam & Leisure 2016/17

Manager: Abdi (Somalia)

Twitter name: @abdinw1

Since: 2010

Home ground: Mogadishu Arena

Training facility: Spyglass Hill

Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winner 2012/13

Kenna Index rating: 0.68 – 22nd
2010/11 – 14th
2011/12 – 5th
2012/13 – 8th
2013/14 – 21st (relegated)
2014/15 – 20th (relegated)
2015/16 – 16th

Sympathies: Arsenal

Darts music: The Trumpet Hornpipe

Starting XI – August auction

Adrian	WHM	£ 3.00
Koscielny, L	ARS	£ 16.00
McAuley, G	WBA	£ 3.00
Keane, M	BUR	£ 2.00
Bailly, E	MUN	£ 7.00
Cabaye, Y	CRY	£ 7.00
Wijnaldum, G (TW2)	LIV	£ 14.00
Redmond, N	SOT	£ 13.00
Iheanacho, K (TW2)	MCY	£ 7.00
Costa, D	CHE	£ 27.00
King, J (TW2)	BOU	£ 0.50
		£ 99.50

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (1st)

No changes.

Formation: 4-3-3
Remaining budget: £10.5m

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February 2017 (4th)

In
Barry Bennell – HMP Kenna midfielder – £7m
Adlene Guedioura – Middlesborough midfielder – £2m
Daniel Sturridge – Liverpool striker – £8m

Out
Gigi Wijnaldum – Liverpool midfielder – lost on a Bramble
Kelechi Iheanacho – Man City striker – free
Joshua King – Bournemouth striker – £13m to Walthamstow Reds

Formation: 4-4-2
Remaining budget: £16.5m

Le Fadge Qui Rit

Manager: Aiden

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: none

Formation: 4-4-2

Team automatically generated from leftover auction players after manager failed to attend

Sirigu, S	ITA	£0.5m
Clyne, N	ENG	£0.5m
Carvalho, R	POT	£0.5m
Ignashevich, S	RUS	£0.5m
Wawrzyniak, J	POL	£0.5m
Pedro	ESP	£0.5m
Cabaye, Y	FRA	£0.5m
Schurrle, A	GER	£0.5m
Mak, R	SVK	£0.5m
Benteke, C	BEL	£0.5m
Priskin, T	HUN	£0.5m
		£5.5m

I Can Be Your Euro Baby

Manager: Lewis (treasurer)

Nationality: Le Moutons Baiseur

International honours: none

Formation: 3-5-2

Subasic, D	CRO	£0.5m
Smalling, C	ENG	£10m
Howedes, B	GER	£9m
Taylor, N	WAL	£0.5m
Davis, S	NIR	£0.5m
de Bruyne, K	BEL	£23m
Hamsik, M	SVK	£16m
Forsberg, E	SWE	£2m
Silva, A	POT	£0.5m
Morata, A	ESP	£20m
Janko, M	AUT	£10m
		£92m

Cowley Caliphate

Manager: Stu

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: none

Formation: 3-4-3

Hennessey, W	WAL	£0m
Soares, C	POT	£7m
Lichtsteiner, S	SUI	£11m
Coleman, S	IRL	£3m
Iniesta, A	ESP	£11m
Basha, M	ALB	£5.5m
Witsel, A	BEL	£1m
Candreva, A	ITA	£10m
Kane, H	ENG	£30m
Martial, A	FRA	£5m
Gomez, M	GER	£16m
		£100m

Le Horn d’Afrique

Manager: Abdi

Nationality: Le Pirate Arab

International honours: none

Formation: 4-4-2

Fabianski, L	POL	£2m
Stones, J	ENG	£9m
Olsson, M	SWE	£0.5m
Fuchs, C	AUT	£4m
Skrtel, M	SVK	£7m
Payet, D	FRA	£14m
Ramsey, A	WAL	£5m
Koke	ESP	£3m
Rosicky, T	CZE	£7m
Ronaldo, C	POT	£39m
Long, S	IRL	£5m
		£95.5m

Real Brexit

Manager: Pete

Nationality: Le Rosbif

International honours: none

Formation: 3-4-3

Tatarusanu, C	RMN	£2m
Shevchuk, V	UKR	£5m
Rodriguez, R	SUI	£8m
Danilo	POT	£3m
Busquets, S	ESP	£9m
Sigurdsson, G	ICE	£10m
Inan, S	TUR	£0.5m
Fellaini, M	BEL	£13m
Dzyuba, A	RUS	£12m
Lafferty, K	NIR	£1m
Rashford, M	ENG	£0.5m
		£64m