Managers – Page 21 – The Jeff Kenna League

Still Don’t Know Yet 2014/15

Undecided: The Still Don’t Know Yet manager

Manager: Pete (Teeside)

Twitter name: @peterball01

Since: 2012

Last season: 17th

Trophy cabinet: Empty (best finish – 14th in 2012/13)

Sympathies: Boro

Darts music: Theme from ‘The Power Game’ – Cyril Stapleton

Season preview in one sentence: With a 14th-place finish and a 17th-place finish under his belt, the manager knew that – for a third successive campaign – sticking to his auction strategy of blowing half the budget on Robin van Persie and the rest on a bunch of no hopers and bench warmers would be the last thing his competition would expect.

Boruc, A	SOT	£3.00
Huth, R	LEI	£7.00
Manquillo, J	LIV	£0.50
Monreal, N	ARS	£0.50
Zouma, K	CHE	£0.50
Downing, S	WHM	£4.00
Johnson, A	SUN	£8.00
Lennon, A	EVE	£3.00
Morrison, J	WBA	£3.00
Dzeko, E	MCY	£21.00
van Persie, R	MUN	£39.00
		£89.50m

First transfer window – Friday 17 October 2014

No transfers. Did not attend. Paying over the odds for drinks in discreet Lisbon bars.

Remaining budget (for the Kenna): £10.5m

Second transfer window – Saturday 7 February 2015

No transfers. Did not attend. Paying over the odds for drinks in discreet Singapore bars.

Remaining budget (for the Kenna): £10.5m

Dynamo Charlton 2014/15

Manager: Alex (Surrey)

Twitter name: @alexbass75

Since: 2011

Last season: 19th

Trophy cabinet: Olisadebe Euro 2012 winner

Sympathies: Charlton Athletic

Darts music: The Gladiators TV theme

Season preview in one sentence: A mixture of untested talent and Kenna experience revolving around an Elephant who will never forget should the manager not remember his birthday (13 May, by the way).

Howard, T	EVE	£ 0.50
Vlaar, R	AVL	£ 6.00
Dawson, M (TW1)	HUL	£ 0.50
Wisdom, A	WBA	£ 2.00
Sakho, M (TW2)	LIV	£ 10.00
Özil, M (TW1)	ARS	£ 0.50
Toure, Y	MCY	£ 10.00
Cabella, R	NEW	£ 15.00
Gomez, J (TW2)	SUN	£ 0.50
Kane, H (TW2)	TOT	£ 36.00
Gomis, B	SWA	£ 8.00
		£ 58.00m

First transfer window – Friday 17 October 2014

In
Jonny Evans – defender, MUN – £0.5m
Michael Dawson – defender, HUL – £0.5m
Özil – midfielder, ARS – £0.5m

Out
Debuchy – defender, ARS – £0
Teixeira – defender, STO – £0
Snodgrass – midfielder, HUL – £0

Remaining budget: £45.5m

Second transfer window – Saturday 7 February 2015

In
Sakho, M – defender, LIV – £10m
Gomez, J – midfielder, SUN – £0.5m
Kane, H – striker, TOT – £36m

Out
Evans, J – defender, MUN – £0m
Albrighton, M – midfielder, LEI – £0m
Lambert, R – striker, LIV – £0m

Remaining budget: £8m

Piedmonte 2014/15

England till he dies: Piedmonte manager

Manager: Phil (Wolverhampton)

Twitter name: @PhillyD55

Since: 2005 (co-founder)

Last season: Runner up

Trophy cabinet: Empty (best finish – 2nd in 2006/07 and last season)

Sympathies: Notts County

Darts music: The Great Escape – the England Band

Season preview in one sentence: The two-time runner up no-time winner has attempted to shed his ‘always the bridesmaid’ tag by signing Andros Townsend again: will the Piedmonte manager ever learn?

Krul, T	NEW	£0.50
Azpilicueta, C	CHE	£11.00
Mertesacker, P	ARS	£10.00
O’Shea, J	SUN	£5.00
Sagna, B	MCY	£7.00
Gerrard, S	LIV	£18.00
Pienaar, S	EVE	£2.00
Shelvey, J	SWA	£6.00
Townsend, A	TOT	£0.50
Valencia, E	WHM	£8.00
Hernandez, A (TW1)	HUL	£0.50
		£68.50m

First transfer window – Friday 17 October 2014

In
Abel Hernandez – striker, HUL – £0.5m

Out
Loic Remy – striker, CHE – £0m

Remaining budget: £26.5m

Second transfer window – Saturday 7 February 2015

No transfers.

Remaining budget: £26.5m

Judean Peoples’ Front 2014/15

Cold-blooded killer: The Judean Peoples’ Front manager

Manager: Sholto (Wales)

Since: 2008

Last season: 4th

Trophy cabinet: empty (best finish – 3rd in 2012/13)

Sympathies: Manchester United

Darts music: Serial Killa – Snoop Doggy Dogg

Season preview in one sentence: How much 10th anniversary auction celebratory champagne must one drink before Victor Anichebe is considered a good signing?

Lloris, H	TOT	£12.00
Bertrand, R (TW1)	SOT	£3.00
Jones, P (TW1)	MUN	£0.50
Koscielny, L	ARS	£17.00
Vergini, S (TW1)	SUN	£0.50
Nasri, S (TW1)	MCY	£5.00
Oscar	CHE	£15.00
Henderson, J	LIV	£5.00
Zaha, W (TW2)	CRY	£7.00
Sakho, D (TW1)	WHU	£3.00
Jelavic, N (TW1)	HUL	£5.00
		£74.00

First transfer window – Friday 17 October 2014

In
Ryan Bertrand – defender, SOT – £3m
Phil Jones – defender, MUN – £0.5m
Vergini – defender, SUN – £0.5m
Samir Nasri – midfielder, MCY – £5m
Sakho, D – striker, WHU – £3m
Jelavic, N – striker, HUL – £5m

Out
Curtis Davies – defender, HUL – £0m
Jonny Evans – defender, MUN – £0m
Steve Taylor – defender, NEW – £0m
Besic, M – midfielder, EVE – £0m
Anichebe, V – striker, WBA – £0m
Negredo, A – striker, MCY – £0m

Remaining budget: £8m

Second transfer window – Saturday 7 February 2015

In
Zaha, W – midfielder, CRY – £7m

Out
Delph, F – midfielder, AVL – £0m

Remaining budget: £11m

Fat Ladies 2014/15

Fat Ladies manager picture — Pies the limit: The Fat Ladies manager

Manager: Ted (Coventry)

Twitter name: @haggerstontimes

Since: 2005 (co-founder)

Trophy cabinet: Champions 2007/08

Last season: N/A

Sympathies: Coventry, Manchester United

Darts music: Single Ladies – Beyonce

Season preview in one sentence: Middle East based Flores aside, strong at the back and up front, but midfield consistency could be described as ‘scatty‘.

Adrian (TW2)	WHU	£0.50
Alderweireld, T (TW2)	SOT	£4.00
Naughton, K (TW2)	SWA	£3.00
Enrique, J (TW2)	LIV	£2.00
Richardson, K (TW2)	AVL	£0.50
Lampard, F (TW2)	MCY	£0.50
Fer, L (TW2)	QPR	£0.50
Fletcher, D (TW2)	WBA	£2.00
Fellaini, M (TW2)	MUN	£2.00
Walters, J (TW2)	STO	£2.00
Cllr Roger Stone – Bramble (TW2)	ROT	£17.50
		£34.5m

First transfer window – Friday 17 October 2014

In
Senderos, P – defender, AVL – £4m
Gamboa, C – defender, WBA – £1m
Valencia, A – midfielder, MUN – £0.50m
Graham, D – striker, SUN – £4m (Bramble player)

Out
Chiriches, V – defender, TOT – £0m
Coloccini, F – defender, NEW – £0m
Young, A – midfielder, MUN – £0m
Benteke, C – striker, AVL – 0m (lost on a Bramble)

Remaining budget: 20.5m

Second transfer window – Saturday 7 February 2015

In
Adrian – goalkeeper, WHU – £0.5m
Alderweireld, T – defender, SOT – £4m
Naughton, K – defender, SWA – £3m
Enrique, J – defender, LIV – £2m
Richardson, K – defender, AVL – £0.5m
Lampard, F – midfielder, MCY – £0.5m
Fer, L – midfielder, QPR – £0.5m
Fletcher, D – midfielder, WBA – £2m
Fellaini, M – midfielder, MUN – £2m
Walters, J – striker, STO – £2m
Former Rotherham Counsellor Roger Stone – striker, ROT – £17.5m (Titus Bramble player)

Out
Szczesny, W – goalkeeper, ARS – £0m
Brown, W – defender, SUN – £0.5m
Senderos, P – defender, AVL – £0m
Gamboa, C – defender, WBA – £0m
Flores, C – defender, QAT – £0m
McCarthy, J – midfielder, EVE – £0m
Navas, J – midfielder, MCY – £0.5m
Nolan, K – midfielder, WHU – £0m
Valencia, A – midfielder, MUN – £0m
Graham, D – striker, SUN – £0m
Sturridge, D – striker, LIV – forfeit under the Titus Bramble ruling

Remaining budget: £9m

Walthamstow Reds 2014/15

In-ger-land: The Walthamstow Reds manager

Manager: Dudley (Wolverhampton)

Twitter name: @dudleyben

Since: 2005 (co-founder and committee member – charts and graphs)

Trophy cabinet: Empty (best finish – second in 2005/06)

Last season: 7th

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts music: House of Love – East 17

Season preview in one sentence: Are James Milner and Aiden McGeady really going to win you your first ever Kenna title in 10 years of trying?

Cech, P (TW2)	CHE	£ 0.50
Chester, J (TW1)	HUL	£ 0.50
Janmaat, D	NEW	£ 4.00
Williams, A	SWA	£ 4.00
Pieters, E	STO	£ 2.00
Lamela, E	TOT	£ 28.00
Coutinho, P (TW1)	LIV	£ 7.00
Navas, J (TW2)	MCY	£ 0.50
Walcott, T	ARS	£ 18.00
Kramaric, A (TW2)	LEI	£ 6.00
Rooney, W	MUN	£ 39.00
		£ 98m

First transfer window – Friday 17 October 2014

In
Schmeichel, K – goalkeeper, LEI – £0.50
Chester, J – defender, HUL – £0.50
Coutinho, P – midfielder, LIV – £7m
Arfield, S – midfielder, BUR – £0.50
Agbonlahor, G – striker, AVL – £0.50

Out
Cech, P – goalkeeper, CHE – £0m
Flanagan, J – defender, LIV – £0m
McGeady, A – midfielder, EVE – £0m
Milner, J – midfielder, MCY – 0.50m
Ideye, B – striker, WBA – £0m

Remaining budget: £3.5m

Second transfer window – Saturday 7 February 2015

In
Cech, P – goalkeeper, CHE – £0.5m
Navas, J – midfielder, MCY – £0.5m
Kramaric, A – striker, LEI – £6m

Out
Schmeichel, K – goalkeeper, LEI – £0m
Arfield, S – midfielder, BUR – £0m
Agbonlahor, G – striker, AVL – £0m

Remaining budget: £6.5m

Sporting Lesbian 2014/15

Sloth: The Sporting Lesbian manager

Manager: Ben M (Cumbria)

Twitter name: @BenMarcangelo

Since: 2012

Last season: 8th

Trophy cabinet: Champions 2012/13

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts music: Lesbian Seagull – David van Driessen

Season preview in one sentence: The expensive Sanchez and Sterling aside, only time will tell whether the Kenna champions from two seasons ago are a team of canny buys or complete dross.

de Gea, D	MUN	£ 1.00
Coleman, S	EVE	£ 14.00
Demichelis, M	MCY	£ 0.50
Luis, F	CHE	£ 10.00
Tomkins, J	WHM	£ 0.50
Elmohamady, A (TW1)	HUL	£ 1.00
Sterling, R	LIV	£ 33.00
Westwood, A	AVL	£ 0.50
Dyer, N (TW1)	SWA	£ 8.00
Sanchez, A	ARS	£ 34.00
Pelle, G	SOT	£ 3.00
		£ 105.00m

First transfer window – Friday 17 October 2014

In
Elmohamady, A – midfielder, HUL – £1m
Dyer, N – midfielder, SWA – £8m

Out
Paulinho – midfielder, TOT – £0m
Hernandez, P – midfielder, QAT – £0m

Remaining budget: £3.5m

Second transfer window – Saturday 7 February 2015

No transfers

Remaining budget: £3.5m

Bala Rinas 2014/15

Manager: Lewis (Wales)

Twitter name: @jsl105

Since: 2007 (committee member – treasurer)

Last season: 3rd

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – last season)

Sympathies: Wrexham

Darts music: C.R.E.A.M. – Wu Tang Clan

Season preview in one sentence: Chamakh and Jovetic yet to perform to their heralded potential in the Kenna, so it looks like the treasurer will be relying on Cahill, Ramsey and Eriksen to better last season’s third place.

Guzan, B	AVL	£0.50
Cahill, G	CHE	£15.00
Kelly, M (TW2)	CRY	£0.50
Brown, W (TW2)	SUN	£0.50
Trippier, K	BUR	£0.50
Eriksen, C	TOT	£24.00
Ramsey, A	ARS	£20.00
Tadic, D	SOT	£10.00
Sissoko, M	NEW	£3.00
Bony, W (TW2)	MCY	£23.00
Diouf, M (TW2)	STO	£0.50
		£97.50m

First transfer window – Friday 17 October 2014

No transfers. Not even Marouane Chamakh.

Remaining budget: £16m

Second transfer window – Saturday 7 February 2015

In
Kelly, M – defender, CRY – £0.5m
Brown, W – defender, SUN – £0.5m
Bony, W – striker, MCY – £23m
Diouf, M – striker, STO – £0.5m

Out
Lovren, D – defender, LIV – £0m
Rafael – defender, MUN – £0m
Jovetic, S – striker, MCY – £0m
Chamakh, M – striker, ARS – £0m

Remaining budget: £1.5m

Young Boys of Vauxhall 2014/15

Manager: Denney (Wales)

Twitter name: @andenney

Since: 2006

Last season: 16th

Trohpy cabinet: Champions 2010/11, Canesten Combi Cup winners 2008/09

Sympathies: Spurs

Darts music: We Don’t Talk Anymore – Sir Cliff Richard

Season preview in one sentence: Accomplished back five – should Don Vito get a starting berth – but flimsy going forward and unlikely to be able to do it on a cold, wet Tuesday night in Stoke.

Ospina, D (TW2)	ARS	£ 6.00
Baines, L	EVE	£ 5.00
Vertonghen, J (TW2)	TOT	£ 10.00
Kolarov, A	MCY	£ 5.00
Terry, J	CHE	£ 17.00
Moses, V (TW1)	STO	£ 0.50
Sigurdsson, G	SWA	£ 10.00
Elia, E (TW2)	SOT	£ 2.00
Boyd, G (TW2)	BUR	£ 0.50
Austin, C (TW1)	QPR	£ 0.50
Sturridge, D (TW2)	LIV	£ 0.50
		£ 96m

First transfer window – Friday 17 October 2014

In
Richardson, K – defender, AVL – £5m
Moses, V – midfielder, STO – £0.5m
Tiote, C – midfielder, NEW – £0.5m
Austin, C – striker, QPR – £0.5m
Balotelli, M – striker, LIV – £1m

Out
Jones, P – defender, MUN – £0.5m
Markovic, L – midfielder, LIV – £0m
Hoilett, J – midfielder, QPR – £0m
Krkic, B – striker, STO – £0m
Riviere, E – striker, NEW – £0m

Remaining budget: £12m

Second transfer window – Saturday 7 February 2015

In
Ospina, D – goalkeeper, ARS – £6m
Vertonghen, J – defender, TOT – £10m
Elia, E – midfielder, SOT – £2m
Boyd, G – midfielder, BUR – £0.5m
Sturridge, D – striker, LIV – £2m

Out
Mannone, V – goalkeeper, SUN – £0m
Richardson, K – defender, AVL – £0.5m
Arteta, M – midfielder, ARS – £0m
Tiote, C – midfielder, NEW – £0m
Balotelli, M – striker, LIV – £0m

Remaining budget: £1m

Lokomotiv Leeds 2014/15

All over my face: The Lokomotiv Leeds manager

Manager: Ben S (Yorkshire)

Twitter name: @BenCSilver

Since: 2011

Last season: 12th

Trophy cabinet: empty (best finish – runner up in 2011/12)

Sympathies: Leeds

Darts music: Bicycle Race – Queen

Season preview in one sentence: Still struggling to follow up an impressive debut three years ago, emerges from the auction with some agricultural defending, hotchpotch midfield options and Ivorians up front: lottery.

Heaton, T	BUR	£ 0.50
Shawcross, R	STO	£ 2.00
Moreno, A (TW1)	LIV	£ 13.00
Cresswell, A (TW2)	WHU	£ 8.00
Gibbs, K	ARS	£ 2.00
Colback, J (TW2)	NEW	£ 6.00
Silva, D	MCY	£ 25.00
Livermore, J (TW1)	HUL	£ 0.50
Mane, S (TW1)	SOT	£ 0.50
Defoe, J (TW2)	SUN	£ 15.00
Naismith, S (TW1)	EVE	£ 5.00
		£ 81.50m

First transfer window – Friday 17 October 2014

In
Moreno, A – defender, LIV – £13m
Livermore, J – midfielder, HUL – £0.50m
Mane, S – midfielder, SOT – £0.50
Naismith, S – striker, EVE – £5m

Out
Stones, J – defender, EVE – £0m
de Jong, S – midfielder, NEW – £0m
Nzonzi, S – midfielder, STO – £0m
Drogba, D – striker, CHE – £0m

Remaining budget: 9.5m

Second transfer window – Saturday 7 February 2015

In
Cresswell, A – defender, WHU – £8m
Colback, J – midfielder, NEW – £6m
Defoe, J – striker, SUN – £15m

Out
Vertonghen, J – defender, TOT – £10m
Herrera, A – midfielder, MUN – £0m
Bony, W – striker, MCY – £23m

Remaining budget: £23.5m