Tottenham Network Solutions 2018/19

Will and Gunnersaurus Rex
Influences at the highest echelons of the game: The TNS manager (left)

Manager: Will (Worcestershire)

Twitter name@chainfir3

Since: 2010

Home ground: King George’s Park

Training facility: The Alma

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – 8th in 2010/11)

Kenna Index rating: N/A
2010/11 – 8th
2012/13 – 19th (relegated)
2013/14 – did not enter
2014/15 – did not enter
2015/16 – 7th
2016/17 – 10th
2017/18 – 13th

Sympathies: Kidderminster Harriers

Darts musicMary Jane – Rick James

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £10m
Spend: £0.5m 
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £9.5m

Leno, B ARS  £10.00
Otamendi, N MCY  £18.00
Alderweireld, T TOT  £11.00
Pereira, R LEI  £5.00
Lindelof, V MUN  £0.50
Zaha, W CRY  £21.00
Anguissa, A (TW1) FUL  £0.50
Doucoure, A WAT  £6.00
Gueye, I EVE  £0.50
Giroud, O CHE  £14.00
Defoe, J BOU  £6.00
     £92.50

Auction XI

Leno, B ARS  £10.00
Otamendi, N MCY  £18.00
Alderweireld, T TOT  £11.00
Pereira, R LEI  £5.00
Lindelof, V MUN  £0.50
Zaha, W CRY  £21.00
Savile, J BRM  £8.00
Doucoure, A WAT  £6.00
Gueye, I EVE  £0.50
Giroud, O CHE  £14.00
Defoe, J BOU  £6.00
     £100.00

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Piss Poor 2018/19

John N profile pic
Sucking it in: The Headless Chickens manager

Manager: John N (Yorkshire)

Since: 2011

Home ground: Guillotine Way

Training facility: The Coop

Trophy cabinet: empty

Form
2011/12 – 11th
2012/13 – 16th
2013/14 – 9th
2014/15 – 16th
2015/16 – 18th (relegated)
2016/17 – 21st (relegated)
2017/18 – 11th

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts musicHala Madrid y nada mas

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £16m
Spend: N/A
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £16m

Schmeichel, K LEI  £11.00
Kompany, V MCY  £5.00
Trippier, K TOT  £15.00
Coleman, S EVE  £8.00
Koscielny, L ARS  £9.00
Jorginho CHE  £6.00
Shelvey, J NEW  £7.00
Mooy, A HUD  £5.00
Lingard, J MUN  £17.00
Sturridge, D LIV  £9.00
Vietto, L FUL  £2.00
 £94.00

Auction XI

Schmeichel, K LEI  £11.00
Kompany, V MCY  £5.00
Trippier, K TOT  £15.00
Coleman, S EVE  £8.00
Koscielny, L ARS  £9.00
Jorginho CHE  £6.00
Shelvey, J NEW  £7.00
Mooy, A HUD  £5.00
Lingard, J MUN  £17.00
Sturridge, D LIV  £9.00
Vietto, L FUL  £2.00
 £94.00
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Hairy Fadjeetas 2018/19

Aiden
Wheeler dealer: The Hairy Fadjeetas manager

Manager: Aiden (Yorkshire)

Twitter name@Br15land

Since: 2011

Home ground: Bikini Lane

Training facility: The Growler

Trophy cabinet: Empty

Form
2011/12 – 15th
2012/13 – 9th
2013/14 – 13th
2014/15 – 10th
2015/16 – 17th (relegated)
2016/17 – 3rd
2017/18 – 8th

Sympathies: Sheffield Wednesday

Darts musicInner Circle – Sweat

Second transfer window – February 2019

Starting budget: £20m
Spend: £0.5m
Player sales:
Remaining budget: £19.5m

Dubravka, M NEW  £2.00
Aurier, S TOT  £0.50
Monreal, N ARS  £0.50
Mawson, A (TW2) FUL  £0.50
Digne, L EVE  £0.50
Sterling, R MCY  £29.00
Mata, J MUN  £5.00
Pritchard, A HUD  £3.00
Anderson, F WHM  £11.00
Firmino, R LIV  £33.00
Ings, D SOT  £15.00
 £100.00

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £10m
Spend: £0.5m
Player sales: £0.5m (Christensen to Craven Cottaging)
Remaining budget: £10m

Dubravka, M NEW  £2.00
Aurier, S TOT  £0.50
Monreal, N ARS  £0.50
Moses, V (TW1) CHE  £0.50
Digne, L EVE  £0.50
Sterling, R MCY  £29.00
Mata, J MUN  £5.00
Pritchard, A HUD  £3.00
Anderson, F WHM  £11.00
Firmino, R LIV  £33.00
Ings, D SOT  £15.00
 £100.00

Auction XI

Dubravka, M NEW  £2.00
Aurier, S TOT  £0.50
Monreal, N ARS  £0.50
Christensen, A CHE  £0.50
Digne, L EVE  £0.50
Sterling, R MCY  £29.00
Mata, J MUN  £5.00
Pritchard, A HUD  £3.00
Anderson, F WHM  £11.00
Firmino, R LIV  £33.00
Ings, D SOT  £15.00
 £100.00
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Turnpike Pirates 2018/19

Abdi
Scourge of the high seas: The Turnpike Pirates manager

Manager: Abdi (Somalia)

Twitter name@abdinw1

Since: 2010

Home ground: Mogadishu Arena

Training facility: Spyglass Hill

Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winner 2012/13

Form
2010/11 – 14th
2011/12 – 5th
2012/13 – 8th
2013/14 – 21st (relegated)
2014/15 – 20th (relegated)
2015/16 – 16th
2016/17 – 5th
2017/18 – 18th

Sympathies: Arsenal

Darts musicThe Trumpet Hornpipe

Second transfer window – February 2019

Starting budget: £12m
Spend: £6.5m
Player sales:
Remaining budget: £m

Hart, J BUR  £2.00
Maguire, H LEI  £12.00
Bamba, S (TW2) CAR  £0.50
Holebas, J (TW1) WAT  £0.50
Bailly, E MUN  £6.00
Billing, P (TW2) HUD  £6.00
Mkhitaryan, H ARS  £19.00
Redmond, N (TW1) SOT  £8.00
Knockaert, A (TW1) BTN  £0.50
Heung-min, S TOT  £18.00
Rondon, S NEW  £12.00
 £84.50

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £10.5m
Spend: £9.5m
Player sales: £1m (Danilo and Wilshere to Craven Cottaging for £0.5m each)
Remaining budget: £2m

Hart, J BUR  £2.00
Maguire, H LEI  £12.00
Kenny, J (TW1) EVE  £0.50
Holebas, J (TW1) WAT  £0.50
Bailly, E MUN  £6.00
Fabregas, C CHE  £8.00
Mkhitaryan, H ARS  £19.00
Redmond, N (TW1) SOT  £8.00
Knockaert, A (TW1) BTN  £o.50
Heung-min, S TOT  £18.00
Rondon, S NEW  £12.00
 £86.50

Auction XI

Hart, J BUR  £2.00
Maguire, H LEI  £12.00
Danilo MCY  £0.50
Soares, C SOT  £3.00
Bailly, E MUN  £6.00
Fabregas, C CHE  £8.00
Mkhitaryan, H ARS  £19.00
Wilshere, J WHM  £7.00
Besic, M EVE  £12.00
Heung-min, S TOT  £18.00
Rondon, S NEW  £12.00
 £99.50
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Lokomotiv Leeds 2018/19

Ben S profile pic
All over my face: The Lokomotiv Leeds manager

Manager: Ben S (Leeds)

Twitter name@BenCSilver

Since: 2011

Home ground: Bellend Road

Training facility: The Train Shed

Trophy cabinet: empty

Form
2011/12 – 2nd
2012/13 – 7th
2013/14 – 12th
2014/15 – 4th
2015/16 – 14th
2016/17 – 17th
2017/18 – 4th

Sympathies: Leeds

Darts musicBicycle Race – Queen

Second transfer window – February 2019

Starting budget: £27m
Spend: £
Player sales:
Remaining budget:

Begovic, A BOU  £1.00
van Aanholt, P CRY  £5.00
Morrison, S CAR  £6.00
Papastathopoulos, S ARS  £5.00
Duffy, S BTN  £0.50
Sanchez, A MUN  £30.00
Sigurdsson, G EVE  £8.00
Fernandinho MCY  £0.50
Tielemans, Y (TW2) LEI  £0.50
Grant, K (TW2) HUD  £0.50
Joselu (TW1) NEW  £11.00
 £68.00

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £28m
Spend: £11.5m
Player sales: £0.5m (Bonatini to Mo Me The Mane)
Remaining budget: £17m

Begovic, A BOU  £1.00
van Aanholt, P CRY  £5.00
Morrison, S CAR  £6.00
Papastathopoulos, S ARS  £5.00
Duffy, S BTN  £0.50
Sanchez, A MUN  £30.00
Sigurdsson, G EVE  £8.00
Fernandinho MCY  £0.50
Lanzini, M (TW1) WHM  £0.50
Morata, A CHE  £25.00
Joselu (TW1) NEW  £11.00
 £92.50

Auction XI

Begovic, A BOU  £1.00
van Aanholt, P CRY  £5.00
Morrison, S CAR  £6.00
Papastathopoulos, S ARS  £5.00
Duffy, S BTN  £0.50
Sanchez, A MUN  £30.00
Sigurdsson, G EVE  £8.00
Fernandinho MCY  £0.50
Fabinho LIV  £0.50
Morata, A CHE  £25.00
Bonatini, L WLV  £0.50
 £82.00
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Newington Reds 2018/19

Dudley profile pic
English food: The Newington Reds manager

Manager: Dudley (Wolverhampton)

Twitter name@dudleyben

Since: 2005 (co founder and committee member)

Home ground: The Old Dog Track

Training facility: Banbury Reservoir

Trophy cabinet: Krakow Cup 2018

Form
2005/06 – 2nd
2006/07 – 7th
2007/08 – 4th
2008/09 – 4th
2009/10 – 3rd
2010/11 – 11th
2011/12 – 3rd
2012/13 – 11th
2013/14 – 7th
2014/15 – 8th
2015/16 – 2nd
2016/17 – 11th
2017/18 – 6th

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts musicHouse of Love – East 17

Second transfer window – February 2019

Starting budget: £83.5m
Spend: £84m
Player sales:
Remaining budget:

Fabianski, L WHM  £1.00
Evans, J (TW1) LEI  £0.50
Robertson, A LIV  £14.00
Coady, C WLV  £0.50
Taylor, C (TW1) BUR  £11.00
Milivojevic, L CRY  £5.00
Hojbjerg, P (TW2) SOT  £0.50
Camarasa, V (TW1) CAR  £0.50
Babel, R (TW2) FUL  £18.00
Murray, G BTN  £0.50
Higuain, G (TW2) CHE  £65.00
 £116.50

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £84.5m
Spend: £12m
Player sales: £1m (Phil Jones and Andre Gomes to Cowley Casuals for £0.5m each)
Remaining budget: £73.5m

Fabianski, L WHM  £1.00
Evans, J (TW1) LEI  £0.50
Robertson, A LIV  £14.00
Coady, C WLV  £0.50
Taylor, C (TW1) BUR  £11.00
Milivojevic, L CRY  £5.00
Kenedy NEW  £0.50
Camarasa, V (TW1) CAR  £0.50
Lamela, E TOT  £0.50
Murray, G BTN  £0.50
Gray, A WAT  £0.50
 £34.50

Auction XI

Fabianski, L WHM  £1.00
Jones, P MUN  £2.00
Robertson, A LIV  £14.00
Coady, C WLV  £0.50
Mawson, A FUL  £0.50
Milivojevic, L CRY  £5.00
Kenedy NEW  £0.50
Gomes, A EVE  £0.50
Lamela, E TOT  £0.50
Murray, G BTN  £0.50
Gray, A WAT  £0.50
 £25.50
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Pikey Scum 2018/19

Jack
Maiden trophy: The Pikey Scum manager

Manager: Jack (Hampshire)

Since: 2005 (co-founder and committee member – charts and graphs)

Home ground: South Hackney Caravan Park

Training facility: Any patch of grass that riles local residents

Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winner 2008, Narcozep Cup winner 2016, Kenna League champions 2017/18, Claudio Caniggia World Cup 2006 winner (under review), Dmitri Kharine 2018 World Cup 2018 winner

Form
2005/06 – 7th
2007/08 – 8th
2008/09 – 8th
2009/10 – 7th
2010/11 – 5th
2011/12 – 7th
2012/13 – 15th
2013/14 – 5th
2014/15 – 13th
2015/16 – 6th
2016/17 – 18th
2017/18 – 1st

Sympathies: Spurs

Darts musicI’m A Pikey – Enrique Iglesias

Second transfer window – February 2019

Starting budget: £27m
Spend: £1.5m
Player sales:
Remaining budget:

Patricio, R WLV  £5.00
Schindler, C HUD  £0.50
Walker, K MCY  £17.00
Clyne, N (TW2) BOU  £0.50
Klavan, R (TW2) LIV  £0.50
Walcott, T EVE  £6.00
Iwobi, A ARS  £0.50
Lanzini, M (TW2) WHM  £0.50
Kante, N CHE  £0.50
Kane, H TOT  £40.00
Mitrovic, A FUL  £22.00
 £93.00

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £17m
Spend: N/A
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £17m

Patricio, R WLV £5.00
Schindler, C HUD  £0.50
Walker, K MCY  £17.00
Darmian, M MUN  £0.50
Ward, S BUR  £0.50
Walcott, T EVE  £6.00
Iwobi, A ARS  £0.50
Ox-Chamberlain, A LIV  £0.50
Kante, N CHE  £0.50
Kane, H TOT  £40.00
Mitrovic, A FUL  £22.00
 £93.00

Auction XI

Patricio, R WLV £5.00
Schindler, C HUD  £0.50
Walker, K MCY  £17.00
Darmian, M MUN  £0.50
Ward, S BUR  £0.50
Walcott, T EVE  £6.00
Iwobi, A ARS  £0.50
Ox-Chamberlain, A LIV  £0.50
Kante, N CHE  £0.50
Kane, H TOT  £40.00
Mitrovic, A FUL  £22.00
 £93.00
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FC Testiculadew 2018/19

James N profile
‘Tache: The FC Testiculadew manager

Manager: James N (Yorkshire)

Since: 2011

Home ground: Scrotrot Street

Training facility: The Death Star

Trophy cabinet: 2013/14 and 2011/12 league and cup double, 2014 Emerson World Cup winner

Form
2011/12 – 1st
2012/13 – 2nd
2013/14 – 1st
2014/15 – 7th
2015/16 – 8th
2016/17 – 2nd
2017/18 – 14th

Sympathies: Everton

Darts music: The Imperial March (Family Guy elevator remix)

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £15.5m
Spend: £8m
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £7.5m

Arrizabalaga, K CHE  £14.00
Otto, J (TW1) WLV £8.00
Mina, Y EVE  £0.50
Zabaleta, P WHM  £0.50
Mee, B BUR  £4.00
Meyer, M CRY  £0.50
Ozil, M ARS  £21.00
Elyounoussi, M SOT  £0.50
Gundogan, I MCY  £3.00
Lukaku, R MUN  £41.00
Iheanacho, K LEI  £6.50
 £98.50

Auction XI

Arrizabalaga, K CHE  £14.00
Clyne, N LIV £3.00
Mina, Y EVE  £0.50
Zabaleta, P WHM  £0.50
Mee, B BUR  £4.00
Meyer, M CRY  £0.50
Ozil, M ARS  £21.00
Elyounoussi, M SOT  £0.50
Gundogan, I MCY  £3.00
Lukaku, R MUN  £41.00
Iheanacho, K LEI  £6.50
 £94.50
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Thieving Magpies 2018/19

Phil profile pic
England till he dies: ‘Pies manager

Manager: Phil (Wolverhampton)

Twitter name@PhillyD55

Since: 2005 (co founder)

Home ground: Tinfoil Street

Training facility: The Wheelbarrow

Trophy cabinet: 2016/17 league winner

Form
2005/06 – 3rd
2006/07 – 2nd
2007/08 – 11th
2008/09 – 5th
2009/10 – 11th
2010/11 – 7th
2011/12 – 18th (relegated)
2012/13 – 4th
2013/14 – 2nd
2014/15 – 14th
2015/16 – 9th
2016/17 – 1st
2017/18 – 9th

Sympathies: Notts County

Darts musicThe Great Escape – the England Band

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £10m
Spend: N/A
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £10m

Pickford, J EVE  £11.00
Alonso, M CHE  £17.00
Boly, W WLV  £4.00
Kabasele, C WAT  £4.00
Yoshida, M SOT  £1.00
Martial, A MUN  £10.00
Shaqiri, X LIV  £6.00
Fraser, R BOU  £2.00
Reid, B CAR  £2.00
Jesus, G MCY  £29.00
Benteke, C CRY  £14.00
 £100.00

Auction XI

Pickford, J EVE  £11.00
Alonso, M CHE  £17.00
Boly, W WLV  £4.00
Kabasele, C WAT  £4.00
Yoshida, M SOT  £1.00
Martial, A MUN  £10.00
Shaqiri, X LIV  £6.00
Fraser, R BOU  £2.00
Reid, B CAR  £2.00
Jesus, G MCY  £29.00
Benteke, C CRY  £14.00
 £100.00
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Judean Peoples’ Front 2018/19

Sholto profile pic
Cold-blooded killer: The Judean Peoples’ Front manager

Manager: Sholto (Wales)

Twitter name@sholtoGH

Since: 2008

Home ground: Wetsuit Way

Training facility: The Island

Trophy cabinet: empty

Form
2007/08 – 11th
2009/10 – 6th
2011/12 – 9th
2012/13 – 3rd
2013/14 – 4th
2014/15 – 5th
2015/16 – 15th
2016/17 – 20th (relegated)
2017/18 – 17th

Sympathies: Manchester United

Darts musicDr Dre – Bang Bang

Second transfer window – February 2019

Starting budget: £13m
Spend: £0.5m
Player sales:
Remaining budget:

McCarthy, A SOT  £1.00
Sanchez, D TOT  £5.00
Bennett, R (TW1) WLV  £0.50
Sakho, M CRY  £3.00
Bong, G BTN  £2.00
de Bruyne, K MCY  £36.00
Albrighton, M LEI  £2.00
Pogba, P MUN  £25.00
Yarmolenko, A WHM  £7.00
Perez, A NEW  £8.00
Ayew, J (TW2) CRY  £0.50
 £90.00

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £17m
Spend: £14.5m
Player sales: £0.5m (Dejan Lovren to Cowley Casuals)
Remaining budget: £3m

McCarthy, A SOT  £1.00
Sanchez, D TOT  £5.00
Bennett, R (TW1) WLV  £0.50
Sakho, M CRY  £3.00
Bong, G BTN  £2.00
de Bruyne, K MCY  £36.00
Albrighton, M LEI  £2.00
Pogba, P FUL  £25.00
Yarmolenko, A WHM  £7.00
Perez, A NEW  £8.00
Ward, D (TW1) CAR  £14.00
 £79.00

Auction XI

McCarthy, A SOT  £1.00
Sanchez, D TOT  £5.00
Lovren, D LIV  £5.00
Sakho, M CRY  £3.00
Moses, V CHE  £0.50
de Bruyne, K MCY  £36.00
Albrighton, M LEI  £2.00
Pogba, P FUL  £25.00
Yarmolenko, A WHM  £7.00
Perez, A NEW  £8.00
Niasse, O EVE  £0.50
 £93.00
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