Trophy cabinet Champions 2005/06 Canesten Combi Cup winner 2006 Treble in 2009/2010 (league, cup, Dr Khumalo World Cup 2010) Narcozep Cup winner 2017 Euros Super League winner 2020+1
THE Kenna League treasurer is set to make an appeal after he became the first manager in history to Bramble himself on a silent bid.
The absent manager put forward three strikers among his silent bids before the auction Michail Antonio, Edison Cavani, and Ferran Torres.
Having signed Antonio and Cavani, the treasurer successfully bid for Torres. The error was uncovered with much mirth from managers in attendance.
Cavani, who went on to be signed by the chairman for £21m, was removed from the treasurer’s team to be replaced with Titus Bramble player Jimmy Savile.
Kenna HQ expects an appeal this week.
The first auction in person for two years took on a different dynamic to previous Kenna events.
Just six managers showed up in person, with nine more submitting silent bids. The opening hour of the auction saw five of the managers present try to second guess just how much money each absent manager had placed on their maximum of four players.
From then on it was a case of supply outstripping demand, as those present were faced little opposition to making their preferred signings in a torrent of Neck Oil and Pilsner Urquell.
A record of 117 players will now go through the autofill. With so much talent unsigned those in The Larrik were rightly concerned they could be outdone by a completely autofilled team.
The Kenna League chairman finally got round to confirming himself Euros Super League winner.
The trophy puts the chairman into the Kenna record books, as the first manager to win two international tournaments. He won ‘the Khumalo’ 2010 Dr Khumalo World Cup.
After speaking briefly of ’11 years of hurt’ in a press conference this morning, the chairman explained why it had taken him so long to share his good news.
‘Last week started badly on an emotional and a physical level. It was hard to acknowledge that football or sobriety could exist. Even the Kenna, that sacred lamb, was difficult to countenance.
‘Then I started taking an interest in transfer news and here we are.’
Having bared his soul, the chairman went about rubbing victory in managers’ faces.
‘How they laughed when I signed Jordan Pickford and Ronaldo at the auction, and they finish the tournament the two top points scorers.
‘How they laughed when I signed Patrick van Aanholt for £19m. He scored 17 points.
‘How they laughed at a midfield of Calhanoglu, Kroos, and Golovin, and admittedly they were awful, but they still scored 21 points between them.
‘Even one-game Timothy Castagne scored four points. Needless to say, I had the last laugh.’
Managers now look ahead to the domestic auction on Saturday 7 August. The chairman has promised to get ‘managers back in pubs’ based ‘not on dates or data, but daytime drinking’.
