Just FEMEN

Manager: Clare

Nationality: Scotland

Domestic club side: in between jobs (recently sacked from Polonia Forsyth)

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: 9th (out of 15)

4-4-2

Stekelenburg, M Holland £13m
Evra, P France £9m
Sivok, T Czech Republic £3.5m
Agger, D Denmark £3m
O’Shea, J Rep of Ireland £4m
Schweinsteiger, B Germany £17m
Quaresma, R Portugal £4m
Modric, L Croatia £10m
Fàbregas, C Spain £10m
Balotelli, M Italy £19m
Elmander, J Sweden £7m
Total £99.5m
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Bwing on the Euwos

Manager: Denney

Nationality: Wales

Domestic club side: Young Boys of Kilburn

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: 5th (out of 15)
  • John Jensen 2008 Euros: 4th (out of eight)

4-4-2

Buffon, G Italy £19m
Ramos, S Spain £20m
Cole, A England £14m
Kadlec, M Czech Republic £10m
Anyukov, A Russia £10m
Mandžukic, M Croatia £14m
Blaszczykowski, J Poland £3m
Elm, R Sweden £0.5m
Götze, M Germany £0.5m
Ben Arfa, H France £0.5m
Kuyt, D Holland £8m
Total £99.5m
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Utoya Island XI

Manager: Sholto

Nationality: Wales

Domestic club side: Judean Peoples’ Front

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: 8th (out of 15)
  • John Jensen 2008 Euros: Last (out of eight)

4-4-2

Given, S Rep of Ireland £3.5m
Mertesacker, P Germany £0.5m
Ranocchia, A Italy £0.5m
Antonsson, M Sweden £0.5m
Lovren, D Croatia £0.5m
Young, A England £26m
Nasri, S France £16m
Alonso, X Spain £3m
Dzagoev, A Russia £14m
Ronaldo, C Portugal £28m
Løvenkrands, P Denmark £0.5m
Total £93m
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Chernobyl Forlov

Manager: Aiden

Nationality: England

Domestic club side: Hairy Fadjeetas

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: 2nd (out of 15)

4-4-2

Pletikosa, S Croatia £0.5m
Chiellini, G Italy £12m
Rami, A France £7m
Torossidis, V Greece £0.5m
Safari, B Sweden £0.5m
Walcott, T England £5m
Mata, J Spain £0.5m
Obraniak, L Poland £0.5m
Hunt, S Rep of Ireland £0.5m
Gomez, M Germany £32m
Huntelaar, KJ Holland £22m
Total £81m
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The Horn of Africa

Manager: Abdi

Nationality: Somalia

Domestic club side: Spartak Mogadishu

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: 13th (out of 15)

4-4-2

(‘TB’ denotes forfeit player awarded under the Titus Bramble Ruling)

Sifakis, M Greece £0.5m
Pepe Portugal £5m
Piszczek, L Poland £16m
Shishkin, R Russia £4m
Olsson, M Sweden £7.5m
de Jong, N (TB) Holland £0.5m
Khedira, S Germany £13m
Busquets, S Spain £18m
Eriksen, C Denmark £12m
Carroll, A England £12m
Di Natale, A Italy £7.5m
Total £96m
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Every Pole’s a Goal

Manager: Lewis

Nationality: Wales

Domestic club side: Bala Rinas

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: Did not enter
  • John Jensen 2008 Euros: 6th (out of eight)

4-4-2

Lloris, H France £12m
van der Wiel, G Holland £15m
Šimunic, J Croatia £0.5m
Kucher, O Ukraine £0.5m
Wawrzyniak, J Poland £0.5m
Hernández, X Spain £20m
Pirlo, A Italy £8.5m
Gerrard, S England £20m
Veloso, M Portugal £0.5m
Klose, M Germany £15m
Arshavin, A Russia £0.5m
Total £93m
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Don’t Know Yet

Manager: Ball (“‘B’, ‘A’, double ‘L'”)

Nationality: England

Domestic club side: N/A

Tournament history: Debut Kenna manager

4-4-2

(‘TB’ denotes forfeit player awarded under the Titus Bramble Ruling. Strike denotes player not taking part in tournament)

Pyatov, A Ukraine £1m
Badstuber, H Germany £9m
Criscito, D Italy £1.5m
Jacobsen, L Denmark £0.5m
Rolando Portugal £0.5m
Lampard, F England £9.5m
Robben, A Holland £33m
Malouda, F France £5m
Pranjic, D Croatia £13m
Torres, F Spain £21m
Samaras, G (TB) Greece £0.5m
Total £94.5m
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The Eurosceptics

Manager: Alex

Nationality: England

Domestic club side: Dynamo Charlton

Tournament history: International debut

4-4-2

Cech, P Czech Republic £12m
Alba, J Spain £20m
Terry, J England £11m
Alves, B Portugal £5m
Papadopoulos, K Greece £9m
van der Vaart, R Holland £7m
McGeady, A Rep of Ireland £4.5m
Källström, K Sweden £10m
Cabaye, Y France £0.5m
Podolski, L Germany £7m
Cassano, A Italy £7m
Total £93m
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Just Put Warsaw

Manager: Carles

Nationality: Catalunya

Domestic club side: Just Put Carles

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumlo 2010 World Cup: 4th (out of 15)

4-4-2

De Sanctis, M Italy £0.5m
Jones, P England £5m
Mexès, P France £8.5m
Gebreselassie, T Czech Republic £5.5m
Arbeloa, A Spain £11m
Moutinho, J Portugal £11m
Duff, D Rep of Ireland £4m
Katsouranis, K Greece £3m
van Bommel, M Holland £4.5m
Müller, T Germany £8m
Jelavic, N Croatia £21m
 Total £82m
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Bunga Bunga Euro Tour

Manager: John

Nationality: England

Domestic club side: Headless Chickens

Tournament history: International debut

(Strike denotes player not travelling to tournament)

4-4-2

Neuer, M Germany £15m
Heitinga, J Holland £8.5m
Wojtkowiak, G Poland £0.5m
Berezutski, A Russia £0.5m
Cahill, G England £0.5m
Iniesta, A Spain £29m
De Rossi, D Italy £8m
Ribéry, F France £21m
Larsson, S Sweden £8.5m
Postiga, H Portugal £7.5m
Eduardo Croatia £0.5m
Total £99.5m
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